Just asking, somewhat hypothetically. What are the benefits of a 3-way, and what are the difficulties? What problems have you had, and what have been the solutions?
Well, not me - but I did know of three guys in LA who were in a long term relationship - they later moved up near Russian River (north of SF) and were still all three together a few years later when they came back to LA to visit.
One I had known before they all got together and he and I used to talk a bit - he said things were going great. However, having known him prior to the three of them getting together, my theory of their (sexual) relationship was more of two dominant partners and one submissive - but at least when they were out and about in the bars in LA (where I would meet them) they just seemed like three really good friends out for a night on the town - nothing more, nothing less - so the sexual aspect was/is pure speculation on my part.
They seemed happy with their relationship - but again, this was quite a few years ago and I have no idea if they are still together - but they were at least together for about five years when I met them last.
I think a key factor is whether it’s really a three-way relationship or a pair of overlapping two-way relationships. You can judge by imaging each partner in the relationship gets run over by a truck tomorrow. Would the two surviving people remain together as a long term couple? Or would the relationship fall apart without the person in the center?
I met a couple at a party who wanted to tell us all about their highly evolved marriage. A few drinks later the woman had flitted away the man said to me, “What it really means is, she has a girlfriend and I’m really lonely.” That really colored my “hey, it could work” opinion.
I’d be more hopeful about a triangle that was truly equilateral - in which the three people had all met each other at about the same time and the idea appealed to all of them equally.
I have no first hand experience. I think Little Nemo had described a good litmus test. I can’t imagine I’ll ever need it. Someone might ask for advice one day, I suppose.
My mom is dating a man who has had 3-4 girlfriends for several years (I forget exactly how many). I think only 2 of the relationships are sexual, due to the age/physical abilities of his partners. He makes it work because he’s legally blind, collects disability payments, doesn’t have to work, and gets a lot of rides. My mom considers him her primary partner, but I’m not sure if she is his. I doubt he even has a primary.
Not sure how feasible this lifestyle is for someone who works 40 hours a week, though.