Relationship Threesomes

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

The IRL Crush thread got me thinking about something I think I would really like to happen. It probably never will, but a girl can always hope, eh?

I live in Utah, and although there aren’t a lot of polygamist families walking down the streets (they usually stay in close, rural communities) there are enough to know that they still exist in a fairly large number. I can personally name 4 clients of mine who have at least 2 wives, one has 6 and 27 kids. I also have second cousins who practice polygamy (family reunions are interesting). For the most part, these people live a communal and religious sheltered lifestyle that is pretty bizarre.

There are a few exceptions such as the owner of a large mortgage company who has his beautiful wives working for him. These women are lawyers, business managers, etc. This is highly unusual though.

Let me make it very clear that I have absolutely no desire to live THAT type of lifestyle. I don’t want to be one of the subservient wives of a polygamist. I don’t want to milk cows and pop out children somewhere out on a farm. I could never be brainwashed into following the strange religion that most of them are members. Nope! No way!

(Pee Wee Herman voice on)

Now for my BIG BUTT.

(Pee Wee Herman voice off)

I know without a doubt that I am capable of loving more than one man at a time. It rather depresses me to think that if or when I ever remarry, out of respect for my husband, I will not be able to allow myself to love anyone but him. I would never do something that would hurt him or risk my marriage.

However, when I think of what a perfect lifestyle for me would include, I always see two men in the picture. I can’t imagine anything better than a relationship so trusting that I could walk in the door after a hard day of work and be greeted by two men without a hint of jealousy from either one.

There are so many good qualities in people, why should we limit ourselves to just one? Can I not love one man’s sense of humor and the other man’s compassion towards others? Should I not be allowed to be in a loving relationship with an intellectual man because I am already in love with an ambitious man?

Instead of having two people who bring different experiences to a relationship, there would be three. One could bring a love of music while someone else could bring a knowledge of politics.

I can easily see myself with my head in one man’s lap watching videos while the other massages my feet. It makes me all tingly inside to think how they would both look working in my yard, shirts off, sweaty, muscles rippling, as I watch them from my kitchen window as I make lunch.
:::sigh:::

I would love to have a man on each arm as we hiked up a mountain trail or snuggle under the sheets between their warm bodies on cold winter nights. Just think of the advantages if one loved to cook and do carpentry work and the other liked budgeting and auto mechanics, while I enjoy taking care of the bills and gardening. Not to mention a triple income family or even the luxury of one of us staying home to manage the house.

Do you know how hard it is to find one man who can do everything?

I’m not going into the sex part, other than to say that it would be awesome!

I understand the B.S. that men bring to a relationship and this type of lifestyle would bring it on double. Still, the companionship that three people can have together, plus the additional benefits, would make the B.S. worth living with.

I know my description sounds like a sexual fantasy, aside from that, I really would love the companionship of this type of relationship.

To be honest, I admit that I could not be in a F M F relationship. I would have a problem with sharing my husband with another women.

Double standards? Yeah.

Do any of you have this same desire?

Do you think that people are capable of loving more than one person at a time?

Do you think something like this would work or do you think that humans are too jealous?

Do you find it immoral?

Are you a guy who is able and willing to apply for one of my husband positions? :wink:

Pardon me while I burst into flames.

2

Yeah, I still haven’t been laid. :frowning:

3

Slut.

:slight_smile:

4

If it helps, Diane, I’m picturing you in a threesome right now . . .
{ducking & running}

5

Figures. The one time in my entire life that I actually wanted a smiley to appear so that there was no mistaking the fact that I was just kidding, and the damned thing didn’t work. Meanwhile :Damned smilies are appearing where people don’t want them.

sigh

6

I can’t remember where it is, but there is at least one culture where it is not uncommon for two brothers to marry one woman. The sociobiologists (sorry, evolutionary psychologists) go on about how this shows natural selection at work–the only reason they aren’t overpoweringly jealous is that they share some of the same genes, so all the kids would be related to both brothers.

Supposedly the economy there is so bad it often takes two men to support one family.

So maybe you should be on the lookout for two poor (but gorgeous) brothers.

7

You guys are NOT funny! :::grrrrrr::: :slight_smile:

Hey, welcome back Phil!

8

You know where you’d find lots of support for this idea?

In my thread, Ask Bi Guy.

I for one would LOVE this arrangement. Unfortunately (in this one respect ONLY - the rest of my marriage is a big ol’ pile of “fortunately”), I’m married to a woman who would never go for that.

It’s not impossible. Kricket, an occasional poster to Ask Bi Guy, is in such a three-cornered marriage. Of course she’s only legally married to one of them, but my impression is that it’s a stable triad.

I hope you find the people you’re looking for. warm smile You have my envy if you achieve it.

Live a Lush Life
Da Chef

9

So maybe you should be on the lookout for two poor (but gorgeous) brothers."

—I don’t think Billy and Daniel Baldwin are doing much these days . . .

10

I think the culture described is Tibet.

Considered relocating, Diane? :slight_smile:

TMR
If you believed in yourself, and tore enough holes
in your pants, there was always a mist-filled alley
right around the corner.

11

Well, hey, at least you’re honest about your double standards.

Do I think threesomes and moresomes are immoral? No. Do I think they’re impractical for most people? Yes.

Most relationships require a buttload of work just to keep the two people involved on an even keel. Add a third person in, and the problems don’t increase arithmetically; they increase geometrically.

On the other hand, given a group of very mature adults, two or three senior members, and a set of very strong checks and balances, I wouldn’t be opposed to belonging to a group marriage. The kind I have in mind is rather like the line marriages of Heinlein’s The Moon is a Harsh Mistress. The resources of a multi-adult household are increased dramatically, the kids have more adults to raise and protect them, and the death of a parent, while tragic is not economically disastrous.

12

Of course, the polygamy most noted in Utah is more specifically polygyny - more than one wife. Mormons are rather chauvinistic on that point.

You must unlearn what you have learned. – Yoda

13

Well I could fullfill the rippling-muscles-in-the-yard thing no problem…cause I am all man sweetie…I make my own decisions and run my own life…I could pleasure you every night…cause I…wait…

(wife’s footsteps,)

aha: ohhhhh Hi honey!

Oops, sorry gotta go ::::

One of the few to be personally welcomed to this board by Ed Zotti.

Yours truly,
aha

14

I think it’s very possible to love more than one at a time.

Myself, I love multiple women. I love my platonic female friends, my not so platonic single female friends, and my married female friends. I have no committed relationships to any, and all of whom I am completly open and honest with about their place in my life.

I simply don’t know if I am capable of loving only one woman for the rest of my life.

That’s probably why I am still single.

Take care.

15

If you don’t think you could stand an FMF relationship, why would you expect your partner(s) to accept your MFM relationship?

I think you’ve hit on the main reason why monogamous relationships are the norm.

I understand all the words, they just don’t make sense together like that.

16

I watched a show on multiple spouses on the History Channel a few weeks. There is a term for a woman having more than one husband. It’s called polyandry, and it’s very rare.

Before I moved back home and settled down a bit, I had several boyfriends at the same time. They knew about the others, and aside from them being a little jealous at times, and a lot of scheduling on my part, it worked out OK. (Well, it worked out OK until one wanted me exclusively.) In fact, I even had several threesomes that were throughly enjoyable (safe sex, people, always).

Now these relationships were nowhere near the committment of marriage. They were, however, long-term. Two of the "him"em members moved in with me. That lasted only two weeks. The bickering was constant. We went through cycles where one man would demand to be the “favorite” and thus want our relationship to be exclusive. I would try it for a few months (once as long as a year), and I would sadly realize that I just wasn’t a one-man woman.

I do believe that it is possible to love more than one man at the same time, but eventually one will be loved more than the others. It just happened that the males that demanded to be favorite weren’t my favorite at all.

I have since moved. My "him"em has, for the most part, disbanded. I hope that I have finally grown into a one-man kind of woman. I’m going to see the one I loved above all others next month. We’ll see.

Until I know for sure, I won’t accept an offer of engagement. I feel that men who are not one-woman men, should do the same. It would save a lot of monogamous people heartache if those of us who cannot love only one person would just stay unmarried and leave the monogamy to the monogamous.

17

Come one Cher3, wrack your brain. Do you remember if it was a large country or an island somewhere in the ocean? Do you remember what letter than name started with? Give me something to work with, girl. :slight_smile:

I have another serious question. I have three kids who are 9, 16, and 18 years old. If I ever lucked out and found this type of relationship, I would make sure my kids understood that it wasn’t something I was doing for a sexual need. I would hope that I could teach them my belief that love has wider boundaries than most people consider.

I think I would have a really hard time pulling this off considering my double standard when it comes to F M F.

18

Okay, I did some hunting. It was Tibet, but it doesn’t sound like a picnic. Here you go:
http://daphne.palomar.edu/marriage/marriage_2.htm

19

Good point, kunilou, though I do think there are some people who would be able to enjoy the situation.

I would expect women to be more open to multiple female relationships than men to multiple male relationships. That is, I’d expect more women are willing to share. Certainly not all, or even very many women would be willing to share, I just think there’d be more.

This is mainly just a gut reaction, but I can of course make up a logical reason for it - women’s reproductive resources are scarcer than men’s, so there is competition for women more than for men. Or am I talking out of my ass? :slight_smile:

I’d give my left buns-cheek for a Wally sig.

20

Not necessarily. You’d just have to acknowledge that there IS a sexual component, and your preferences run to men.

By the way, do the husbands in your little triad sleep with each other too? What if they wanted some quality time alone…would you deal with that any better than sharing one husband with another wife?

Live a Lush Life
Da Chef