I know I couldn’t stand a FMF relationship just because of the type of person I am. I would never, ever, ever, expect any partner of mine to accept a MFM relationship unless they were 100 percent willing.
I also wonder if I am, as the old cliche goes, not being careful for what I wish for, as it may come true. Even though this is something that I would love to try, I do wonder if I am maybe not clearly seeing all the problems that may come with it. Everyone involved would have to be totally committed to making it work and not capable of jealous reactions.
I am probably going to sound selfish and unreasonable, I admit it.
In my perfect world, I would want the men to be very close and trusting with one another. I would want them to be able to embrace, kiss and show affection freely, as well as spend quality time together, away from me, this would include sexual encounters. That would all be part of the extreme trust that we would have to have.
I know that my own personal feelings would not allow me to have the same type of trust if one of the partners were female. I can’t tell you why, but that’s just the way it is.
I am usually not threatened by other women, in fact, I love to point out good looking or nice bodies to men I date. I even enjoy talking about their fantasies that involve other women. It doesn’t threaten me in the least. But a lifestyle that would involve much more than sex would make me feel threatened for some reason. Maybe it is losing the “woman of the house” title, I dunno.
FYI: I was in a commune in San Francisco that practiced “polyfidelity” (being exclusive within a group, rather than within a couple). I was in a group with 10 men and 10 women, all straight. Each person was sexual with all the members of the opposite sex.
I had some problems with the group (which is why I’m not in it anymore) but few problems with the sexual arrangements.
However, the lifestyle didn’t turn out to be stable. The commune broke up about 10 years ago, an at this reading all the former members are either single or in monogamous couple relationships.
I haven’t been hooked into the rooms lately, but a few years ago I chatted briefly in #polyfidelity on IRC. That board might still be open.
I myself swing “both ways,” i.e. monogamous and non-monogamous (I’m straight, though ;)). I’ve been in almost every type of non-coercive and non-fraudulent heterosexual relationship there is: polyfidelity, monogamy (including marriage), a secondary to a married woman (also sleeping with her husbands lover), polyamory (multiple lovers with no requirements of exclusivity). About the only lifestyle I haven’t been in is a huge “stranger sex”/free-love style group, such as the Oregon commune of the Rolls-Royce-riding Indian guru whose name escapes me at the moment.
My only requirement is (other than non-coercion and non-fraud) that if my parter(s) want(s) the structure of the relationship to change, I want to negotiate it beforehand, and reserve the right to end the relationship if I don’t like the new structure.
Quick question: Are these two guys bisexual? Do they get along extra special with eachother too? This would throw another level into it. If they are into each other too, that would help with the jeolousy…
Second question: If you aren’t into F M F, how about F M F M?
Did someone call for me?
Honey, ask away.
I will describe my men for you. My husband is a military man very concervitive in his day to day beliefs.
My other man is a party kind of guy. Funny as hell and fun to be around. As a matter of fact I just got back from going out dancing with him tonite.
My husband doesn’t dance, so when I want to go he is more than happy that the other does.
They have been best friends for almost 30 years. My husband has short hair, and the other has long hair. They have the same build body wise.
I never know from one moment to the next what to expect.
My husband and I have five children together, and our third has four. So I wouldn’t worry about the kids. Ours really just think that we are all great, and they have three people to turn to. I have mentioned before that I am also best friend with my husbands first wife, so that gives the kids a total of five people looking out for them. That brings the kid total to 13.
Our third doesn’t live with us anymore. He used to, and the funny thing is that when he lived with us none of us knew that we were going to be where we are today.
I am not sure what else you want to know, but just be direct and to the point and I will answer anything honestly.
Chef, I am headed over to your thread now to check things out and see if you answered my question!
