Once, at a Florida SF convention or a Mensa event, I forget which, I met a guy in studded leather, etc., named “Shadowfax,” who was giving a presentation on the above, and he mentioned that he was a “professional master,” and advertised himself as such and charged money for his services. The law allows him to do so, and does not consider it prostitution, because he never takes his pants off during a session, nor touches the client’s genitals.
Got me to thinking: Is all this stuff a “sex” kick at all, or is it a sensual/emotional kick of an entirely different nature?
Yes.
No.
Depends on the individual really. For some people it’s a sexual thing and for other’s it isn’t. Plus of course there’s no guarantee that because somebody is into, say, being tied up that they also want other aspects of BDSM.
If you want more information then you could google ‘informed consent bdsm’ or ‘house of tanos’. The guy who runs those sites has a lot of interesting information and links.
Its definitely sexual, but so is a lap dance and thats not considered prostitution either.
There are some people who approach BDSM as a very sexual thing; there are other people who do not consider it sexual at all. In the time I’ve been peering at community discussions, the people in one camp tend to get testy when someone makes a statement about BDSM in general that indicates that the other is the only sort that exists …
Mistress Matisse, a professional dominatrix whose weblog I read, refers to herself as a sex worker. I imagine this fellow you’re talking about either doesn’t, or if he does get sexual jollies from his work keeps that private because it’s easier to make a living that way.
I am glad you asked this question because it is one of the great unanswered questions of my life and I have tried from an outsiders perspective to understand. The idea of paying a dominatrix to humiliate you, torture you, and yell at you while getting no direct sexual release boggles my mind. If a talent for all that stuff plus getting dressed up in expensive outfits and heels is what it takes to make it in that biz, I think my wife would be a natural.