Wanna bet??
Lose the ability to laugh at what goes on in places like this, and one will burn out real fast.
That’s not to say we don’t care. We treat the victims of violence with all the compassion we can muster.
But once you stand back from it, and the acute work is done, a lot of the situations are pretty damn funny, especially from an insider’s perspective.
A “Family Guy” reference:
Lois remarks: "Oh no! Chris will go to jail if I don’t do something! I’ve seen that Oz show on HBO! I know what goes on in those shower rooms!!
[Cut to jail shower room and inmates singing:]
Scrub scrub here!
Scrub scrub there!
Whether you’re white or bronze!
A man can wash a-nother man in the merry old land of oz!
Whoa, lets take a step back and look at this.
Why is there a Pirate in the shower?
Skill with sodomy is one thing but this is a Ninja we are talking about…
Another factor to consider is how many inmates the shower can hold at once, cuz help em’ all if a Viking is in there when the soap hit the floor and sodomy is in the air. I se it like this: Pirate makes a move for Ninja, Ninja does a spinning leg sweep taking the Pirate out, Viking gets excited and it’s on. 
What if Keller is in there and has not had any visits from Beecher in a while :eek: :eek: everybody gets it in the end if any soap hits the floor no matter who drops it.
This is a difficult one…who is the greatest “dropped the soap” sodomizer of all time?
Okay, here are some lyrics I made up (the the tune of Rock The Boat by The Hues Corporation]:
*There is only one thing on my mind
As I sit and while away my prison time
When the time to shower finally comes
I hope that I do not do something dumb
Drop the soap
Don’t drop the soap, baby
Drop the soap
Don’t you bend over
Drop the soap
Don’t drop the soap, baby
Drop the sooooooooaaaaaaaap…*
And these are by Ed Bluestone, with addtional words by me [to the tune of Jimmy Crack Corn]:
*Across the nation desparate me
Are languishing in the pen
No women they’ve seen for many a year
But if you listen, you will hear
Jimmy’s crack’s torn and I don’t care
Jimmy’s crack’s torn and I don’t care
Jimmy’s crack’s torn and I don’t care
The warden’s gone away! *
That, of course, should have been ‘desperate men’. :smack:
There’s another one I saw, Peter drops the soap and the other inmates just laugh at his inability to handle the soap.
Yeah, they’re usually hanging out in the yarrrrd.
Penis Ensues…
Ok, so I’m munching on some Skittles when I opened this thread. I’ve aspirated some Skittle juice now and I can’t stop laughing & hacking! That “yarrrrd” thing just about killed me!
I’ve always wondered about that when I drop my soap in the dorm showers (which are set up in stall-fashion, with curtains and everything.) I used to ignore it and go get more soap from my room, but then I realized that… it’s soap. It’s used to clean things. Surely, if I just rinse it off it should be fine, right?
There can perhaps be dark humor that is not immoral, such as the Oz parody on SNL in which Jerry Seinfeld discussed prison relationships much as he discussed relationships on his sitcom. What isn’t funny is the idea that prison rape itself is funny. These days, whenever a celebrity goes to prison there is almost always someone on TV who delivers a joke that basically amounts to, “Hey, X is going to prison. I bet he/she will be somebody’s bitch, and be raped. Isn’t than funny? Haha.” Those “jokes” are really digusting and shameful.
I think there’s a fine line between suggesting someone’s potential bitch status and hoping they actually get punked. The former can be funny if handled as an inuendo (no pun intended) but the latter certainly never is. I think if you can’t tell the difference, and there are a lot of people who can’t, then you need to stick with the chicken crossing the road jokes. As with any dark humor, once you let on that you’re not entirely in jest, then it’s no longer funny.
So, did you hear about that celebrity that went to prison?
His first day there he dropped the soap in the shower and this prison gang jumped him.
They raped him dozens of times and sodomized him with a baseball bat. Then they beat him up for a while and broke several of his bones. Then they got bored so they tied him up under the shower and turned the water on to all hot so he’d get real burned.
Finally the guard found him in the shower and asked him “What’s the name of the gang that did this to you?”
“The Aristocrats!”
I said that to my brother once. He said “OK, imagine Porky Pig raping Daffy Duck !”
I admit it, I laughed.
Your brother is George Carlin? wow.
I mean to mention this Carlin quote in another thread, but I could not remember the author. Now you just reminded me. Thanks.
I went to a boarding school for high school, and the dorm showers were gym-style: three nozzles, three drains, and a wall. To socialize the freshman into this (intimidating?) atmosphere, the seniors assigned to freshman dorms would take very long showers during shower times – forcing all of the freshmen to shower with someone bigger and more developed than them (so none of the freshmen would start thinking they could bully the others or make jokes about how someone was “tiny” or “bald” or whatever). This also let the seniors keep a roll of who was avoiding shower-time, so we could take them aside for The Talk.
To relieve the tension and boredom, we made jokes. For example, the senior who was taking the long shower would wait until a line of freshmen had formed for the other two nozzles and then drop the soap. He’d bend over away from the freshmen and loudly curse at his clumsiness: “Ah, F**K ME.”
Then stand back up, laughing hysterically, to see a line of freshmen faces:
:eek: :eek: 
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :rolleyes: :eek: :eek: :eek:
Don’t bother. Get original material! 
No, what’s the point? The reason clichés are repeated is because they work so well.
Empties a bucket of water on Polycarp’s head.
There is a plethora of reasons why a pirate might be in the shower:
Of course, whatever the reason for the pirate to be in the shower initially, if a sodomy opportunity presents itself…well, there’s damned sure going to be some jolly rogering. So you have this naked ninja showering; lathering up his smooth, hairless, lithe yet tautly muscular body when he drops the soap. I’d say that the results are inevitable. I believe it was Edward Teach who said “Aye maties, there’s no sodomy like sodomizing one o’ them shadow warriors! Pass the rum.”