Is finding an adult young enough to be your child attractive disgusting?

In My Humble Opinion
61

This is the sequence he’s suggesting:

At 20, a man marries a 40 year-old woman, fucks her like crazy, plays a minimal role in raising her kids, builds a career and divorces her at 40 to marry a 20 year old woman to have his own kids with. At 60, they divorce and he marries a 60 year old woman.

At 20, a woman marries a 40 year old man (who just divorced his now-60 year old first wife), has kids, raises them with that man, and divorces him at 40 to marry a 20 year old for the fucking. At 60, she divorces him (because he’s ready for a 20 year old to have his own kids with) and marries a 60 year old man who just divorced his 40 year old wife.

It all makes sense except it totally ignores human nature and emotions and the idea of forging a family. It rather reminds me of Thomas More’s Utopia, where he satirically suggested all families have the number of children leveled out by taking them from families with more and giving them to families with fewer.

I do think men should be especially careful not to leer at girls significantly younger than they. It’s embarrassing and uncomfortable to realize a man your dad’s age is imagining you naked.

I also think men who go out of there way to assert that they find young girls as a class highly attractive are creepy and weird. I work with a guy who endlessly shares barely-legal NSFW cheesecake on Facebook. I don’t think he’s wrong for finding any particular girl attractive, but I think it’s creepy as hell that he’s proud of the fact that he likes very young looking women and that he wants to make sure other people know this–it’s like he thinks it boosts his man cred. And he teaches high school, which makes it worse. I

In the same vein, if a group of men are talking about women they find attractive (as men sometimes do), I don’t think it would be cool to mention 18-20 year olds that were real people known by people in the group. It’s okay to think they are hot. It’s not okay to kind of offer them up to the group for sexual consideration (especially not if you do it a lot, with a lot of different girls).

62

Heck yeah.

kayaker, I don’t know if you’re male or female, but if you’re female that was even more inappropriate.

63

checks

Male.

64

Not all of us.

And attractiveness is just an observation, not a call to action.

65

When I was 52, my younger brother was 46, my oldest child was 29, his oldest was 20, and he married a gal 31.

I was kind of skeeved out by that, realizing my oldest could be dating her and also because brother and I are close in age. My wife was, too. His wife is great, don’t get me wrong, it’s the age comparisons.

66

I didn’t need that picture, but I’m glad all the right parts are in the right places.

Still, that was skeevy. If that happened to me, I would have told the fucker off. Or at least I’d like to think that. Depends on the situation, of course.

67

Like it was yesterday, I remember seeing a young woman who was wearing (a) the sweatshirt of the college she was attending, and (b) ridiculously short shorts.

She had great legs. She had a cute face. She was objectively good-looking. She was accompanied by, and talking excitedly with, her mother. And I caught myself thinking, kid, please, stop blocking my view of a much more attractive woman.

I then thought, for the first time in my life, well, now I’m old.

(Having said that, I can’t readily imagine finding Jennifer-Lawrence-as-she-is-now to be unattractive no matter how many more years I put on.)

68

Their immaturity might not be appealing to an older person, but as long as they are an adult, do whatever makes you happy.

69

Jeez, I’m 40, not dead. I find Daniel Radcliffe attractive and he’s 26 - not quite young enough to be my kid, not easily.

But a lot of the really young ones look too young to me. All of those kids in the Divergent series, for example - there is a sort of unfinished look to them and so I don’t feel the same way. But I would not feel skeeved out if I found one of them hot, not even if I found one of them hot enough to want to fuck…as long as I don’t actually fuck them.

Nothing wrong with thinking about it!

70

We can look at the menu, as long as we don’t order, eh? And, I say yes to that.

71

I’ll paraphrase this, but when I go to a museum, I admire the art. I don’t rip it down off the wall and take it home and hump it.

TB perfectly honest, I don’t really have a problem with age-disparate relationships provided everyone is over the age of consent and it’s above board. Dan Savage recommends the campground rule - leave the place in better condition than you found it. Same here. If you are going to be the older person in a relationship, it behooves you to remember that and act like it.

72

Yeah, I don’t think your problem is the age of the ogled, to be honest. I firmly believe there is nothing wrong with appreciating beauty when you see it, regardless of age. That said, you’re a grown man and should not be overtly ogling women on the street. Regardless of their ages or states of dress.

Note: I’m not saying you shouldn’t have appreciated how lovely she was, but to visibly ogle is crass. To do so while in the company of another woman is not classy.

Sorry, but I don’t hang with men who behave this way because I find it immature.

73

I had a coworker who was fixated on breasts. This, in a white collar, cubicle farm office where every one of us worked at a PC in their cube (so, not something like a coal mine where there are locker rooms, mens and womens).

He could NOT control his eyeballs, no matter what. The office ladies (yes they were pretty, young, curvy) were dressed conservatively, no tight t-shirts without a bra, usually nothing even suggestive, that kind of thing. They wanted to say, Hey Craig, my eyes are UP HERE, y’know. (not his real name)

Anyway it was so bad that many female coworkers would ask me what’s up with Craig? It was pretty bad, but, not bordering on obnoxiously creepy. He was a child, he acted like a child, and the women considered him harmless. I’m pretty sure, based on my knowledge, that none of the ladies worried about their safety. So at least we weren’t dealing with a total creep, but merely a 12 year old trapped in a 30-something body. Craig is now 50-something and he STILL does this. I’ve seen him from time to time.

He would, of course, talk about racks (not his favored descriptor) among the guys. We never encouraged it. At one point out of the blue he said about my then girlfriend, hey, she’s got a nice rack.

:shook head, walked away:

(But he was right. She did.)

Anyway just before he was leaving the company, at our annual party where we have good-humored presentations, some bordering on inappropriate (Silicon Valley startup, a great and fun environment), the year summary presentation had one slide showing ample cleavage with the caption,

“Craig, thanks for the mammaries.”

While I understand the authors who thought he deserved that, still, that was in poor taste.

Back to when the ladies would ask me, What’s up with Craig? I would say that my theory, that he was an only child, and his mother had an ample bosom and breast-fed him through puberty, stopping only at HS graduation. It was a ridiculous theory, but about the only thing I could think of that would explain Craig’s behavior.

Wow, sorry this was so long.

74

LOL I like that and may use it!

75

Maybe you don’t mean this, but I do think it’s wrong to look with lust at a clearly underage girl. Appreciating a lovely, pretty girl is one thing, but wanting to jump her bones is another, and wrong.

Overtly oggling is wrong no matter where or when*. There are stealthy ways to admire the artwork.

    • Unless it’s at a strip joint or titty bar or wet t-shirt contest or other obvious Yes Please Ogle place.
76

I don’t understand this. I’m going to pick on you a little, because you shared your story. Why do men not stand up and say “Craig, this behavior of yours is not appropriate, and I don’t care to discuss it.” Before you roll your eyes, know that I have done it - we had a coworker who always used to imply that some men and women (and she was a woman) in certain positions got there by sucking dick. I find this really crass and offensive, who knows how hard they worked to get there? So I told her:

I don’t care for this talk, and I would appreciate it if you didn’t talk like this in front of me.

One more time she started in on it and stopped herself and laughed and said “Anaamika doesn’t like this sort of talk”, and after that, I never heard it again.

If more men stood up and said, dude this isn’t right, those are human beings too, then maybe sometimes some of it would stop.
I remember going to a Doctor Who meetup and being driven away by a 45 YO engineer who would not stop looking at my tits. Men, when a woman has her arms crossed across her chest and is backing away and looking away from you and trying to get out of the conversation TAKE THE FUCKING HINT. Don’t tell me you can’t read women, we’re human too.

77

How about if the women who were offended by his behavior spoke up for themselves? Instead of dragging an uninvolved man into the whole thing as though we’re back in Victorian times where the women are too delicate and need a MAN to handle all their problems.

78

So, she’s 25 now?

79

Well I certainly hope it isn’t too creepy, because I enjoy looking at a healthy, attractive, younger member of the opposite sex quite a bit. These days, at 60, it’s more of an academic pleasure, and I have no desire to act on such an attraction. But beauty is beauty, whether it be a work of created art or a work of Mother Nature’s art.

80

Looking is ok. Leering and overtly ogling, not so much.