I was going to say “traumatic”, but I’m not sure if that is the right word.
I just saw a picture of one of my friends from high school who I have not seen in some years. High-school stud, most popular kid in school, lots of girlfriends, and typically handsome.
Now, he’s bald completely(at age 33). I mean, I can see a thin ring of hair around the back of his head, but the top and most of the upper-sides are totally bald.
I actually felt really bad for him. Bald doesn’t work for him at all.
It got me thinking. Is it painful emotionally to lose your hair? How did guys here handle it when it began? How did you notice? How quickly(or slowly) did it occur over?
I’d love to hear what anyone has to say. I assume it depends on the guy, obviously, but I’d love to hear your stories.
My hair was always thin, and I developed a noticeable bald spot in my mid-20s. Now I’m pretty much shiny on top. Let’s say it was a little jarring when I realized I was seeing scalp in the mirror, but it didn’t damage me emotionally.
As for “handling it,” I tried a different hairstyle for awhile to conceal it (ok, ok, a combover) but I fairly quickly decided to hell with it.
I kept my hair longer than most of the men in my family. I had a noticeably receding hairline by my late 20s. I was pretty much expecting it so that was a plus.
I understand how men fool themselves into thinking a “combover” looks decent. One day, while combing my hair I noticed my part had begun creeping towards my left ear. That same day I went out and had a buzz cut. I haven’t looked back since. These days, 20 odd years later I’m mostly shaved down smooth. Most people think the look is good for me.
Is it emotionally difficult? It wasn’t for me, but everyone is different.
Depends what you mean by “difficult”. I suppose it’s a bit like putting on significant weight - it’s generally considered unattractive, and it’s kinda hard to hide. So, you get to look in the mirror everyday and see how ugly you’re getting. But that’s not the sole pillar of one’s self-esteem (I hope).
I would say that going bald has negative emotional consequences in many cases, but they are overwhelmed by more significant factors that influence one’s emotional state. If you have a good job and good friends, balding is just a drop in the “we all get old” bucket.
I’m 29 and have been noticeably balding for at least the past few years.
Sorry BlackKnight, but I’m going to seriously disagree with this sentiment. I really don’t think it’s considered unattractive by most people and if you look in the mirror and it makes you think you’re getting uglier, please don’t consider that to be the norm for balding folks.
I’m 42 and have been losing my hair since about 20. I had some issues with it until I turned 30 or so but have gradually come to accept it and actually prefer it now and wouldn’t grow the hair back if I could. Except I hate having to wear a hat in the summer all the time. Sunburn on that sensitive skin is a bitch. Oh yeah, and there’s nothing there to warn you that you’re about to bump into the kitchen cabinets or any other head-height object.
Also, I’ve had more than one woman who showed interest in me tell me later that she first was attracted to me because of my shiny, shiny head. So it’s paid off a couple of times for me at least.
Mark
Never really bothered me. It is what it is and I’m not so vain as to be worried about it.
I had super thick hair. It started thinning in my late 20’s and I started to go bald fairly rapidly from there. By my early to mid 30’s, I was about where I am now, which is bald(ing) looking on top, but some hair and not the total cueball look.
My father always had a hairpiece and worked fairly hard to keep it up, looking good and up to date. Then one day, I was visiting back at their church (which I hadn’t been to in years) when one of my father’s friends asked me if I was going to get a hairpiece. I said no, that I had no issues with being bald. I think the answer shocked my father more than it surprised his friend. Within about a year, my father let go of his hairpiece and hasn’t worn one since.
Nowadays I smile when you see guys with the shaved heads and you can kinda see the male pattern baldness hairline on their head. “Gosh, I don’t have to worry about being bald, this is just a HAIR STYLE!!!”
My mom’s brother was killed in an automobile accident when I was five. I don’t remember him at all, but I’ve been told that he was bald. Me, the hair isn’t completely gone, but it’s pretty thin on top.
For me, yes. I wore my hair long for a long time, and liked it that way. One day I was getting out of a pool and noticed how much bare was showing between the wet strands. So, not wanting to be a Combover Charlie, I started shortening my hair.
I’ve had a hard time dealing with it. Of course, I didn’t notice it myself first. I had a professor in my department pop into my office one day and ask to see me in his office. I’m a doctoral student, so when I heard that, I thought “Shit. I’m in trouble for something.” It turns out that he just wanted to tell me that he’s noticed my hair getting thin, and that he used Propecia that he gets from an online pharmacy. He asked if I wanted the link.
Then I read up on Propecia. It turns out it can shrink the prostate and cause impotence. Weird. The drug that can help you keep your hair can take away one of your reasons to keep it in the first place.
Both of my grandfathers and my father went bald on top in their 30s. I’m starting down that road, but I always knew I would with my family’s history. Personally, I’m ok with it because my hair has almost always sucked. I have dry straw-like and straw colored hair that never looked good. Not thin, but never thick - I could never do anything with it. So, I kept it short or buzzed most of the time. When I was an undergrad, I tried to grow it out into my first mop top since the 80s, but it lacked the required thickness . A head of hair that’s sort of thin and flat doesn’t work for that look. So, I pretty much just buzz my head these days. Shaving it is a pain, and seems like too much effort, and it draws attention were I’d prefer to fly under the radar.
As a trade off, I did get some great beard and mustache growing genes. When I first grew it out, I was surprised at how much red was in there too.
I’m very similar. I didn’t have particularly bad acne, but it wasn’t nice and my hair started going when I was 18 as well. The first of my peer group. For years I could say that not a single woman had ever made a joke about me losing my hair (although that is now up to about two women and I am now 36). Just about every male in my social circle has made a joke about it at some point.
It does get to you, especially when you are at university trying to meet girls when at every step of the way your “friends” are chipping away at the little confidence you have left.
Oh and I grew up in the UK and have red hair. For various reasons in the UK this means you are open to abuse all the time.
I’m now going grey at the sides.
I swear, if there is a God, he must really, really hate me.
Oh contraire! You’re not losing hair, you’re gaining face!
Maternal grandfather was cue ball bald by age 25, as was maternal great grandfather, so I did OK to last until 30.
At 25 I had less hair than my father, and yet my sons will die with a full head of hair.
That’s just the genetic hand you are dealt!
Favourite saying from maternal grandmother “There’s only one thing that stops falling hair … floorboards”
Not difficult at all. Started seriously thinning in my 20s but it seems to have slowed - don’t know if it’s stopped or what, but I seem to be holding at ‘balding’. Definitely keep a sharp eye on the part in my hair and it’s still high above my left ear. I keep it short - a haircut every 2 months, though I might benefit from more frequent clippings.
I like hats so I find stuff that I think looks good on me, and I try to give a little attention to how I dress, so it takes my attention away from what’s going on up there. Plus I got an awesome mustache and goatee.
So no, not emotionally difficult. But that’s because I don’t focus on my hair more than washing it frequently and making sure it doesn’t get too long.
I started losing my hair at a pretty early age – maybe 23 or so – and yeah, it did bother me. Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. A few years ago I decided to cut it shorter and shorter, until the day I decided to just own it and go completely cue ball. I’m happier now than I’ve been since high school with my hair. It’s a look that looks good on me and I save money on both barbers and shampoo.
Imagine my surprise a few months ago when some Dopers said that balding men who shave their heads are just trying to cover up their bald spots and are lying to the world. There’s no escaping being judged, I guess.
I started losing my hair fairly rapidly at around 16. By the age of 20 it had started to look pretty ridiculous so I shaved it all off and have been doing that ever since - I’m 33 now.
I can’t say it really bothered me at the time - I wasn’t particularly in love with my hair so losing it never bothered me. My advice to fellow baldies on starting to lose hair would be to recognise that it’s happening, come to terms with it and, unless you’ve got an oddly misshapen skull, get rid of it. Attempts to cover up are never successful, and look far worse than a shiny dome.
