No. Those are the accidental ones. I’m talking about the guys who slightly raise one leg, angle their butt, and scrunch up their faces as they strain to crank out an extra loud stinker. Then, in the most insincere of voices proclaim, “I couldn’t help it, it’s a natural body function!”
Those guys deserve some sort of punishment. A cold, disgusted stare doesn’t do it. They thrive on that.
Either way, it’s comming out. You can’t makes laws on that just because a leg is lifted. But I guess in California they have.
Sooner or later I’m going to have to piss, but it doesn’t have to be on your Wheaties.
And no, we haven’t passed any laws on this. But we have some municipalities that have passed some pretty bizarre laws, so anything is possible.
Ah. PA is suffering from fly-over angst. Ignore it.
Outlaw farts and then only outlaws will…
Nope.
Ah, but you’ve missed the point. The body movement, the facial expression, the tone, and duration is all part of The Art of the Fart. A true professor of flatulence has a varied repertoire, including a high pitched trouser oboe tone, the sharp ‘tearing canvas’ delivery, as well as the ever-amusing ‘dog-growling-under-the-couch’ rumble.
Afford them the respect they so richly deserve-they got game! 
Could we get ‘Pull my Finger’ accepted as an Olympic event?
Quote:
Originally posted by Gary T:
Not all farts can be held. It would be like making it illegal to cough.
I have no control over my farts about 50 percent of the time. They just come out of their own volition. Would that make me eligible for arrest? I certainly hope not! But yeah, those people who screw their faces up and angle it towards you, yeah, those people oughta serve the time… Let’s all line them up and “fire” at 'em! 
Hard to imagine getting a grip on any of 'em.
It is said that the sound of a homosexual persons fart is…
Pffttt.
Well, in my opinion, outlawing farts would be against the 1st amendment.
Because farts are just jokes that come out of your ass.
Yes, I know, there are some of you who would invoke the 2nd amendment with regard to some farts, but I’m talking about all farts.
Considering the barrel diameter of your average tank cannon, that sounds awfully painful.
Particularly with the rifling.
What did one burp say to the other burp?
Let’s be stinkers and sneak out the back.
What’s all this about lighting a match? While it may be de riguer for drunken fraternity brothers at 3AM to take turns actually igniting their flatulence, how does a small flame in the vicinity of an already-loosed fart help?
I can’t wait until a lawyer, in full open court, posits the “he who smelt it dealt it” gambit to foil the prosecuting attorney’s “he who denied it supplied it” defense.
God I love this country.
It doesn’t, according to Dr. Fart:
http://archive.salon.com/health/feature/2000/02/24/farts/print.html
It’s not the flame, but the odor from extinguishing the match.
Presumably the burnt sulfur odor from the match overpowers the hydrogen sulfide stink from the flatus.