Mr2U, Mini2U and Missy2U have just moved into a very nice townhouse as the house we were renting was sold out from under us (long story, no one cares, moving on).
Mr2U is a big old strong hefty GUY - capable of moving furniture. Capable of lifting large boxes of books. Capable of doing GUY things. And capable of getting loaded on Old Style and then, for some reason, decorating.
Does Mr2U get loaded, burp, and then go turn wrenches (or do some other manly type activity) like NORMAL men? No. Mr2U gets drunk and then decorates.
Does he put his dresser in the bedroom where it is supposed to be? No, he hangs pictures.
Does he put up the bookshelves and then put the boxes of books in the third bedroom? No, he hangs mirrors.
Does he start emptying and then organizing the freaking garage of all the crap he felt he needed to bring with us when we moved from the old place (because we all know there will NEVER be enough wood scraps to go around for everyone, right?) :rolleyes:
He does this after I go to bed at night, meaning I wake up in the morning, and my living room looks like Pee Wee decorated the playhouse WHILE ON CRACK.
I AM FED THE FUCK UP! STOP HANGING SHIT ON THE WALLS YOU ADDLE-BRAINED MONKEYFUCK, or I swear by all that’s holy, I will go so Martha Stewart on your ass, you won’t be able to say “it’s a good thing” without feeling MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF PAIN.
He didn’t want to do all that heavy lifting while you were asleep because the noise might wake you up. So, being such a nice guy and all, he helped you out with the less-noisy decorating stuff instead of just being a drunken lump.
See? Makes perfect sense!
BTW, you can never have enough scraps of wood or enough random nuts, bolts and screws.
So basically for taking some initiative and trying to help set things up in your new home, your husband gets called an “addle-brained monkeyfuck”? If that’s the thanks he gets, no wonder he does’t feel like throwing his back out moving heavy boxes for you.
When someone comes onto a public message board and refers to their spouse as a monkeyfuck, I think I have all the information about the situation that I need.
Awww, {{{Missy2U}}}. [giggle] I wonder if your hubby just has a yearning deep down inside to be artistic and to have some say in how the house is decorated. When he’s sober, he just defers to your judgement because it’s not a typical manly thing to do to decorate the home, OR maybe when he’s sober, he just realizes that his taste isn’t as good as yours. Although, if he can recognize that his drunken efforts aren’t aesthetically pleasing, there must be hope for his taste when he’s sober. Maybe drinking just loosens up the nesting inhibitions he has when he’s sober. Don’t male birds help the female birds decorate the nest? I don’t know how much scientific evidence can be provided for this, but I’ve read or heard somewhere how alcohol helps some folks be more creative–sometimes in a productive manner, sometimes not. Why don’t you sit down and talk with him when he’s sober and see if he really does want some say in how the house is decorated. I’m not saying that you don’t do this or won’t because I don’t know y’all, but perhaps you both just need to communicate a little bit better about how you want to decorate the house and stuff. I mean what is his style? What colors does he like? How does it jibe with yours? Another tack to take is to give him a paint by the numbers kit or some other craft to work on for those times when he drinks too much. That way you’ll keep him from decorating the house. Break a leg with things, hon.
Celestina while it’s a good idea about getting him interested in something else that’s creative, let me put it this way - he has etching cream and has been eyeing my good crystal. I’m becoming scared.
In all seriousness, we have talked about how we want things - he just seems to have, well, way way way mixed it up. And now that I think about it, I don’t think the alcohol makes him more creative per se, it’s just that alcohol seems to make him want to play with tools and screw things into the wall. For example, in our eating area by the kitchen (it’s not the dining room, it’s the kitchen eating area if that makes sense) we have the original martini glass neon sign from the bar we met at (it closed and we got a bunch of “stuff”) but he hung it with a - well, best way I can describe it is that it’s a hanging type of apparatus - suited for what, I’m not sure - he doesn’t creatively decorate so much as he creatively hangs things…
And can someone tell me why I have four hubcaps from a 59 Rambler Cross Country Wagon hanging over my couch?
My husband does the same thing—only, he is sober at the time. Most the time I don’t mind, but honestly, we’re moving tomorrow and I fear what will happen in our new place.
ALso, he only does it when I’m asleep, so that i have a nice surprise to wake up to in the morning…
Missy, you mentioned “Old Style”, and that may be the root of the problem. Make him stop drinking the rotgut brew and give him some good beer. Maybe a couple of good German hefeweizens, Czech pilsners, or Belgian Ales, will improve his sense of style.
From painful experience, I can say that I can’t be trusted with power tools sober, much less on that rotgut Old Style (I prefer a Guinness meself), so it is definitely not a guy thing.
Besides, my wife has firm ideas about decorating, and better taste, so I’m here to follow order and do the heavy lifting.
Maybe drinking just loosens up the nesting inhibitions he has when he’s sober. Don’t male birds help the female birds decorate the nest? I don’t know how much scientific evidence can be provided for this, but I’ve read or heard somewhere how alcohol helps some folks be more creative–sometimes in a productive manner, sometimes not. Why don’t you sit down and talk with him when he’s sober and see if he really does want some say in how the house is decorated. I’m not saying that you don’t do this or won’t because I don’t know y’all, but perhaps you both just need to communicate a little bit better about how you want to decorate the house and stuff. I mean what is his style? What colors does he like? How does it jibe with yours? Another tack to take is to give him a paint by the numbers kit or some other craft to work on for those times when he drinks too much. That way you’ll keep him from decorating the house. 