Well, it’s a little weirder than a 16 year old son sitting on Mom’s lap, which would actually be the appropriate comparison.
I for one would never assume that your family isn’t healthy and loving because you’re not snuggly. Please explain to me why you assume that the snuggly people aren’t healthy and loving.
I’m 40 and I still snuggle bug with my dad. I hope my daughters share a similar affection for their dad as they get older.
I think it’s kind of amusing that a board that is so liberal with things such as same sex marriage (which I agree should be legal and socially acceptable) can be so narrow minded when it comes to non-sexual relationships.
I never said that the snuggly people weren’t healthy or loving. Where did you see me assuming that?
Also, I’m thinking it is more typical that a teenage son is larger/taller/ganglier than his mother and couldn’t as easily physically sit on her that’s why I reversed the roles.
The opposite of mama is papa. The opposite of daddy is mommy. If Sampiro referred to his mother as mommy it would probably seem creepy.
What? Why? British people and Indian people both often call their mothers “Mummy” well into adulthood.
I am seriously skeeved out by all the people who assume affection is skeevy.
As someone else said, if he was calling her “mommy” I would definitely consider that creepy.
I would say if you’ve got a 16 year old daughter that will stay in the same room with you, chances are that you are doing something right in the child raising department…
Ha! How true is that. I got a Walkman chiefly because I didn’t want to stay in the same room as them, because they listened to old-fogey music. I liked their music, sometimes, but not all the time. So they got me a Walkman so I could listen to my music and would stay with them…I was supposed to keep one ear free so I could hear them talk.
“Whoooos your Daddy?”. (Sorry, someone had to say it).
I don’t see it as completely weird but it is a bit off the social norm. Particularly if it’s a regular event.
Calling one’s father “Daddy” is still fairly common in the South. Hell, even around here. It’s just spoken like a normal name, no cutesy inflection.
“Mommy,” however, doesn’t seem to come up too often with adults. It’s usually (ime) “Ma,” or “Mom.”
My 50 some odd year old uncle called his 80 yr old parents “Daddy” and “Mother,” whether he was speaking to them or about them. To him, those were simply the names used to address or indicate the person.
What is the manner of laps-sitting? Are we talking sitting on the knee, Santa-style, or a position which, unclothed, would resemble something quite different?
Well, I’m 37 yrs old. Occasionally I still perch on my daddy’s knee. I have done so since I was a baby. And yes, I still call him daddy. And no, nothing ever inappropriate ever happened.
34-year-old male here. If my mom were strong enough–which she isn’t these days, I’m sorry to say–I’d still sit on her lap. As it is, I put my arm(s) around her whenever I can. And I feel deeply sorry for anyone who is unable to see familial physical contact as a non-sexual expression of love.
As to the specific situation in the OP, I think MandaJO is right (as usual): From the little information provided, it sounds like the girl was flirting with SHAKES, not with her dad. But there’s really no telling without having been there.
“Mama” and “Daddy” are one Southernism they included in DALLAS- J.R. was TV’s top villain at the time and called his parents that without any self consciousness.
I don’t have any problem with the 16 y.o. sitting on her father’s lap as long as it’s a once-in-a-while thing and he doesn’t mind. It probably represents both security and mutual affection to her.
OTOH, I have a co-worker who’s 15 year old son is the clingiest thing I’ve ever seen where she’s concerned. His thigh always touches hers regardless of how much room is on the sofa, I’ve seen him take naps with his head on her shoulder, hold her hand walking through a parking lot, etc., and that bothers me big-time. He’s a normal looking kid (i.e. not the kind who’d be picked on for acne or too-fat/too-thin or just plug ugly) and is on a sports team, doesn’t seem especially insecure, his dad’s in the house and seems fine, but I’ve never seen a kid older than four that annoyingly affectionate with his mother- he just will not quit touching her when he’s in her presence. I’m from a family where it’s said we “hug before we go to the crapper in case we fall in and drown” [men and women or women and women- men and men not so much- very little physical affection twixt them in my family and never when there’s not a coffin in the room)so this isn’t a repulsion for physical affection in general- this particular case is just icky.
Of course supposedly Elvis had similar Mama Issues even when he was banging road chicks 7 a night. And some of the most powerful men in history did as well (FDR and Eleanor slept in separate bedrooms with his mother sleeping in the bedroom in between theirs, while Andrew Carnegie who was the equivalent of a multi-billionaire in today’s currency shared a bedroom with his mother, a miserly and miserable old Highlander named Margaret, until she died; he was 52 at the time and almost immediately proposed to his long-time mistress, Louise, who Mama Carnegie had actively belittled and attacked and openly despised for years. When their only child was born one of his associates joked that he was glad the kid was a girl because had he been a boy there was no doubt his name would still have been Margaret Carnegie II [which it was].)
They used Crime Library as a cite, though. That’s fairly reputable, isn’t it?
Yes, it is. They document sources, give links when possible, have biographies of their authors and whenever there has been an error (which happens with any reference source) they’ll have notifications that “X has been changed in the article K- click here for more info” with an explanation of what was changed and why it’s in error. It’s not wiki at all, the articles are assigned and very documented.
That’s not so creepy.
Ronald Reagan called his wife Mommy.
Now that’s creepy.
About a year ago I started a thread about an article I’d read in a parenting magazine which discussed kissing small children on the mouth. The article angle was that it was pretty much akin to pedophilia. Bullshit. I have two small boys (under 5) and I adore giving them kisses. Closed mouth kisses of course. I fear the day that they start thinking that affection from mom is icky or embarassing.
People are just too damn wound up. What, it is inappropriate for myself at 40 to give my dad a kiss when I haven’t seen him for three months. Of course not.
I assume the girl in question isn’t gyrating around or trying french kissing, but sheesh, your kid is your kid and you love them. I’m so sure that a nice pat-on-the-head will do wonders when they’re hurting either physically or emotionally. NOT.
I have an autographed comic from Bil Keane which continues to be my ever best favorite and it says “Sometimes when you hurt inside only a hug can help”. Envy me.
Of course you can hug her. Of course you can kiss her on the cheek. But as she matures the dynamics of your relationship changes. When they become women, you need to treat them as you would other women other than your wife.
I strongly disagree. That to me seems to totally minimize the father-daughter relationship.
There are many levels of familial intimacy. And they have nothing to do with sex. Physical intimacy, or being comfortable with closeness to another person is very important in a family setting, as is emotional intimacy, intellectual intimacy, etc.
Suddenly decreeing that because pubescence has begun that now your daughter is to be treated like any other non-spousal woman is, in my opinion, harmful.
I don’t think so. Unlike other women, with them, I expect to tell them every so often, “You know, darling, I love you more than anything I can think of. Sometimes I think when I’m with you I’m so happy I’m sure my head will explode” and such.
I would think my SO would be fine with my expressing such thoughts to my daughters (or else she’d better be looking for another SO)–in fact since I’m between SOs just now (and one of my daughters isn;t speaking to me just now), I could even tell my about-to-be 16 y.o. that she is my very favorite person on this planet, and not be creepy, not be lying, not be inappropriate.