[QUOTE=Indygrrl]
It’s creepy, and so is when a grown child still calls her father, “daddy.”
[/QUOTE]
Then you obviously aren’t from the South of the U.S.
My parents are “Momma” and “Daddy”, and I’ve never met anyone that expressed discomfort about it.
IMO, it’s the intent behind the act that should be in question and not the act itself. If she wants to sit on daddy’s lap because there is nowhere else to sit, she is getting a picture taken with him, she is giving him a hug, etc. than no biggy.
However, if she is trying to cop a feel (or vice versa) than it would be a problem.
I have an 11mo. old daughter. There’s a difference between being affectionate and teaching your daughter independence and not instilling a sort of Oedipus complex on your children.
We thought my Cockney psychologist was nuts himself when he said I seemed to have a Oedipus complex. Turns out he was telling me I simply don’t like cats that much.
[QUOTE=samm]
First of all, I don’t think I’ve read anyone say that no one over the age of 11.5 should ever sit on any family member for any reason whatsoever.
[/QUOTE]
Yep, we can agree that no one has written those words on this thread. Nor did I imply in any way that anyone had.
[QUOTE=samm]
And speaking of judging, why do you have to label everyone that doesn’t agree with you as having “dirty minds”? As other people have already pointed out: Some think it’s okay to bounce a baby on your knee, but not a teenager. Some people think it’s okay to bathe a toddler, and not bathe a teenager. Some think it’s okay to raspberry a toddler’s tummy, but not as okay to raspberry your mom. Even though there’s nothing sexual about blowing raspberries! Just because some people draw the line in a different place than you do, doesn’t mean they’re stinted, dirty, prudish or have serious issues. Sheesh.
[/QUOTE]
I was referring to those posts that clearly equated a teen-age girl sitting on her father’s lap as sexually inappropriate in all cases. I was referring to moral absolutists.
The reason it’s OK to bathe a baby is because the baby can’t bathe itself. There are teen-agers who cannot bathe themselves. Who bathes them, hired professionals? Nope, most of 'em are cared for by family members, and that means mothers and fathers.
Yes, I have issues. With moral absolutists. And yes, I do believe that moral absolutists are stinted, prudish and have serious issues.
[QUOTE=Wnabtokio]
Then you obviously aren’t from the South of the U.S.
My parents are “Momma” and “Daddy”, and I’ve never met anyone that expressed discomfort about it.
[/QUOTE]
I’m from Arkansas. I think it is creepy as hell. But when I hear people use those terms, I don’t mention it. Manners and all.
It sounds to me like the OP’s situation was more of a spoiled brat problem than a sexual problem. I would never have thought of manipulating my parents to give me cash at that age…I was given a set allowance, and that was it. 16 year olds are capable of managing money if they have too.
[QUOTE=jeffrice]
I was referring to those posts that clearly equated a teen-age girl sitting on her father’s lap as sexually inappropriate in all cases. I was referring to moral absolutists.
[/QUOTE]
Sorry, could you direct me to those posts in this thread then? I never saw them.
[QUOTE=samm]
Sorry, could you direct me to those posts in this thread then? I never saw them.
[/QUOTE]
Well, all right, let’s start with #8 in which the poster clearly states:
“I think it is totally inappropriate. I’ve raised three girls, and 16 is far too old. I’m not sure where the line is, I think we stopped that kind of thing maybe at 9 or 10 but once they start to mature there needs to be no more contact that would be intimate by any stretch of the imagination.”
And … let’s stop there, because I am completely wrong about the tilt of pro and con on this thread, and I’m just gonna’ shame-facedly admit it. It’s what I get for beginning a post, wandering away to do my job for an hour or so, then coming back to complete and file the post; meanwhile, there have been 30 more posts that I don’t see. And it wasn’t until I was re-reading the thread that I found post #53, which brought tears to my eyes.
So, you’re right, samm, I was wrong, and I am sorry – as nearly as I can tell, there’s only one stinted, prudish absolutist in the bunch. And you’re not it.
What!? What!? I apologized! Leave me alone now!
I would’ve found sitting on Qadgop’s lap rather weird when I was 16… of course, at 16, I was already about 5’9" and 145 pounds, and to me, that’s beyond sitting-on-lap size unless your dad’s Andre the Giant. But I’ll still hug him, give quick peck-kisses, rest my head on his shoulder… I mean, come on. He’s my dad. If I can have close, nonsexual touching with male friends of my own age (and I can, have, and will) I can certainly do the same with him. Even though we don’t need the other apes to pick bugs out of our fur anymore, touching is still important.
[QUOTE=elfbabe]
I would’ve found sitting on Qadgop’s lap rather weird when I was 16…
[/QUOTE]
So would I. Of course for me the fact that I’m male comes into play, and the fact that Qadgop is a complete stranger and he works in a prison in a northern state. The whole thing just would have seemed… icky.