This. 1) If for some reason (e.g. unexpected medical expenses) she can’t pay back, a rift can develop. 2) Big families can be thoughtless, especially when a big idea comes along at the last moment. How would she feel, OTOH, knowing now that others could afford it and want to do it but are refraining only because of her?
Skald, has Robin told them that the cruise won’t work for her? What did they say? Have you talked with the other cousins?
I’m happy to be an armchair analyst, but it seems to me that you’re only going to get a real understanding by talking to the people involved.
Put me on the side of “thoughtless, but not malicious.”
Either way, though, I think she should react politely but make other plans. “I’m so sorry that an Alaskan trip is far outside of my budget. I really wish I could be there, but I was budgeting for Florida. Since I’ve already set aside vacation time, I think I might go to Nashville for a few days.”
But less passive-aggressive.
I have a feeling that this is one of those cases of “don’t atribute to malice what can be explained by stupidity,” or simply to lack of information.
I know that my own siblings are off about my income by a factor that has been quite large at times; at one point SiL, assuming that since we’re both engineers I made as much as her brother, thought I made 10% of what I was making. The one that’s currently closest to the mark thinks I make half as much as I make. I’m not going to inform them in detail, as I know that would lead to them being even happier about letting me shore up Mom’s wallet hole.
There’s been other times when I was making minimum wage and they thought I made more…