In a couple weeks I’m going to a concert on a sunday night at a nearby college campus. Being a Sunday night, I’m unable to convince my wife to go. I have substantially more time off work than she does. Is it OK to go alone or will I stick out? Does anybody even notice if you are alone at an event? If I strike up a friendly conversation w/ somebody at the show, will it be creepy that I’m alone?
I’m not the most social guy and generally use my wife as my default date. But when she doesn’t want to do something w/ me (like see Grindhouse) it causes problems. I don’t usually have a back up date. Going to some movies alone is OK, but there are times where you want to share the experience. Happy ending, I did get her to go w/ me but I had to promise her the moon and the stars.
How about golfing alone? I’ve been on the other side (I’ve been in a 3-some and a single joined up) and it always seemed awkward for the 4th.
The other option is only going to wife-sanctioned events. I honestly don’t mind doing these things as a single, I just worry that I’m making someone else uncomfortable by being there alone thereby even further limiting my social abilities.
I just recently made a promise to myself (yet again) that I was going to enjoy my life and pursue things that interested me and if that meant I had to go it alone at times, then so be it. But putting that promise into action isn’t as easy as making the actual promise.
Well, then! that’s the important bit. Now I admit that I would have trouble going places alone, but I am just very awkward that way. Nope, I honestly don’t see that you will make others feel uncomfortable, really I don’t.
I would see the problem if your wife objected, but it does not sounds as though she does. So enjoy the concert.
All right, I can see that the golf thing might require company but, goodness, there must be a ton of people who find that spouse doesn’t like golf. Perhaps someone will come along with input about golf etiquette, but it aint me, babe. (Live in St. Andrews for a while and it would put you off golf for ever. )
You shouldn’t have to explain or justify why you are at an event alone, but sometimes I have noticed that if a person says something like “oh, my wife didn’t want to see Grindhouse” or “My wife has to work early tomorrow, but I couldn’t miss seeing this band!” if he should strike up a conversation, it gives a little context and can even fuel some idle chit chat. It’s like a social signal (especially to women) that says “I’m not looking to hook up, I’m just enjoying the movie/concert etc.”
(frankly, in this story, I am more likely to be cast as The Wife Who Wouldn’t See Grindhouse." My boss, of all people, just gave me flack for that!)
I got hooked on hockey several years before my husband got interested. I have season tickets, because of his work schedule, he doesn’t. So I go to lots of games alone - and have made some very good friends!
Go and enjoy the concert. There’s nothing creepy about it.
I don’t see it as creepy and I also do it all the time. Why should single people have to avoid social events? (I’m single, I recognize that you are not.)
I see nothing wrong with going to an event like a movie or concert or dinner out alone. Then again, I’m one of those people who go more for the experience of the movie or concert, and give fuck-all care to who is around me. It’s nice to go with somebody, be they SO or friend, so that you have something to do before and after the event (and, when there’s a concert, that interminable time between getting to your seat/spot and when the show actually starts), but there are plenty of other options. Chat up people around you; you know that you share an interest in whatever event is about to take place, so it’s a great starting point. Or bring a book, game boy, or some headphones, and just chill with your solitary self. If I’m eating alone (as I always do for lunch, and if I’m on travel, typically do for dinner), I bring whatever book I’m reading. It’s very relaxing.
I’m all for golfing alone. The worst that can happen is you get paired with a 2 or 3 some, and you can engage in some light chatter. Give it three or four holes of encouraging remarks to your fellow golfers, and usually they’ll take you in. The best part about golfing alone is that you can do it on a whim at so many courses where as a twosome or more, you’ll need reservations. You can just show up and fill out any group going out within a half hour.
A more specific question you should ask is, “Am I a creepy person?” If your answer is no, then being single at an event that doesn’t REQUIRE more than one person should not automatically make you creepy. Not eating alone at a restaurant, not going to a movie alone and not going to a concert alone.
Of course, you could be very awkward, but it really depends on your attitude and personality. If you go to the event purely just to have a good time, meet people and make friends you are very likely to come off as pretty cool. If you go to your event, hide in the corner because you think people will see you as creepy, poking your head out to look around (generally not being social in a social situation,) then yes you will call undue attention to yourself, portraying yourself in an unflattering light.
It’s not creepy unless you make a point of interacting with the women there. If there’s anything creepier than “guy on the prowl,” it is of course “married guy on the prowl.” Not that you can’t converse with women if the situation arises, but in general if you’re going to strike up a conversation, find guys or a mixed group.
I’m not single, but My Guy is often out of town on business. I go places alone (restaurants, concerts, movies, etc.) and don’t think anything of it. Why should this be a problem?
I’m off on Thursdays and Fridays so it’s a bargain for me to go in the afternoon when everybody else is at work. Not only are the ticket prices cheaper but I also don’t have to worry about people talking through the movie.
I remember one time when I went alone I was standing in line waiting to get my popcorn and soda. There was a lady in front of me who was alone as well. She weighed all of 90lbs and got the LARGE soda with a LARGE popcorn.
I jokingly said to myself: “Man, what a loser! She has to go to the movies by herself!”
The irony being that by those standards I too must be a loser.
Keep in mind this is coming from a guy who has absolutely NO problem with drinking alone. People tell me this is insanely pathetic.
I’m in the same boat as the OP. My husband doesn’t especially like going to the movies and really doesn’t like the movies I like. My problem is none of my friends do either.
I have a lot of interests that no one I know is interested in. Some things I don’t mind going to alone (of course I’d rather have somone go with me), but I’ve never been to a movie alone.
that’s the important bit. Now I admit that I would have trouble going places alone, but I am just very awkward that way. Nope, I honestly don’t see that you will make others feel uncomfortable, really I don’t.
)
My boss, of all people, just gave me flack for that!)