Is it mental illness if...?[Long]

In My Humble Opinion
1

Okay, this is a bit long and rambling, but bear with me, because I think this is an interesting question. To go ahead and summarize before I get started: Is it really mental illness if it doesn’t bother the person and doesn’t interfere with their ability to live within the social boundaries of society?

When I was fifteen my parents took me to a psychologist, because they thought I had ADD. This psychologist decided that I did have moderate ADD, and generalized social anxiety disorder, and clinical depression. He managed to figure this all out in one forty-five minute session with a grumpy teenager, which was rather remarkable. I thought he was full of crap, and eventually my parents stopped forcing me to go. About a year later they brought me to another therapist, this one counsellor rather than psychologist. She said she really didn’t disagree with the diagnoses, but saw I was not okay with the labels, so she dropped it.

Apparently I got marginally better - meaning I did get slightly better at acting. I don’t have many nor have I ever had many friends, and that does not bother me at all. Friends are nice enough to have, but honestly, I would be fine without them. Given the choice, I would absolutely prefer to be alone than with other people. I’m deeply introverted. As to whether or not I’m depressed…well, hell if I know, but I imagine that my not knowing means I’m not terribly wrapped up in being unhappy. I figured out how to act a bit more normally, got better at picking up on social cues, and my parents relaxed.

Then I had a rather rough first year of college, when I was 18. Over the summer, my parents made me again go back to the counsellor, trying to figure out why I was struggling in school. She again honored our agreement and didn’t delve into specific diagnoses, but I looked up the DSM code she wrote on some insurance paperwork, and apparently she had figured out that I had an adjustment disorder, unspecified type.

Which, once again, was absolute crap. My problem was not adjusting to college life, my problems were a combination of being academically unprepared for the program I was in and not actually having wanted to start college right after high school. I ended up taking a year off, did some things I wanted to do, and when I returned to school, my academic performance improved greatly, because I wanted to do it. Things have been fine: I’m doing decently academically, haven’t failed any more classes, things are fine.

Now, a ‘friend’ - and I’m using that term fairly loosely, because we’re not that close to begin with and I’m rather offended by her nosiness - has suggested that I seem like I need therapy because I’m ‘antisocial’. For starters, I’m not: while I’m certainly not social or outgoing, I don’t resent society or anything like that, I just prefer to be alone. Secondly, my behavior in no way harms anyone - I mean, I just for the most part have no effect on others. And thirdly, I told her that I’ve tried the therapy thing, and it’s useless for me. Maybe it works great for some people, but before it would do anything for me they’d have to prove to me that there’s something wrong, which, in my opinion, there’s not, so, useless.

Then she said that the fact that I drink alone is worrying. I don’t deny that I do so, but my drinking - be it alone or socially - averages to maybe three or four drinks per week: I’ll have a beer as I’m watching a movie or writing or something in the evening. I do this partly because I do enjoy the buzz, but mostly because I like the taste. My favorite drink, in fact, is that nefarious cocktail of “peppermint schnapps in a mug of hot chocolate as I curl up with a good book”. So, clearly, my drinking habit is out of control (hint: no). At that point I got fed up and walked away from her little one-woman intervention, because I was going to lose my temper.

So. I was all full of vitriol, and then I started thinking about it more academically. Is she right? If, according to the Official Standards, I have a mental illness, should I seek treatment regardless? Even if my ‘illness’ in no way adversely effects me nor anyone around me? Is it even an illness in this situation (fill in whichever ‘it’ you would like here, as clearly, there are plenty)? Please discuss, because I’m interested in opinions on the issue.

Also, please understand that no matter what people in this thread say, I’m not going to seek out therapy. I’m also not going to quit drinking, because there’s no reason to. In fact, as I’m writing this, I’m enjoying a bottle of State Pen Porter by the Santa Fe Brewing Company, and it’s quite lovely.

2

Well, I went to Wikipedia to check, as I know there’s a clear definition of these things, and sure enough there’s one:

Mental Impairment

So I guess, I’d say if you don’t feel at least 3 of those are being affected, then it’s not really a disability/impairment.
You might have a condition perhaps, but I wouldn’t call it an impairment or a disability then by those definitions.
I guess it’s more of how you feel about it, and the labels of such things. Some find it comforting to find out there’s a cause, and others not so much with the labels and all.

So I’d say if it worries you get it checked out, if not and you don’t feel it impairs you- maybe get one or two opinions from close friends and such and see what they think (since you’ve already stated that this person isn’t really that much of a friend to you).
And then, if it’s all good, then don’t really worry about it and live your life happily as you desire (as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone and all that other stuff).

But i’m not a psychologist, nor even a psych major. So :shrug: listen to someone smarter than me on these things.

*EDIT TO ADD: of course, that’s Mental IMPAIRMENT. :smack: You’re talking about Mental ILLNESS. Hmm… that’s a bit trickier, but I do believe there is an aspect of it impairing your life in some way. Again- I’d ask those close to me to see if they notice anything unusual about my behavior and all. And then, I’d maybe go to a psychologist to see what’s going on. But then once again, i’d try to live my life as happily as I could. I’m just the sort of person who feels better knowing there’s a name for whatever ails me or if I’m quirky for a reason. But again- this is totally not my field of experience really.

3

Very interesting question… I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with preferring to be alone. This does not mean you’re “antisocial,” it means you’re comfortable and happy with yourself and you don’t need other people to make you happy. You’re much less likely to become lonely. You don’t have to rely on other people to be content. I think that is a good thing. However, other people - who are more “social” - can’t grasp the concept of being able to enjoy your own company, and being perfectly happy alone, so therefore they think something must be wrong with you. You’d rather sit home alone on a Saturday night?! Oh there MUST be something wrong with you! You must be depressed! WRONG! I hate that attitude.

Over the past year or so, I have become a lot more fond of spending time alone. I love it, but some of my friends and family think it’s weird. That’s not fair.

I think the major question is, are you content in your life? Do you feel “down?” Or do you just have fun chilling by yourself, and are perfectly content spending time alone?

I also think that a lot of parents will automatically label moody angsty teenagers as “depressed,” when really they’re just being normal teens. It sounds like that’s what happened to you.

4

To be honest, you don’t sound like you’re really looking for anyone to tell you anything you don’t want to hear. You’re preemptively defensive and have already made up your mind that you’re not going to seek any treatment anyway, so why are you bothering to ask? Frankly, it sounds like all you want is for people to validate you and tell you you’re fine. Why bother asking the question when you’re already saying, in so many words, that you aren’t going to listen to anyone who answers yes to your question.

If I read your account correctly, you’ve been formally diagnosed by a professional with an Adjustment Disorder. You dismiss that as “a bunch of crap,” because you’re “not having trouble adjusting to college life,” but Adjustment disorder has nothing to do with that. Why don’t you read up on it before deciding (with your complete lack of qualifications) that you don’t have it.

5

I’m a psych major, and while that doesn’t exactly give me any real credibility, I do know that we recently had a lot of focus on how difficult it is to define mental health and abnormality. It is a very interesting question, and while it’s hard to say if you’ll find a conclusive answer, I’d say that by the sound of your OP the only “problem” you’re really displaying is overexposure to people who don’t want to accept that you don’t have a problem. A killing spree would easily fix that.

6

Well I’m a psychology major, and I’ll tell you one thing. You definitely don’t have an antisocial personality disorder. The antisocial disorder is completely different than the common perception of “antisocial”, i.e. doesn’t like social gatherings. Some people are introverted and like spending time alone, it doesn’t make them ill.

From what I read, in my expert (read: no Master’s yet so I’m not certified) opinion I wouldn’t diagnose you with anything. Of course, you could be rationalizing some of your behavior to make yourself look better but from what you posted there it isn’t anything that I would consider bordering on disorders. Disorders usually affect people in a way that it significantly affects people around them or gives them a chance of harming themselves.

This is a good question and a not so good question. It’s a good question for if you’re worried about depression. If you’re not happy with your current lifestyle, it could be linked to depression. However, people with other mental disorders can be perfectly content with the way they live their life and not realize or want to admit they have a disorder. The best example I can think of is the narcissistic personality disorder: they already have a bloated idea of their own self-importance so they’re not going to think they have a disorder or not be satisfied with their lifestyle.

The biggest question I have as a psychology major is: why did you think the psychologist was full of crap as a teenager? I have another question, but it is just a curiousity of mine and completely hypothetical. If a regular doctor diagnosed you with a hormonal imbalance or something and said that’s what was causing your behavior, would you believe him or would you say he’s full of crap too? (I’m aware this isn’t the most correct science-y way of asking this question, but it’s just a hypothetical.)

7

I can’t say that you have a mental illness, or not.

What I will say is that while you may have traits that are similar to some forms of mental illness, you’re functioning in your daily life, and seem to be satisfied and happy. As long as those things remain true, I can’t see any benefit to labeling you as mentally ill. (BTW, for your nosy so-called friend: anti-social is only a problem if it’s keeping you from doing things you want to do.) I think that it might be reasonable to keep an eye on your mental thermometer, so to speak, as you may find as you get older what works for you, now, may not always work in the future.

But, for now, if you want to have your hot cocoa with peppermint schnapps while reading at home, go for it and don’t let any tell you otherwise.

8

I can’t comment on any illnesses or disorders, but I can comment that the State Pen is by far one of the best porters made in region. Good choice.

I’ll also chime in that I don’t think the drinking enters into anything at the level of your consumption. 95% plus of the people I maintain contact with have 3-4 drinks a night, and drink 1-3 nights a week. Probably more.

9

Well…then why are you writing this thread?

I don’t think wanting to be alone all the time is normal nor within the “social boundaries of society”. It is withdrawing from society. Even introverted people have a desire to form interpersonal relationships. They just might prefer a quiet afternoon of tea with a close friend over rolling a dozen deep into a club. It might be worthwhile to explore WHY you are content being so isolated.
Also, these things are behavioral or personality disorders, not mental illnesses.

10

**Psych Major’s please refrain from giving anecdotal information garnered from course lectures or personal experience in a classroom. As a (former) Psych. Prof who gave this disclaimer before starting classes: Many times while learning psychology students will feel and experience some of the symptoms associated with what we will be learning, this is a normal reaction and if it progresses please see me after class or consult the school guidance office.

Yes.

Many Mental illnesses do not bother the person they effect to a degree where they cannot function. Many people who decide not to seek help develop coping mechanisms that their brain deems satisfactory for their own mental illness. Now you debate that if you’d like, but your emotions fuel what you allow your brain to tell you, and clearly NinjaChick, you do not want to be labeled. Now not being labeled does not mean you do not have a mental illness. I would hope you understand that.

You are young, smart, articulate and function just fine to every outward appearance. I will say one thing about the alcohol consumption: be aware of it, and if it increases please seek assistance. The only one who knows if you are doing harm is you. However, looking at how much you do not like labels, and how much you do not want to admit something is bothering you, you appear to be at an impass.

You appear to not want any assistance with what is going on in your life at this time. There is nothing wrong with being anti-social. There is nothing wrong with having depression, anxiety, or any other mental illness. I’m not saying you do, but it would be wise to keep an eye on your emotions, and if you begin to feel overwhlemed, sad, distressed, angry, frustrated etc…etc… and then have a drink to quell those emotions, or “enjoy the buzz” then that is called self-medicating. And that is a precursor to alcoholism, and is one of the top factors in breeding alcoholism in young people.

Note: normal drinkers don’t question why they are drink.

In sum, if your parents have tryied placing you in therapy, and the counselors have decided not to label you to your face, then perhaps the problem is not in what the diagnosis says, but in how you feel about you. Many times the most difficult boundaries placed on a person are placed there by the individual themselves as mechanisms to fend off what other’s are saying and doing. A little slice of humble pie can fill you up with lot’s of welcomed positive emotions.

11

IANA Pshrink or student, but an engineer, so I’ll offer anecdotal experience freely.

My wife and I did some marital counseling a while ago, and I wound up getting talked into joining a men’s therapy group. The counselor said I was unable to relate emotionally to my wife. Well, I’m an engineer, so I live and breathe logic.

The whole group therapy experience was awful. More power, I guess, to guys who can do the emotional bit, but that’s not me. I finally quit when I decided that I liked me as I am, and I wasn’t about to change.

FWIW, I also waver between introvert and extrovert. I can and do function quite well as an outgoing person, but I like being alone and will revert to that as my natural home state of being.

Culturally, we’re supposed to be outgoing and social, not people who like to curl up with book and a snort of schnapps. That makes you different, but that doesn’t make you mentally ill. Screw the busybody and anyone else who won’t let you be who you are.

12

I will not comment on the mental illness aspect, as our local psych professor has done, as I’m not qualified to do so, but I will comment on the drinking. I feel more than qualified to do that, living in a family of alcoholics for 33 years.

My mom is a (still drinking, never admitted) alcoholic, as is her husband of 10 years. And her brother…and their father, my grandfather. My brother, who drinks daily when he gets home from work worries me, too. I have avoided drinking while alone for all of my adult years because, to me, it’s obviously a problem in my family. I do actually have rules for myself where drinking is concerned. (Never alone, never when depressed, always for a social purpose)

I am telling you this to say that if I were your friend in the RW I would advise that you stop drinking alone. My mom also only drinks because she enjoys the buzz. Oh yeah, and after seeing her dad with DTs in the hospital, I think she became afraid of that, too. She has to be ILL not to drink nightly. Drinking alone is supposed to be a precursor to alcoholism, and an alcoholic is someone that is never fully ok again. In my mind, a buzz isn’t worth the risk of that addiction.

13

Diagnosing oneself in ANY form of medicine, even if one is a properly trained professional, is tricky at best and stupid at worst. You’re just too close to the situation to spot all the signs and symptoms. With metal illness, it’s even worse, because 1. You’re like that frog in warming water - you’ve come to take small signs and compensations entirely for granted; you may have no idea what “normal” “healthy” or “functioning” actually mean and 2. because mental illness, by definition, affects the brain and thinking processes, you’re using a (possibly) broken tool to test itself. Imagine how effective an anti-virus software full of viruses would be.

I can’t answer for you, of course, but for myself, those days when I can honestly say to myself, “Huh. I think I’m slipping into a clinical depression again,” are the days when I’m most normal! When I’m actually depressed, I don’t remember that I have clinical depression, nor do I wonder if I’m in a depressive state. I don’t have the energy or ability to see how shitty I feel because I’m depressed!

Whether or not you have a mental illness, of course, is a different question from whether or not you should treat it. That, I think, is indeed best decided on an individual basis, and I’d agree with you that the rubric including how much it bothers you, whether it’s affecting your relationships, school work and employment are all good things to take into account. ETA: But you’re not the only person in your “relationships”. Obviously, your behavior was affecting your parents negatively, and now maybe your acquaintance as well. So it IS affecting your relationships.

It’s obvious you have strong feelings about labels, and that’s your choice as to whether you want to deal with it or not. I will say, in your counselor’s defense, that the insurance company won’t pay her unless she puts down a diagnosis code on the form and “adjustment disorder” is less likely than some diagnoses (like depression) to bite you in the ass later in life re: health insurance and employment. So I’d thank her for that, personally.

Personally, I think the “drinking alone means you’re an alcoholic” is bullshit. Drinking in moderation isn’t “drinking”. A single alcoholic beverage isn’t a problem, and only our oddly puritanical/prohibitionist culture labels it so. I’m entirely with you that, as long as you’re not drunk against your will (as an alcoholic would be) and it’s terribly infrequent by anyone’s standards, you’re probably fine. Sure, keep an eye on it. If you get to the point where you’re anxiously waiting all day to getting home to your hot chocolate, then maybe there’s an issue. :stuck_out_tongue:

The last thing that comes to mind is: for someone who’s happily isolated, you spend an awful lot of time on a social message board. You have a strong presence and personality here, and to all appearances have made relationships here. Why do you think you like doing that here and not with people in person?*

*Hi, Pot, it’s me, Kettle! But yeah, I’ve spent some time thinking about that; I just wonder if you have. Plus, you know, I embrace my labels. :wink:

14

NinjaChick except for the booze part this post could have been written by me. I don’t like to socialize and I am happiest when I am alone. I am self-supporting, as I work and pay my own bills. Is society missing something because I am not interacting with people very much? Am I? So what?

Is it strange to want to get exercise by walking instead of joining a gym? Or spending your days off reading and listening to music instead of going to a club. Seeing the movie on video instead of in a theatre?

I maintain that if an adult works pays their own way, and isn’t hurting anyone else, nobody has a right to criticize their lifestyle.

15

Jaade, I disagree with you about the dangers of drinking alone.

I don’t disagree that it can be a way for someone to hide their problem drinking, but it’s not automatically a problem in itself. What matters more is the pattern of that drinking, I think.

I’ve known people who find it harder to control their drinking in groups than when alone, so the idea that drinking is only safe when it’s social doesn’t work that way for everyone. Similarly, the idea of someone having 3-4 drinks a week, which is what the OP stated, is pretty benign. Even if all those drinks are being done in a solitary environment.

If we had other reason to doubt the accuracy of the OP, that would be one thing, but as it is, I don’t see any reason to assume that the OP’s description of her drinking is anything but accurate.

YMMV, of course. And what works for her may well be deadly to you. Just trying to emphasize that not everyone will fall into the patterns your family has shown you.

16

I have no idea if the OP has a mental illness or not, and wouldn’t try to guess.

I will say that extroverts tend to view introverts as dysfunctional just because they are introverts. The general response to a person who doesn’t want to travel in groups is “what’s wrong with you?”.

17

The OP says that she has been formally diagnosed with an adjustment disorder and nobody here is in any position to question that diagnosis, including the OP herself. Now, it can be debated whether her disorder constitutes “mental illnss,” but I don’t think it’s healthy to humor her in her denial of the diagnosis, especially since that diagnosis was made by a qualified professional who examined her personally, while all we have to go by is some self-reported internet posts of unknown reliability.

18

I was a psych major, but I’m not speaking as one.

I just want to second Diogenes’ remarks. You sound very defensive. It’s most likely nothing, but it did set off a red flag in my mind. This is probably because I also get defensive, and usually when I do it means something is bothering me heavily.

19

The councelor placed the code on an insurance form. The insurance form needs a code or the insurance won’t pay. Something has to go there to justify the cost. I’m not saying that the councelor didn’t diagnose her, asuming she was qualified to do so, I’m just saying that a code on an insurance form isn’t quite a diagnosis. It’s a councelor deciding that she wants to get paid and deciding that this code is a close enough match to key phrases from her notes to satisfy the insurance reviewers.

20

“Counselors” cannot formally and legally diagnose. Either the counselor got that diagnosis from a doctor (who may or may not have seen the OP) or she made it up whole cloth.

Still, point taken. We certainly can’t diagnose the OP either.