If you use my husband and me as data points, he’s definitely more expensive. He buys way more clothes than I do. He’s the one who bought a Harley (most recently) and assorted sports cars over the years. He’ll go out and buy something to eat rather than assemble the same thing at home. And his hobby is way more expensive than either of mine.
I don’t use cosmetics or perfume, I wear garments till they’re rags, I no longer own the car I loved because it didn’t make fiscal sense to me to keep it. I’m very aware of the prices of things we use regularly and I know what’s a good deal and what isn’t - he’ll get something if he wants it, regardless of price. And going all the way back to when we met and eloped - I paid for the license and the marryin’ fee!
Bottom line, as with many things related to one sex vs. the other: it depends on the individuals.
Seconded. I don’t know what women’s products associated with menstruation cost on a monthly basis, but I spend a shitload of money on razors (and a small extra amount for shaving cream).* Birth control expenditure is shared 50 / 50.
*Hair removal costs a bundle for many women, as well, though.
I think many women tend to waste a lot of money when it comes to clothes.
Here’s a typical conversation with my ex wife:
Wife: We’re going out with Frank and Rene this weekend… I still need to go out and buy something to wear.
Me: What do you mean buy something to wear? You have a walk in closet brimming with clothes.
Wife: I want something nice to wear for our night out.
Me: :smack:
I’ve had that conversation with more than one woman in my life.
Uh. We shave, too. And they try to charge us extra buck for the privilege of using a razor that’s pink.
I think all of you are nuts. The expectations for a professional woman are outrageous. In a month I might spend:
Two new work clothing items on sale at Banana Republic $175
Haircut and highlights $150
Replace one makeup item $25
Two manicures and one pedicure $75
Replace one skin care item $25
Replace one hair care item $12
One pair of shoes/bag/sunglasses/etc. $75
New bra and pair of undies (our undies get ruined quickly) $50
Razors $10
Prenatal vitamins $20
Period supplies $15
Pantyhose (they rip after a few wearing a) $15
Two eyebrow waxes $22
These are all basic mall-store prices for things that are expected of women in management. Discount stores and sales can cut prices, but I work too hard to spend two houses at TJ Maxx.
Now I skip a lot of these. I hate getting manicures and I’m bad at keeping my hair neat. And you can cheap out on one or two at a time. But if you walk into your office with Miss Clairol hair, Payless shoes, home-done nails and last seasons best dress from Target you are not going to be seen as professional.
I think the amazing lives of pretty women is vastly overstated. I’m not a knockout but I’ve lived in places where I was exotic enough to attract many, many suitors. Free drinks aren’t free- they come with expectations that you’ll make conversation with whatever rando bought it. Marrying a rich guy isn’t easy street. If you don’t have your own wealth, it can often mean giving up control of your life. Men who use their wealth to try to woo pretty girls tend not to be egalitarians. In the end, the stalking, trophy hunters, sexual harassers, workplace Romeos and other hassles make it easier and more pleasant to be on the plain side.
Or to put it another way- lots of you guys could get plenty of free dinners and drinks by banging out at your local gay bar. Does that sound like a life in paradise to you?
Do you seriously expect anyone to believe those are reasonable?
Manicure? Pedicure? Both are luxuries.
Two items of clothing a month? Who are you kidding? Once you’ve built up a wardrobe, rotate.
A haircut at $150? Come on. If you’re spending that sort of money, give yourself a buzz cut and get a wig.
Are you insane? Those prices are well out of whack of what the average person pays ($150 for a haircut… every month… really?). I don’t doubt that women spend more on “essentials,” but this thread is making me think that that’s only because many women have completely unrealistic expectations of what is essential.
Basically, what is wrong with clothes from middle-of-the-road retailers like Target?
However, I think shaving expenses are insignificant for men and women. It does seem to me that it is more expensive to be a women in our society. Even leaving out the crazy shit like manicures and pedicures, clothes, make-up, creams and lotions, etc, are way more for a woman than a man. I have a couple of expensive suits (along with dress shirts, ties, and shoes) but they don’t add up to nearly as much as a wardrobe for a woman who has to look “professional.” Plus, I can rotate through the same three or four suits for weeks at a time.
Are we really getting into the shaving thing when women are generally expected to shave their entire legs, and usually on an every-other-day or every-day basis? I’m pretty sure one leg is at least equivalent to two days of face shaving in terms of razor wear and tear and shaving cream. In first world countries shaving is the norm more often than not. We’re not talking about who costs less if we all stop shaving or getting haircuts, man and woman alike, we’re talking about the average lady and guy. And I’d say the average lady shaves her legs and the average man shaves his face.
For the average man vs the average woman I’d say women are expected to spend more on beauty products to maintain a societal “standard” and that they fulfill those expectations. They don’t “have” to wear makeup and other stuff but face it, the majority do, usually because of a combination of liking it personally and society expecting them to do it.
I did stumble across this fun bit of information. Despite all the baggage that comes along with being a woman that we can’t avoid (menstruation, pregnancy or avoiding pregnancy, etc) it seems men like to spend more for fun just because.
Now I’m in Texas and I realize we aren’t DC (that’s where you are, right?), but all the places I’ve worked (in management and as a grunt) and my husband (being in the upper crust of at least three level one trauma center hospitals) in large metropolitan areas, no one has ever seriously thought someone wasn’t a professional because of the above. Sure, there might be some kidding about less-than-best sartorial choices, with even some counseling thrown in for something really egregious, but no one has cared. As long as the person is well groomed, clean and neat, and can do their damn job, the above is baffling.
If I’m looking for a runway model, I’d expect that. If I want a person to make sure my taxes or done correctly, my husband’s wound care ministered to or the coding right on the bills I need to pay, then competence is all that matters. Not if they shop at Ross or Neimans.
Note these are expectation for female professionals. It was a lot less expensive when I was a grad student and could wear jeans to work.
Look at the female managers in your office. How many have their nails done? Lots, right? Now, how many of those have chipped polish? Very few, right? That’s because they get regular manicures. It’s costly and time consuming, but it’s a part of a professional image. Now, you can definitely get away without this one if you are good at maintaining your nails at home, but skip too many things at one time and you end up looking like the intern rather than the boss.
Women’s clothing changes seasonally, and women’s bodies change through their lives (ever tried your old clothes on after pregnancy?). I don’t think 6 pieces of new clothing per quarter is at all unusual between wardrobe updates and replacing worn items. That’s basically getting two or three new outfits per season.
I get my haircut quarterly and I don’t need highlights, so my actual costs are cheaper. But a women’s haircut at a midrange chain salon is indeed $50.00, with coloring being around $100 and needing frequent touch up to avoid roots.
Again, you can do home hair coloring, dress from Target and skip the nails, but eventually you will stop projecting professionalism.
This is true, although not necessarily to the levels even sven mentions. Also keep in mind this is average, because I am sure the professional man would also spend more than the blue-collar man on work appearance.
You could do your own mani/pedi, which I do, and I save the salon ones for special occasions. Of course, that means you also have to buy the nail polishers, removers, and other instruments you may want to use. I am lucky that my office, despite being professional, is in a field where polish would be found at a disadvantage/not needed.
I do think the clothing comment is a bit overmuch, or else is distributing monthly what may be a semi-annual or annual thing.
Expectations that you expect =/= expectations of the average office. I’ve noticed in other threads that you’re very proud of being trendy and fashionable, but I think you’re projecting your own opinions out to the general public just a little bit… and in some cases, a lot.
There are a lot of professional women in my office, and i see more in court and depositions all the time. I would never in a million years be able to tell you “how many have their nails done,” or “how many have chipped polish.” Maybe it’s me, but if someone wanted to save some time and money, leaving their nails alone would seem like a simple way to do it with no downside.
Maybe, and DC is very in to getting dressed for work. But I don’t think I am wildly off the mark either- especially when you consider we also are expected to have both casual and going-out wear (while my husband can wear a polo and slacks to 90% of his engagements).
It’s not so much the exact costs as the sheer amount of appearance related stuff that we are expected to spend money on.
It’s definitely more expensive to be a woman than a man. But I don’t think all the trappings listed by even sven are necessary to come off as professional. A woman can rotate out a few “suits” just like a man can. Matching pants and fitted suitcoat in heather gray, navy, black, and maybe a fun color like red or fuchsia. 5-10 shells (tank tops) to wear underneath the jacket. One nice pair of dress shoes, maybe 2 if you like to alternate flats/heels.
I wonder what kind of pointy destructo-boobs you must have, 'cause I’ve never needed to buy a new bra every month. Chemical (expensive) hair coloring is not needed when you can just DIY henna (red), indigo (black/brown), and/or cassia (blonde) at home. The need for eyebrow waxing is eliminated by a good pair of tweezers. Manicures are unnecessary if you have a couple bottles of polish, a good topcoat, and nail file. I even learned how to do my own layered haircuts at home! Works if you wear it long, but not so much for short.
The surprising thing in this post is not the cost outlay but the fact that…you’re a woman! I always thought you were a Nordic man…
I think married men must have the most expensive lives because, as others have pointed out, there is still that outmoded/sexist convention that a man must earn the bulk of the money. It is far more acceptable for a wife to work part time or not at all in a marriage, which is very frowned upon in a man.
For single people, possibly women have to pay more.
