So I was just on a discussion forum about redshirting(delaying a child’s entrance into kindergarten by a year thus making them older than all their classmates). On that forum, a bunch of people said that they wished their parents had redshirted them and that they hated being the youngest because their friends could drive before them and drink before them. Now, it makes sense if they don’t want to be the last of their friends to drive, because you get your license at 16 when you’re still in high school. However, the drinking age is 21, by which time you’re well out of high school.
This tells me that they were still in touch with their friends from high school. The reason I don’t think they were comparing themselves to their college friends is because a large chunk of them probably didn’t even go to and secondly, college isn’t like high school, where all the students are pretty much within a year from each other. People all have sorts of different paths when it comes to college. It’s not like high school where you pretty much expect everyone to turn 16 their sophomore or junior year. The paths in college are so varied that you could turn 21 anytime between your sophomore or not till after you’ve graduated college. That’s why I don’t think they were talking about their college friends. There’s too much funkiness and variety in college.
So back to the point; I’ve hardly talked to my high school friends since graduating high school. I might chat with them once in a while, but that’s about it. Would it be normal if I wanted to become close with them again?
Absolutely yes. I’m still close to two people I went to high school with, and I graduated 50 years ago this year. I talk to one of them several times a week, even though we live in different cities. There are others that I’m in touch with, even if I don’t see them all that often due to distance.
In fact, the older you get, the more these friendships from your younger years mean, These are the people who “knew you when,” who liked the same music, who went through those troubles and triumphs special to the high school years. Not to mention that they’re the ones who remember when you were skinny and had all your hair. That will mean more as the years go by.
By all means, re-connect with your high school friends…and stay in touch.
I don’t see why it would be a problem. I happen to live in a place that is 3,000 miles from where I went to HS, and don’t have contact with anyone form that time. But… lots of folks where I live grew up here, and most of them keep in touch with their HS friends.
Just to be clear, though, don’t be looking for validation to go stalk that girl or guy you had a crush on and never got over!
It depends. When I finished high school, only one other boy from my school went to the same university as me: it was a big university, and I saw very little of him then or later, even though he was actually the first boy from another primary school that I met on the first day of high school. (I’m saying “boy” here because there were no girls at my single-sex high school.)
Now, more than 50 years later, there are only two class mates that I regularly see. One of them is because our paths often cross in local political activities: we belong to different political parties, but our political opinions have a lot in common. The other I don’t really have much in common with, except that his wife and my wife were also in the same class at high school, so they keep in touch with each other.
I drifted away from many of my HS friends during college. When I went to grad school I had the urge to reconnect, and I got back in touch with my closest friends then. It took awhile after college to reconnect with my college friends. I guess I need some distance first.
Fwiw, I left my hometown for college and moved far away from there for grad school…
Of the groomsmen at my wedding 4 were from high school, 1 was from college and 1 was from working. I got married when I was 30 so well out of high school and college. I’d disagree about ages in college everyone I hung out with in college was within a year of my age with the exception of a roommate my 5th year who consequently was one of my groomsmen.
Couldn’t care less about any of the people I went to High School with; even the very few I got close to. I do keep contact with some of the grade school people though. I think its great when childhood friends stay close and friends for life; I just got back from seeing a bunch of people like that. But which of us more represents the norm I don’t really have a set opinion on. I changes more with the day and my mood.
So yeah. What I said about age is true in most colleges, but your college may have just been an exception. Sorry. It was my fault for not backing up my statements with these sources earlier.
My li’l sister still hangs around with her social crowd from school. Me, I’ve still got one friend from those days, but only the one.
America is a very mobile society…physically. We move a lot. And this means we move away a lot. Part of the big melting pot. My crowd from school, here in California, now live among more than thirty U.S. states.
After high school I had a core group of 3 HS friends (plus maybe an extended group of about a dozen) who all went to different colleges, but used to all hang out when we were home during the summers. Gradually we saw less and less of each other as people graduated, moved away, got married and had kids.
One of my good friends lived in Boston, so we used to always hang out. Once I moved to New York, we would visit each other about once or twice a year for a bit. We even flew out to Indiana to visit another friend of ours once.
But now, I’m not really in touch with any of my old HS friends (except on Facebook of course).
IME, unless you have a group of friends who all live in close proximity, it’s really hard to keep in touch. Even if you plan on periodic reunions and whatnot, at some point, it just feels like you are hanging out with a bunch of strangers you knew 15-20 years ago.
Ummm . . . Your links are about people graduating in 5 years. I would bet you that the average age of college freshmen is less then 19 and greater then 18. Most people start at the same age and that cohort stays together with according to your stats almost 40% graduating together. While, like myself, there are may who graduate in 5 years that doesn’t mean they weren’t taking classes with their cohort for the first 4 years and even in their 5 year 40% of their classmates are going to be within 1 year of their age.
Wildly more then 50% of people in college spend all of their class time with people born within 1 year of them.
My parents are still best friends with their high school best friends, and their friend circles still include as many high school friends as they do work friends. They are in their late 60s.
My brother and I are still friends with our high school friends too. Most of my friends are people I met via my hometown friends. In fact the majority of my Facebook friends list are people I went to elementary, middle and high school with and I see most of them in person on a regular basis (so not just Facebook).
It’s really common around here to keep in touch. But there are people who vanished, and that’s ok.
Depends. I’m not close, but I also moved away after college. I do go back for reunions and have a great time, but my school was different from what other people report – little bullying (the teachers and coaches didn’t allow it) and most of us had been together since kindergarten.
I’m not, but I know a lot of people who are. Some of it occurs naturally if you move back to your home town after college or if you never leave it to begin with.
I moved to a small town about thirty years ago, and people I met there told me how nice it was to see high school friends in the grocery store, have their kids and their high school friends’ kids go to school together, etc.
This. Also, while I have very little contact with most of my former classmates (I’ve spent more time out of town than in, and happily so), they’re the people with whom it may happen that we run into each other in the street and spend several hours catching up. With former coworkers, the catching up is highly unlikely to take more than five minutes.
I graduated from High School in 1969. Although I mostly haven’t lived there since I graduated, when I go back to New York during the holidays, I usually have dinner with 4 or 5 guys I went to high school with, or know from that time. Since they still live in the area, they are still in touch with an even wider circle of friends from that time.
