I was one of the lucky ones. I was safe, as were everyone I know personally. But I can’t seem to stop the tears for good. I’ll be sitting here in front of the computer, checking the board, checking my e-mail, playing some solitaire, listening the TV, and a word, or a thought, just about anything, will hit me and the tears start to flow.
I feel like it’s wrong, somehow, for me to be this upset, because I don’t have anyone in particular to be upset about. My step-mom, if I were to talk to her about this, would probably tell me I’m over-reacting, that I should be over it in 24 hours. But… I can’t seem to help it. And I don’t even know completely why… is it because of the friends and acquainances that I might have lost, or for all the lives that were lost, or the lives that may later be lost? I just don’t know. All I know is I feel incredibly sad and the tears don’t want to stop. And I wish I could hug every person I love right now.
Mods, if this belongs in another thread, please let me know, and I’ll be happy to cut and paste it there. I just didn’t see one where this exact post seemed appropriate.
I hope it’s OK to cry. I keep thinking I have it under control, and then I get another surge of the rage/terror/sorrow I’ve had since I heard, and the tears start again. Not for any one person, but for all of them, and for all of us.
it is okay. today and for many days we will all morn for people we never met and didn’t know about until they died.
today tears fell when i saw a family listed amoung those on one of the planes that hit wtc1. mother, father, 2 & 4 year old children. how could you not shed tears seeing that. hearing the stories of those that received phone calls from loved ones on the planes. how could you not weep.
TP, I’m a big, strong, cynical, jaded, Gothic misanthrope. I’ve been misting up and choking up off and on for a solid day and a half, and I let loose in a wailing fit last night so bad I thought I wasn’t going to be able to catch my breath.
When those firefighters unfurled the flag at the Pentagon today, it was all I could do to not start crying in the blood donation center.
I don’t feel any shame about this, and neither should you. We were, each of us, individually and collectively violated yesterday. We were made to feel weak, and terrorized and powerless as people and a society. Thousands, perhaps tens of thousands, of people just like us, whom we did not know and will now never have the chance to, had their lives, their hopes and their very bodies vaporized. Timing and geography are the only things that kept “us” from being “them”. It could have been any one of us.
Don’t feel ashamed of your tears. Bathe in them. They are the life’s blood of your humanity, and that is what separates us from the hideous bastards that did this.
I totally understand how you feel. I’ve been glued to the TV or the computer since yesterday morning, and I finally got my ass off my chair and put my shoes on and went for a run. About halfway through, everything from the last two days hit me and I started bawling right there on the path. Luckily there was nobody around right them, because I really didn’t feel like explaining. All the losses, both collective and personal. The breakup with Vince (Sua)(happened last week, long story), the planes crashing into the towers, vix and all her dead coworkers, worrying about Vince, then vix, then Cartooniverse (though now I see he has been heard from, thank God), the Pentagon, all of it. I want to see Vince so bad, but I don’t know how much of it is actually missing him and how much is just wanting to be comforted.
The footage didn’t get to me that badly, not at first. But I lost it when I found out my friend who works in the Pentagon is ok. Everyone but him had been accounted for, and I got an e-mail from him this afternoon. And I lost it.
I sat here and bawled for a good hour. Then the news shows were on, and I bawled some more. I finally had to change the channel to something without news coverage, because I couldn’t take anymore.
Yes, it’s ok to cry. Because things have changed-things have changed forever. Even for those of us who didn’t lose someone in these attacks, we will always be aware that the US is not immune-we haven’t ever been, but we really had to learn it yesterday.
I know how you feel. Though I am lucky enough to not personally know anyone directly involved with the tragedy, watching the hours of footage and listening to the commentaries really hit me hard. Watching other peoples’ reactions was difficult as well. Everyone is so angry, so frustrated…all last night I was so overwhelmed with sadness.
My father told me once that it is a thousand times better to feel “too much” than to feel nothing at all. Bless you for being compassionate and sympathetic instead of stoic and impartial.
Everyone is going through such weird cycles of inner turmoil-please know you’re not alone.
Of course it is. For me, it’s not the number of people. I can’t comprehend the numbers. It’s not the destruction, either - I’ve seen Hollywood destruction too often. For me, it’s the names and it’s the stories. It’s the humanness of all of it.
Someone posted a list of names on two of the flights – tears.
I saw the Matt Lauer interview with the mother of a man on the Pittsburg flight - I completely lost it.
For me, tears are what remind me what I have in common with these people. I don’t know any of them - all of my friends and family have checked in - but I know every single one of them through our common links of humanity.
I have shed some tears, but not that many. I’m just too numb and bewildered and confused and stunned.
What I did feel wrong about doing today, though, was smiling. It just felt so wrong for me to feel any kind of pleasure, regardless of what it was coming from.
Every time I passed the lunchroom today, I stopped and watched TV for a minute or two, just to see what was going on. I thought a lot today about Alphagene, who is working out there for the Medical Examiner’s Office, helping to collect and identify the bodies.
And I just had the hardest time trying to smile. It just wasn’t happening.
It isn’t wrong, we all have different ways of mourning, and that is what we are doing, after all our lives have been changed forever because of the acts of yesterday morning. I know I was extremely sad and I found myself crying a lot last night and at odd times today. I also know some people are just trying to carry on as if nothing happened and it is fine too, we all have our own ways of mourning and dealing with this tragedy. The other thing to keep in mind is that this is a lot larger tragedy then any of us are used to dealing with so we have to be prepared to deal with an immensity of emotions we aren’t used to handling. Take time to think and consider things and talk with your friends, take comfort in their friendship and comfort them. It will be hard to get through this but we must and will make it through. Be strong everybody.
I was crying yesterday also. I am scared and angry and my heart cries out about how wrong all of this is. I was holding it together pretty well until I saw the first tower come down. I was terrified. And I couldn’t stop thinking about all the lives lost. Yesterday was awful.
Today isn’t any better. I can hardly concentrate on anything that doesn’t have to do with the attack. I am still scared. I’m sad and confused over the whole thing. And I cannot imagine anything ever being okay again.
I’m still in a sort of uncomprehending shock, but I did nearly lose it when my mom told me earlier that my brother was really upset when he came home from school. He’s afraid this is going to turn into a huge war, and his eighteenth birthday is in six months, and that he might get drafted.
Now, that scares the hell out of me. That’s when it hit me that while I don’t really know anybody who was there, though I’m very grateful that the Dopers are okay, that this DOES affect me. Or it could, if the worst happens.
I REALLY don’t want to send my baby brother off to be cannon fodder in WWIII.
I hadn’t cried at all until this afternoon. Then I was reading about this one woman hunting for her fiance. He’d been in whichever tower was hit first, and had called her at about 8:50am yesterday to say he was OK, but she hadn’t heard from him since. When they asked her what floor he’d been on, she said 104.
The overall stuff, I could abstract away. But when you get down to particulars…all I could think of was how her world had just been ripped apart, and tears were just streaming down my face.
And then you think, there’s a thousand stories out there today that you just don’t know, but would hit you every bit as hard if you knew them.
IT’s not only ok, it’s healthy. It’s the people who claim to not be effected, the ones not feeling the gambit of emotions that we are, that worry me.
Cry, rage, against what happened. My God, a piece of your world is visibly missing. Your city looks like a warzone. Our nation’s capitol was attacked.
It is frustrating to sit here and watch, helpless to not do something more immediate than I already have. People here are grieving. This opened up old wounds for us. We know what it’s like to wait and worry about friends and loved ones while rescue workers work themselves till they drop. To feel personally attacked and violated even it it didn’t effect our persons directly. God, they’ve opened grief counseling centers again here.
Yesterday I was shaken, angry, ready to tear something up in my frustration, fear, helplessness and rage. I finally went to a friend’s house and beat on a practice pell with a rattan sword until I was tired.
I’ve cried over some of the stories that have been posted here. Not just out of sadness. There have been moments that I have been moved to tears of pride by the actions of my countrymen.
There’s a good number of Oklahomans who know many of the rescue workers that are now dead or missing. Today I’ve been crying because someone put a name to a body and I knew the face, the smile, it belonged to.
When I heard that the towers were collapsing, my throat closed. But cry? Cry over a building? I don’t think so.
I was at work. I refused to cry. Until everyone who passed me realized (I guess I wasn’t chocking it down as well as I thought) how distraught I was.
My co-workers and I stood in the conference room watching T.V… Watching the towers collapse. Watching desperate people jump from over 1000 feet up in the sky. The radio was on in every department. Everyone around me was crying or consoling people who were crying. I was told more than once “Go ahead. No one will think less of you.” But I refused to cry.
Until I read Billdo’s check in thread. Oh my God! The people, the building, my city-- everything. Everything crashing down around our ears.
So I cried at work. Big, hysterical, hiccuping tears. Jesus I’m a sap.
I’ve been crying off and on between bouts of numbness, too. Didn’t know anybody involved. Didn’t have to. And, like FallenAngel, I’m about as jaded and cynical as you can get. But tragedy on this scale cuts through all the bullshit and defense systems you’ve got. In fact, I don’t think I’m going to feel better until I finally bawl my head off. Right now, the enormity of this incident only really hits me sporadically, for a brief period, before my mind shunts it out. Cry all you want. Nobody can accuse you of anything but being part of the human race.
Yesterday I sat in front of the TV and cried, my heart torn. For those lost. For those left behind. For those who must do the unthinkable and find the inner strength to rescue, recover, and clean up. I cried this morning when I awoke to find it wasn’t a horrible dream. I cried again as I watched people frantically search for loved ones and friends, as pictures and names of those on the planes flashed on the screen. The tears came and went, alternating with anger, empty ache, and fear. We live not far from a small airport. My daughter terrified that a plane will crash on our house. She’s almost 8. My husband, 4 years in the Army now 3 years in the Tx Nat’l Guard, walks around with a look on his face that makes my stomach knot up. Even my little one feels the tension in the air. She stops often to smile at me, always staying within arms reach. Yes, it is OK to cry. And with every tear…please pray.
