I’ve built a bookshelf, although my mom helped.
Never built an endtable.
I’ve replaced the alternator in my car, too.
Plans? Please. I thought we were talking about real men here…
Dude, you do know I wasn’t serious, right? I was just teasing.
Hugs
Wow, this thread is a laugh riot when it’s not tragic. So typical of some the more unsavory aspects of SDMB.
As for the OP, I think it was awful he left his friend. I don’t care enough to comment on the rest.
Please pencil me in for a love child appointment somewhere in the next two weeks. You have summarized so much in the span of two short sentences. If I did so at all to begin with, I would worship you.
SIDEBAR: This may also be an incredible insight as to why so many homophobic super-macho men exhibit (measured and proven) arousal at the sight of gay porn. Perhaps it is only the company of (supposedly) similarly unemotional creatures that truly puts them at ease. Women are so untidy about their feelings. Small wonder these meat heads get all excited watching men make love to each other.
I agree completely. Everyone in this thread agrees. So I wonder why you felt the need to go on the offensive?
I think it has more to do with shared interests and a lack of sexual pressure/tension. But that’s just my WAG.
Still attacking. Not sure why.
I singled you out unfairly, and used a poor choice of words when labeling you a “sensitive” type. I intended to convey the meaning “posters who support the ‘sensitive-guy’ argument that men should be able to cry.”
I didn’t realize I had to have a degree in order to be endlessly fascinated. Granted, the adverb is yet another poor choice of words. What I meant was “obviously, this is a hotbutton issue which cuts some people to the core. It is interesting that people on one side of this rancorous debate actually exhibit the behavior of the opposition. I now wonder if this is an aspect of all hotbutton debates. Perhaps the core belief system of all vociferous debaters shares some common ground with the side they rail against.”
“Endlessly” refers to an underlying theme that I now suppose may exist in all heated debates, and have noted this hypothesis to myself in order to verify/disprove it during future, unrelated debates.
One question to the posters who argued that men should be able to cry:
Cite me one single post by anyone in this entire thread that states that men should never cry.
I’ve never built an end-table, I have to admit.
But I have constructed a desk, then broke it by improperly moving it into place via a process of lateral inertia, friction, and the effect of shear forces on dirt-cheap plasterboard quasiwood, then (GRUNT!) repaired the broken desk with hammer and nails so that it was stronger, with more nail-y goodness, than before. A friend later observed on the results, “Huh. Usually it takes at least two or three guys to achieve results like that.”
I’m not sure about the undertones in that–I’m not much for the emotions and such flibbery things–but I’m pretty sure it was deference and awe.
OK.
Dirty Kash;
Jennyrosity:
Scumpup:
And
To which,** Jennyrosity** replies:
Our turn. Give us a cite for why men shouldn’t cry in public at the typical socially acceptable locations. (Replies such as "Because that’s not what men do will result in bludgeoning by the One True Scotsman, god of logical fallacies.)
odd. i used to live near a stripy orange cat named Tuffy.
I know you?
Bwahahaha!
Quite the manly solution there, Drastic. Now go squish some buggy goodness out of a large arthropod and your Y chromosome certificate will go out in today’s mail pouch.
Okay, Ellis, but you said “endlessly informative” and not “endlessly fascinated.” It really doesn’t matter in the least. I don’t consider myself to be “sensitive,” what ever that means. My wife often says that I am not. Having been through a period of profound depression, wherein I broke down in public a couple of times, I maybe empathize with the person mentioned in the OP. I did learn, though, that one’s emotions aren’t always under control, and that it is okay when that happens. When I did break down, the person that was with me did not abandon me, and I will be forever grateful for that. Thanks to counseling and medication (love those meds) I am no longer profoundly depressed but I retain empathy for those who are. I also learned during counseling that it is essential to be in touch with one’s feelings and to act on them appropriately—if the situation calls for tears, then tears it will be. Other than the two situations I described, I haven’t had occasion to cry in the last eight years. Thanks to Marcie, I have been happy during that time.
Scumpup, I’m bored with this and I’m bored with you. So, take your juvenile machismo, your infantile humor, and your lying ass with you while you fuck off and die.
[sup]EMPHASIS ADDED[/sup]
You were doing perfect up to that one last word. You might want to rephrase that final sentence (even though I largely agree with everything else you’ve said). Just a suggestion.
See, that’s just people giving you the benefit of the doubt. You can’t be blamed at all for homosexuality and Daddy issues. Homophobia or religious whackery won’t win you any favors, but at least at the end of the day you can wave your hands and point to your failings.
But you will be held to account if you consider violence or “pimp-slapping” inextricable from being a Real Man. The worst part is you evaluate yourself through the opinions of people who don’t even know you. Let me ask you this: if you cry in front of your little daughter or your wife, why do you care about what strangers think?
Dirty Kash: you’re an asshole for walking away from your friend. I hope once he’s through needing you for a crutch he gives you the send-off you deserve.
Zenster, you are right and I apologize to Scumpup, the Moderators of this message board, and to all the members of this message board. I certainly did not mean to wish actual, physical death on anyone and I regret my choice of words.
Scumpup, merely fucking off will be quite enough, thank you.
Oh, and Zenster, I forgot to thank you earlier for your kind words at the beginnng of this trainwreck. So, a belated thank you, and thank you very much at that.
Uh… SURE I knew that. Yes. Definitely. Ha ha. You are such a kidder. You are. Indeed. Yes.
{ahem}
Esprix
Loo E.B.,
If you wish to address me, I think it is appropriate after the pimp-slapping that I gave you in this thread that you address me as ** “Sweetdaddy Scumpup”** from now on. Otherwise, I won’t be bothered to respond to any of your drivel.
I threw down the gauntlet, asking for cites of posters in this thread claiming that men should never cry. Spooje responded with edited quotes. I have included the snipped context from those quotes:
DirtyKash: “I faked an excuse and pretended to go to the washrooms, just to avoid the humiliation of being seen with a man who cries. Implying that a man crying is humiliating, and therefore never acceptable.
What was snipped: “So I ask you, is it okay for men to cry in public? I think not.” in public is clearly implying that it is in fact ok to cry in private. It appears to be the entire point of the OP.
Jennyrosity: “Sorry, but it’s NEVER ok for a guy to cry, in public or at other time,”
What was snipped: “barring things like death of a parent” interesting how this was part of the same sentence, and you even included the comma. Very misleading. Her view is more extreme than mine, but she immediately added a caveat to “never”, thus failing to satisfy the cite requirement.
Scumpup: “Crying is for women and children.”
You got me there. I missed that one. <sheepish shrug> I’d say that particular post, along with most of his in this thread, had an underlying tone of humor to it, but since I agree with his position, it’s easy to see it/use it as a cop-out.
The other scumpup post you quoted specifically mentioned the setting being a bar, which is a public place, and has no relevance toward the question of crying in private. Jenny’s response seems completely irrelevant to both of our points.
I think my contention is valid; this thread is about men crying in public, not men crying in general. Only one post argued for men to never cry, and that was a two-liner. So please desist from the moral posturing until it against an argument that has actually been made. (Not you specifically.)
I would add several followup questions to the people who say (possibly correctly) that crying is not always controllable:
Is it ok for men to cry on the battlefield, if he is controlling troop deployment?
Is it ok for men to cry while driving a schoolbus full of small children?
Is it ok for men to cry while performing open-heart surgery?
etc…
Hmmm, I’m not sure what your actual question is. My cite request was to point out that posters in this thread almost unilaterally agree that men should indeed cry, just not in public. Are you asking me to find a cite from a poster in this thread? And I never asked for a “why” cite, I asked for specific examples of the perceived attitude that was being raged against, which I was trying to point out never existed in the first place.
So, could you rephrase your question so that I can understand it better?