A girl in the bar got a little friendly in the aftermath of new year’s and left me with an ugly red bruise on my neck. I will be seeing my parents tomorrow and I’d really like to be rid of it, or at least be able to fade it so it’s not so noticeable.
Any ideas?
About the only thing that even remotely works is just piling on some make-up. Maybe you can get a female friend to help you out with that! I’ve also heard that it makes it less noticible if you brush it with a toothbrush. Now I know that sounds messed up but it’s just something I heard, and I’ve never tried it so I wouldn’t know.
Pigmented shellac with tinting has been used by funeral directors to hide bruising without the caking of traditional makeup.
This, my friend, is the reason turtlenecks were invented.
Ya, just pop on by a funeral home, they’ll hook you up with right make up.
Good as new!
I always heard it was toothpaste, not the toothbrush action itself. Not that it seemed to actually help in high school, but some swore by it’s effectiveness.
I vote for turtlenecking it.
Hide a hickey a dickie(sp?).
My mom used to tell me the only treatment for a hickey was amputation. She promised to perform it herself if I ever came home with one.
Dude quit being a wuss and show that hickey with pride my firend.
If Mom gives you any shit just say the girl got you drunk and took advantage of you.
(that way she’ll blame the tramp and not her sweet innocent little son. 
Either that or wear like a band-aid over it…
this is depressing at 34 I realize I’ve yet to grow up… shrugs
Your mom is cool 
My sister’s favorite reply to Mom’s criticism when she came home with a hickey was, “Hey, at least it’s on my neck, where you can see it!”
Start sucking on your arms and legs to make more spots and tell them you’re suffering from a bad allergic reaction to something you ate.
Give me a scalpel, some sutures, and 25 minutes or so, and I can excise your hickey completely! I’ll even send it off to Pathology for a microscopic evaluation.
Did you want anesthetic with that? That costs extra.
Tell 'em you adopted an octopus.
Just tell them it was an auto-asphyxiation experiment that went wrong.
Wow if he can pull that off, I wanna see what his lips must look like.
This is what I do:
Go to your local Walmart, Target, etc. Proceed to their makeup section. Find the brand called Physician’s formula. One of the products is this stick (looks kinda like a lip stick thing) that is yellowish. It is made to be used for hiding undereye circles. The yellow, over a bruise color, will help to nutralize the bruise.
Put this over the hickey. Blend it in a bit. If there is a yellowish tint, you can put some foundation or coverup over it, but just use a little bit and make sure it is the same color as your neck. Finally, finish up with a little bit of powder to set the makeup so that it is less likely to come off.
Hope that helps!
OP here. Thanks everyone.
I did a little “research” on the net and found a couple of other ideas: frozen coins and toothpaste were the most common suggestions. I’ll give them a try but I think the sticking plaster idea is the most useful… they’re my parents y’know, I’m sure they’ll believe me when I tell them the cat scratched me.
Or the good ol’ standby - bad run-in with the vacuum cleaner.
When that happened to me, I found it easier to tell everyone it was ringworm. They didn’t bother pursuing it after that.