The above is very important.
Yes, your wife’s relatives were rude.
However if you let this turn into permanent resentment, then both you and your wife will be unhappy.
I know it’s difficult to do, but celebrate your lovely marriage and let go of your resentment.
P.S. I know how tough it can be to do this - after a nasty practical joke, I harboured a grudge for over 20 years. :eek:
It did me no good at all, but finally I’ve let go. And I’m happier for it. 
Since the OP is asking for opinions, I’ll move this over to IMHO.
Mod Hat Off
Rules of etiquette aside, yeah, your inlaws sound rude. Congrats on your wedding and try not to let it negatively color your wedding memories. You’re now married, so it’s time to assume all financial obligations belong to you and your wife. If other people help, that’s nice, but you two are the responsible parties in your own life now.
Again, congrats!
Not giving a gift is unusual, but not at all rude. It’s your job to assume there is some good reason for it.
They sound rude otherwise, however, but what are you going to do?
Like almost every social convention, giving gifts means different things to different people. Clearly, to you, it’s a crucial part of the social convention, an essential means of conveying respect and appreciation and approval. For others, it’s much, much less important. My MOTHER didn’t give me a wedding present and rarely gives me a Christmas gift–but she’s insanely generous with her time and money in all ways. She just doesn’t think in “gifts”. A lot of my family is like that (I am also like that, for what it’s worth).
Basically, there are two options–either they look at gifts as you do, in which case it was a deliberate slap, or they don’t, in which case you need to accept them as they are. Which do you think this was? Was it malicious?
Its rude but the OP would be more righteous to focus on the lateness…and the overall dont-give-a-shit-ness.
No, it isn’t.
It’s rude not to send a gift, but nothing says you have to tote it to the wedding with you. In fact, I was taught that only rubes take gifts to the wedding itself. Properly, one mails the gift to the bride’s home.
As with so much etiquette, “rules” have loosened.
Your wife’s family sounds like a bunch of assholes.
But, you married her, not them.
What is rude is expecting your guests to pay your bills. A wedding is a celebration, not a cash grab. If you can’t afford a wedding, go to city hall (that’s what I did.)
I know nobody is owning me anything, I really don’t care about the gifts, it’s about the fact that nobody appreciated what we did. And the other thing is, if they weren’t planning on giving anything they could’ve just been honest and said it, not telling me how they’re going to give us so much and then pretending nothing happened. I don’t know how about you but I was raised and told by my parents that it is extremely rude to go to somebody’s party/wedding/or even just go over to their house without bringing anything. I am studying hard, and we are doing everything on our own but people are trying to out us down instead, and don’t do anything for us but they require that we will do stuff for them.
They said they are not coming because they live in different states but they wanted official invitations anyway just to have them.
I agree, we should just forget about it but it’s hard. My father-in-law didn’t even come to the wedding (he lives in Florida and we are in NY) but my wife was still silently hoping he’ll come because she was his first, and probably the only daughter that was getting married.
Yes, we are. But none of us wants to physically carry a baby, honestly call me crazy but this terrifies me, and I have hormonal problems all the time so it would be extremely hard for my body to even keep the pregnancy. Yes, we consider becoming a foster family as well because there is so many children out there that need home and love. Thank you for your help.
You perfectly described the situation. I don’t care about the gifts, I’d be equally happy if they gave us $50 as they gave $500. It’s not about who gave how much but who gave anything. If I wanted to just have fun with people that won’t give us anything I’d go to a bar and told everyone I just got married and partied with strangers, but I actually wanted to to it nice and classy. I think my wife was afraid that this is gonna end up like this because she just wanted a dinner at home after the ceremony instead having a reception.
On top of everything one little fact: my mother in law called my sister first to tell her that they both should organize a wedding for us (my sister did’t even want any help from my in-laws in the first place). My mother-in-law said that she wants to cover half of the expenses. After my sister found a place, made a list of guests, found out how much it’s going to cost my mother in-law was avoiding her because she realized she didn’t have money for it. And I wasn’t mad that she she didn’t want to pay, I was mad that she acting like she can, and afterwards backed up.
You didn’t understand… We would have to pay these fees either way, they were for immigration purposes.
This doesn’t have anything to do with our wedding, I just try to show you guys how my family reacts when we talk about our expenses.
Yes, we are a same sex couple. My wife’s family knew about our relationship for a long time. They were treating us perfectly normal, and were super happy that we were getting married so I don’t think so.
Thank you, you are right. I try not to think about it but sometimes it comes back naturally. For example: couple weeks ago my wife’s aunt (invited to the wedding but didn’t come) put $50 for my wife towards a sympathy gift for one family member. I had to drive at 2am with my wife to ATM so she could deposit a check, and send the money back to her aunt imediately because if not she’d be making stupid comments. But the same time this woman won’t shut up about how much money she’s making smh :smack:
You are right. Thank you! 
I would understand one person but the whole family? I just can’t understand it…
You are probably right they just don’t look at gifts the way I do. I was raised that you have to bring a gift when you’re invited to a birthday party/wedding especially. So for example, I feel extremely uncomfortable when somebody gives me a gift for Christmas and I don’t have anything for them because I didn’t know they were coming.
My wife’s family talks to us regularly so I don’t think they didn’t give us a gift on purpose. I just can’t understand why they were talking about it so much, and after all started pretending nothing ever happened.
I know what you mean but we didn’t have a registry because we don’t have our own apartment yet, and as i said we won’t in the next 5 years. So our gifts were cards with checks/cash inside.