Ok, not a personal attack, that did sound a bit paranoid- just, why not wait ten seconds? You know I’m heading towards the door.
Just in case you work in my office, from now on I’m going to make sure I’m as loud and disgusting as possible. I’m going to eat nothing but White Castles and Taco Bell. I’m going to grunt and groan, strain as hard as I can to make flatus that rattles the stall with a stench guaranteed to crack the tile walls. The splashes will sound like depth charges. I might even attempt to develop a prehensile rectum!
Seriously, when I am in the middle of doody duty, I wouldn’t care if Queen Elizabeth was in the next stall. I’m more concerned about emptying my bowels. I don’t go out of my way to make noise but sometimes a gas buildup in the exhaust pipe will blast out an obstruction. Hey, shit happens.
You remain the Doper most consistently able to make me shoot liquids out of my nose. I salute you, sir. 
Paste this sign on the outer door and you’ll have all the privacy you could want.
Album title!
Make sure you’re on your cellphone too.
By the way, this is a good time to make sure you all are up to speed on the latest big medical advance.
I…I…I don’t…I’m going to… WTF??? :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:
First of all, I can’t imagine even consenting to the treatment. Second, how do you ask someone to save their dung? “Say, Uncle Bob. You know how I said that you’re full of crap? Can you spare a week’s worth?” And then these statements from the donor:
You think the TSA gives you a hard time for having a large bottle of shampoo? Or VC03 would have an issue with circuit boards on the plane? I don’t want to have that open up in the overhead compartment.
What?! You are getting paid to poop. What’s not to understand? Hell, sometimes I save 'em up over the weekend.
That’s great news, Jacmannii! It sounds like a messy procedure, but as my husband nearly died of clostridium difficile when he was hospitalized for routine surgery, I appreciate that there is a breakthrough of sorts.
As for the OP, it’s not rude. That’s what toilets are for. You’d have to grow a skin and be polite enough to ignore the noise and smells.
Unless one of your friends is in there doing the deed and you feel the urge to torment him.
I think of that time as quality private time- I loathe doing it in public only because you can’t get the soothing relaxtion you can at home.
This guy is in there doing his business, something that is completely natural and healthy, and in walks someone else acting all high and mighty and entitled because he only has to pee. The pooping peons should absolutely have to stop what their doing and wait for the peeing class to leave before they can continue their shameful deeds.
It was absolutely a personal attack. It was definitely like he farted right in your face. It’s like he knocked you down, pulled down his pants, put his ass right up next to your face and then let out the biggest fart ever.
Seriously though, not everything is about you. Someone just trying to do his daily constitution is not trying to send you some sort of hostile message. Yeah it wouldn’t have killed him to wait ten seconds, but it also wouldn’t have killed you to be a grown up. Poop happens.
Yes, the consequences of turbulence could be extreme.
Of course there is your trusty mail service. However I know of at least one case where this type of specimen was mishandled and leaked in transit, resulting in multiple employees going postal.
This gives me an idea for a new franchise operation - Jackmannii’s Soothing Public Pooping Cubicles - hermetically sealed, soundproofed, Now With Aromatherapy Dispensers Too!
I imagine it would be pretty stressful to know one of your co-workers might go bitch about you on the internet because you had the gall to shit in a toilet.
No they don’t. you mighta wanted to brush your teeth, or touch up a five o’ clock shadow, or take some medicine, or change clothes… you could been in there another ten minutes, for all he knew.
Some people are weird about public restrooms, some people aren’t. Since public restrooms do indeed exist, it’s the former group that needs to suck it up and deal. I know when I’m shitting, the things in my anus certainly take precedent over anyone who might happen to be in the general vicinity.
Just because I hear a faucet running, how do I know you’ll be out of there in 10 seconds? Maybe you want to take an extra minute to wash your face, comb your hair or tie your shoes. Maybe you’re running the faucet to hide the sounds of your own farting while you decide whether it’s a false alarm or time to get in the stall next to me and do your own number 2. Maybe I’ve got a meeting in five minutes and I’m trying to finish up as quickly as I can.
Jeez! It’s a toilet. Deal with it.
I can’t imagine anyone would linger in a bathroom when someone is there getting their masters degree in the brown arts, but that’s just me.
That’s kind of the summary of this thread. 
You win.
Lots of folks have defecation issues, it seems.
Years ago there was a guy in Syracuse, NY who used to write letters to local newspapers, decrying folks who had bowel movements in public washrooms. He felt that signs should be hung in these places, saying things like: “These stalls are provided only for those who are suffering temporary irregularity of the bowels. Decent people defecate at home, where they may properly shower after their bowel movements”. :rolleyes:
Freud really had a field day with folks who had these sorts of issues. I think it’s one of the few areas he was mostly correct about: Toilet training seems to leave a lot of folks adversely affected.
Everybody poops. Pooping in a facility designed for it is normal behavior.
Unless there’s an emergency, I will hold until the other person in the bathroom leaves.
This is not to protect their delicate sensibilities, it’s because I know I can make some truly heinous noises and smells and I’m embarrassed about that for my own sake.
But I really don’t care if the other person in the bathroom makes noises and smells. It’s a toilet for fuck’s sake. My bathroom issues are my issues, and I don’t feel the need to impress them on other people.
To be fair to WB, I can think of one situation where a certain amount of public bathroom decorum is advisable.
A woman who is a supervisor in my department has the misfortune to work in an office whose outer door (open during work hours) is just across the corridor, a mere three feet from the men’s room door. I fear that this nice lady must cope with certain unsightly sounds and aromas in the course of her work day. I have found that, just prior to the gaseous pre-solid phase of elimination, flushing the toilet (plus, in extreme cases, coughing loudly) mitigates the noise factor. A certain citrus aerosol product is effective on odors, though I imagine at times this woman feels like she’s in that orange juice ad with the grove ever so close… 
I see your thread and raise you this one.
:eek:
To be fair, I LOATHE using public restrooms for this reason-I can’t stand the smells. BUT…I accept that as being, oh, I dunno, normal? Hell, I don’t even like using the bathroom at home after someone else. But I’m sure someone feels the same way about me. Suck it up, dude.
How can the pooper know for sure you’re going to walk out?
I know this has turned into pretty much a joke thread, but anyway, I agree with the others - it isn’t rude to shit in the toilet. It just isn’t.