I realize that when you have three separate businesses on one floor of a building, and only one bathroom between them, you’re occassionally going to get grossed out by something. But what is it about men???
I’m sitting in a stall, attending to the morning’s constitutional, when in walks another “patron”. I immediately cease and desist all noisy bodily functions. Bobby Loosesphincter however, gets in the stall next to me, and proceeds to go about his business like he’s auditioning for the part! Not only are there the sounds you’d expect, but also grunting, groaning, and even a “Hoo boy”. That’s right. You heard me.
My intent is not to gross anyone out, but honestly, are there those of you out there who take an “every man for himself” attitude when it comes to public restrooms? I’ve spoken to my Mrs. Dante and various other women about this, and except for the odd horror story, it seems to be the sole domain of men to treat it like a contest.
I’m going to ask for special dispensation from the women on my floor to use their restroom…
…but if the guy’s gotta take a big crap then the grunts and machine-gun farts are part of nature. Should he be polite and just squelch them out in a light pitter-patter so as not to offend your bowel-sensibilities?
While the Lord may move in mysterious ways - the colon doesn’t.
You’ve got issues. I mean, sure, a HOO BOY is excessive, but you cease and desist noisy bodily functions when you’re sitting in the bathroom on a toilet? That’s why the bathroom is there, it’s not some antisocial ‘every man for himself’ attitude to let whatever is pent up within your ass loose while sitting on a toilet. I just don’t get it; while I get annoyed at bathroom-cell-phone-users (for both the people called and the people in the room) or the loud conversation crew, I simply can’t understand how you would get annoyed at someone for letting fly in the one place where it’s socially acceptable to do so. Seriously, do you expect people to just hold it in until they get home lest a loud noise erupt?
Am I the only person who thinks the “hoo boy” was perhaps justified? It sounds like he was having one hell of a time in there, and under the circumstances, I can imagine wanting to proclaim it, if only to, uh, relieve yourself.
In any event, if he was doing it to be competitive about the thing, “hoo boy” seems, well, rather uninspired. Why not a “YEEEHAW!! This one’s gonna keep the custodians in here for twenty minutes with a plunger!!”?
Sometimes I’ll make comments (or exclamations or whatever) about my business if I’m being particularly noisy/foul about it. IMO it helps to take the sting away from the inevitable stench and the sound (both of which I have little to no control over). “Godalmighty this guy next to me has some foul excretions, but at least he’s jocular about it.” It behooves the guy next to me to take his mind off of the goings-on in my stall.
Aw crap, this thread has me laughing so bad that my boss has asked me twice what’s so funny. Of course being a good employee I can’t let her know I’m reading the boards on company time so I just tell her something I saw on Dharma and Greg. She loves that show.
That’s funny, I have no problem with people talking (although the cell phone is a bit much), but I get fairly disgusted listening to someone else’s bowel movements, and by default, assume that they probably don’t want to hear mine.
So, again, what do you expect the guy to do, just hold it until he gets home? What were you planning on doing, just sitting there holding it in until one of you decided to leave the bathroom? I mean, really, the whole point of having toilets in a men’s public bathroom is for them to serve as bowel movement depositories, not as some kind of artistic statement. I don’t understand why someone would think it wrong to use public toilets as, well, public toilets.
Yeah, sure, no one likes hearing other people taking a crap (Standard post-internet disclaimer: Aside from some <1% group that has a website dedicated to it.), and I think most of us would get rather irate if we were hearing that at, say, a dinner table. But what were you doing sitting on a toilet if making bathroom sounds wasn’t in the cards? I don’t especially like birthing sounds, for example, but if I go into a delivery room I don’t get offended by the fact that I’m going to hear them.
I’m also disgusted by bowel movements (that shit’s nasty), but there’s not a helluva lot I can do to control the noise and odor of mine, and I assume that there’s not a helluva lot that others can do to control theirs (although I did know a few kids back in grade school who could fart on command). If I’ve got to take the mother of all shits, then I’m going to release that evil as soon as is humanly possible, foulness be damned. I will give the guy next to me a courtesy flush, though. Or several courtesy flushes, if that’s what it takes.
