Why can't I get privacy in the bathroom?? (a little TMI)

The BBQ Pit
#1

I am female, and I work for a pretty big company. At least once a day, I have to go poop. I am sort of a shy pooper, so it is always a relief when I get the 4-stall bathroom to myself.

Why in hell, almost every day, must the male janitor knock on the door to replace supplies or some such? Why can’t he do it after hours? Or at least after lunch? Or why can’t they have a female janitor that won’t KNOCK! The knocking startles me, and is not conducive to relaxation, thereby causing a backup.

I swear he interrupts me almost every time! And I’m not *that[/] regular, it is not at the same time every day!

I’m getting extremely tired of this…

#2

Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were using this thread.

I’ll just wait right outside here until you’re done posting.

No rush.

#3

I was going to post a thread like this. My least favorite thing is when you are trying to do your business, and there are two people standing by the sink carrying on a conversation. Hello! Go talk outside or something, I can’t poop with you listening.

#4

(visualizes Dolores Claiborne on the pot, thereby joining the 59 people who viewed this thread before me)

#5

My least favorite thing is when I’m trying to do my business and someone comes in and says something about the odorous nature of what’s going on in the bathroom.

And yes, I do provide courtesy flushes!! :frowning:

#6

You need to slam your palm against the stall door just like Dustin Hoffman did on the taxi hood in Midnight Cowboy and yell “Hey, I’m poopin’ here! Can’t you see I’m poopin’ here!”

#7

I have been known to go in, find the stalls occupied, and proceed to wash my hands and leave, and either go to the other bathroom or return at another time.

I HAVE to have privacy.

#8

I also like privacy, especially when making a “major transaction.”

I work on the 5th floor. Around the corner from my office is a bathroom with two stalls. If I walk in and notice a stall is in use, I will immediately turn around and walk out. I will then try the 4th floor bathroom. And if that’s occupied I will try the 3rd floor bathroom, etc.

#9

I hate that! One time I had some rather, uh, urgent business that couldn’t wait until I got home, and while I was in there two women came in and started loudly remarking on the smell. Hey, I’m sorry, I know it stinks, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. If you can’t handle that people poop in the bathroom sometimes, you shouldn’t go into public restrooms!

#10

It is as simple as this.

Be as loud as you can in the process of eliminating.

Most often, those adjacent will be stunned into silence, if not into leaving the vicinity. Those rare times one begins to laugh or otherwise comment, you still have the upper hand (as this is a natural process).

#11

I can’t do that! I can’t even fart! It’s a terrible thing. If someone comes in while I am sitting, and not yet shitting, I wait until they flush and then push a fart out, then attempt to silently take a crap. I can’t stand it if someone hears me! I know it’s stupid… but it also grosses me out to hear someone else.

#12

I’ve discussed poop shyness with Mrs. Hyperelastic many times. According to her, farts are rarely heard in women’s restrooms, and when they do occur, they are a source of embarrassment. Apparently there is also some technique in which a wad of toilet paper is used as a fart-muffler.

I don’t know how you people can live like that. I work in a building full of engineers (about 90% male), and our restroom sounds like one of those antique steam engine shows at 9 am every day. I have also noticed that the older one gets, the less one is concerned over whether one is in a stall, or even the restroom itself, when one decides to let go. I actually remember working at a place where I heard the top two managers discussing business matters in the restroom, and in mid-conversation one of the guys guy sat on the bowl, farted thunderously, and said “Uhhhhyeahhhh”. It’ll be a great day when women can share that freedom.

#13

Heh. I have the unfortunate advantage (and the chutzpah to say something about it) of having a rare neuroendocrine cancer that causes some really rank gastrointestinal problems. I just announce rather loudly that if they’d prefer, they could go elsewhere, but I can’t, as i’m indisposed. THEN I tell them that with my medical history, they’re lucky it isn’t worse.

Generally, the whiners will shut up and leave. If they continue to gripe, I generally remind them that the purpose of the room IS what i’m doing, not standing around dodging work and chatting.

Yes, I certainly AM a bitch…

#14

I am in awe.

I have NEVER been able to take a crap in a ‘public’ toilet. I have never even felt the need to do so when away from my own personal loo…(except of course when on holiday, and even then it takes me two or three days to get in the ‘mood’).

I guess I fit the classic ‘anal retentive’ persona!! :stuck_out_tongue:

#15

For a long time I would try to avoid crapping in a public toilet. I managed to finish high school without crapping there once.

As I got older, I’ve learned that you should go whenever you first feel like it. I have had to overcome my poop-shyness.

#16

A tip I learned for overcoming pee shyness:

Do your multiplication tables.

The same brain cell that regulates your excretory system to piss also does your math functions. Keep it busy with “2 times 2 is 4, 2 times 3 is 6, etc” and you will unleash the golden stream in no time.

I can get in the middle of piss troughs in public bars and make my neighbors feel inferior with cascading piddle noises in no time flat using this method.

Haven’t ever tried it for pooping, though. When I gotta go, I gotta go and there’s no holding it back.

#17

“Major transaction”, I like this phrase. On topic, it’s a bit rude to comment on smells in the restroom–I mean it’s embarassing enough that someone is listening while you pee and poo, it’s a bit much to comment on it. Oh and men–when you use a unisex bathroom, it is not polite to look in the stall trashcan and comment on the feminene hygiene products you see there.

#18

How odd. I find that I’m always alone in the restroom, usually after about 30 seconds…

#19

I dunno, but thats probably the funniest thing Ive read all week.

I actually feel more comfortable when there is background activity going on in the can whilst I attempt a download. I wish there was piped in music or some loud exhaust fans in the johns I frequent.
Hyperelastic I`d think we work in the same building, except the gatherings here start much earlier, like around 8 A.M. or so. And the sounds are more remeniscent of a big-rig downshifting through the gears with the engine brake on.

fart muffler HEEE!!

#20

ivylass, I do the exact same thing. Jeez Louise, there are times when I have to go to three different bathrooms - just so I can have some privacy. And depending on what I’ve had for lunch, this can be a BAD thing.