Is it true what they say about gerbils?

http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_216b

I was surprised that the gerbil’s question generated so little feedback/informed comment i.e. nil.

Allow me to offer my own insight (don’t excite yourself - I have no experience of up-shoving) into the rectal rodent pnenomenon.

I can’t claim to have figured this out myself but, with reference to a Hollywood legend, I once saw it suggested that the whole gerbil-up-the-ass story originated with a very bad case of Chinese whispers.

In fact, the theory went, a famous actor was once admitted to hospital to have a mole removed from his ass. I don’t think it’s difficult to see how people could have got the wrong end of this tale (boom - boom). :confused:

Thus, a whole new improbable - and probably impossible - sexual perversion was born and an otherwise unblemished reputation was reduced to worldwide infamy. Couldn’t hae happened to a nicer guy.

As for foreign bodies, I am told that bars of soap are “fairly common”, the simple explanation being that the patient “sat on it in the bath” :dubious: - could happen to anyone. :smack:

Perhaps an even more interesting discussion (lawuits permitting) would be which celebrities have had what removed.

Living in the UK, the case of a former Scottish newsreader springs to mind. Allegedly, the said newreader had a little bit of trouble with a bottle of (appropriately) brown sauce (a tangy vinegarry alternative to ketchup).

http://www.hpfoods.com/brands/hpsauce/

I can’t say if there is an equally innocent explanation for this story but he doesn’t read the news these days. Presumably, his employers thought the reputation may have implications for his gravitas.

A good place to look for information on urban legends is Snopes. Their verdict false on gerbils (and rockstars)

For information on other, er, foreign bodies, try this :eek:

Admittedly people have stuck up their ass pretty much anything that can be stuck up an ass.

However, gerbils are just not one of those things. Beyond the basic logistical problems, gerbils would show their displeasure at such treatment with the use of razor sharp teeth and claws. The tearing of the relatively delicate tissue inside the anus is a (normally preventable) risk of stuffing things up yous ass. With a gerbil it is pretty much inevitable. And quite likely to kill you (or in the case of proper medical treatment and good luck, prevent you from stuffing anything else up your ass ever again. ) Even from a kinky point of view they just don’t make a good choice.

On the other hand I have heard of snakes being used for such a purpose, and that would seem to make more sense if you must have a strange animal up your ass (me, I’ll stick to my boyfriend).

I am sure he appreciates your devotion.

And what sort of strange animal is your boyfriend? :rolleyes:

I trust he hasn’t got stuck!!!

:eek:

homo erectus of course :slight_smile: .

I couldn’t help noticing that Cecil’s very long list of things that have been retrieved from people’s asses didn’t include any of their heads. :smiley:

Well, it is taking longer than we thought…

Welcome to the SDMB, NorthStarr.

The bumping of old threads (known locally as “zombie threads”) is a bit problematic. For one thing, it tends to be confusing for people who don’t notice the date stamps. In the “Comments” forums, we’re more accepting of zombies provided something substantive is added. I don’t see anything substantive so I’ll close this one. Feel free to start a new thread if you like, even if it’s not mind-blowingly deep.

bibliophage
moderator CCC