Cecil,
This is a response to: http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_216b.html
I appreciate your seemingly authoritative response to this question
and all the hands-on research that must have gone on to craft such
a nuanced reply. But did you ever check with Richard Gere about this?
Just curious.
Best wishes,
Miss Marple
I doubt you’ll get much from RG but an icy stare.
Here is Snopes take on the same issue:
It seems the meme entered the public psyche in 1993, with the classic Kiki/Armegedeon version, then shifted over to RG soon after Pretty Woman was released. Snopes dug up one mention of a gerbil up a rectum in a peer reviewed journal in 1996, the same year as Cecil’s column, so to give the Master the benefit of the doubt, the journal may have come out later. It could also be a case of of UL becoming truth, because you mention something enough, someone’s going to try it.
Another link saying Gere has “never confirmed or denied it”.
When it comes to debunking ULs, I say “Let’s get it in gear, people!”
Don’t you mean “Get it in Gere?”
I like my coffee hot and black, my women zaftig, and my puns oblique. 
This is your official “guest has made an excellent funny” golf clap.
—golf clap—
“Everyone is tired of that Richard Gere story.”
-Bart Simpson, writing on chalkboard
*A great adventure is waiting for you ahead
Hurry onward Lemmiwinks, or you will soon be dead
The journey before you may be long and filled with woe
But you must escape the gay man’s ass so your tale can be told
Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks, Lemmiwinks
Lemmiwinks journeyed a distance far and vast
To find his way out of a gay man’s ass
The road ahead is filled with danger and fright
But push onwards Lemmiwinks with all of your might *
If you DO ask Mr. Gere, don’t plan on being invited to his Easter egg hunt.
This article states that Richard Gere believes Sylvester Stallone started the rumor. The two have been feuding ever since Stallone got Gere fired from The Lords of Flatbush.
Why, where does he hide them?
I know Cecil and Snopes both say that this is a [del]gere[/del] mere urban legend, but isn’t it plausible to believe that since this idea has come up someone *has * tried to do it? I mean, this is the age of Goatse we live in, where not only has sexual perversions been pushed, they’ve also been broadcasted over the internet. Even Cecil once said, in his column about microwaving babies…
At the time the story first came out, I was dating the daughter of the Administrator of the hospital Gere reportedly went to, a pre-med student at my university. Understandably curious, I of course asked her if it was true. A week or two later she confirmed through him that it had indeed happened. I guess she or he could have lied about it but knowing her that strikes me as very improbable.
While that may lend credence to the story for me, I do think this excerpt from the third linked page is sensible…
*"Lastly and most poignantly, the claim that the Gere story is authentic always rests on the alleged personal experience of someone who “was there when it happened,” but who is always at least two or three acquaintances removed from the person actually telling the story: “a friend of a friend.” *
My account rests square in the middle of that. So I’m going to figure it probably happened but I don’t blame anyone one bit for calling it a UL. Thing is, one way or the other it really doesn’t make a rat’s ass.
I once saw an anti-homosexual tract that cited this column as evidence that gay men do stuff gerbils. That was a lesson for me, seeing how dishonest the anti-homosexual people are.
Now don’t confuse people – a “rat’s ass” is a completely different kind of experience!
Sailboat
Does anybody else think the Gibbs and Ross citation in Snopes sounds weird? From my experience with technical literature, the phrasing of the report doesn’t seem right. How many times do you see a serious academic journal use the sentence “This is a true story?”
Thank God I wasn’t drinking anything!
I’ve heard about gerbil stuffing before 1993. In the mid-80s, it was Jerry Penacolli (sp), a Philadelphia newscaster.
I can believe someone would try it. I can believe people will try anything. People stick lightbulbs up their ass, frequently with very bad results. And I recall some porn I read years ago involving snakes. But at least that makes a certain amount of phallic sense. But of all the things you could be sticking up your ass gerbils have to be one of the wost ideas. They have…claws. And teeth.
And beyond that how do you convince the thing (obviously more intellegent that the human in question) to actually go there.
There are much better things to put up your ass. Even Richard Gere must know that.
Gerbil? No. Eel? Yes. And they bite.
http://www.surgjournal.com/article/S0039-6060(03)00076-X/abstract