Is it weird that I don't want to share this board with my SO?

LOL. This is hilarious because we just had the toilet seat conversation the very day I posted my OP.:smiley:

(In my defense, I normally leave it down, but this day we were about thee or four glasses of wine in.)

Even though I’m unlike most of the posters here, as both my wife and I are frequent posters, I don’t think it’s weird for someone to want to have their private internet space. I’d say that if feel like you need to actively work to keep the existence of the board from your SO, then maybe there’s a different problem there (a lack of respect for personal space, maybe?). But I certainly don’t think you’re obligated to bring her up to speed on your Dope participation.

Fair question, though … how do you KNOW she doesn’t post here?

My wife, the lovely and talented Aries28, used to post her regularly, and still checks the boards once in a blue moon. Some of the best threads I started involved her as an active participant. It can be a lot of fun.

Mine too, thank heavens. And I know he’s not reading my posts in secret or he’d be pissed by now. :slight_smile:

Well, No one can really know for sure. I just know her personality. Also, I have a lot more free time to waste than she does. Her schedule is filled with things she needs to do. So when she does get free time, she doesn’t typically waste it on the internets like her slouch of a BF does.:stuck_out_tongue:

That said though, she does spend a little time on Facebook, and she belongs to a FB group that is dedicated to a band that she adores. If I understand correctly, that group will talk about anything under the sun much like this board does, it’s just that the main focus tends to be about the band and all things music.

This. She has on occasion posted here, but generally regards it as “Hubby’s space” and doesn’t bother. She’ll go to Dopefests though.

I don’t think it is weird at all.

From what you said, it isn’t really like the “Water Buffalo Lodge”: it isn’t that you want a place to talk about things where your SO can’t overhear.
It is that, in the past, you have shared thoughts and feelings with the community here specifically because they couldn’t be traced back to your IRL persona.

We all do it.

Your SO has probably said things about members of her family that she would be aghast if you repeated them in front of that person. Well, this place is an archive of those kinds of things.

Your twinge of guilt is because … Well, Wilma knew where Fred was going on Lodge nights. While you would not like to share the contents of your 15 years of posting here, you feel like keeping its very existence secret is something you never intended to do.

You think maybe you’ve reached the point in your relationship where she ought to know about us.

I haven’t really got any advice on how to handle that.
Anybody who knows me well could guess my username here. Most people who know me that well know I post here. Some of them I even encourage to join here, should the be interested. In my opinion, none of them would search the archives for posts made by me looking for personal stuff.

If, in your opinion, your SO won’t go snooping in the archive for posts you made about old girlfriends (or whatever), you might tell her about us. You might read her some amusing stories from here. Ease gently into the part where you explain that there are a bunch of strangers who really mean a lot to you, oddly enough because they are people you have never met. And that sometimes you would talk with them about stuff that you still aren’t ready to talk about with someone you see every day.

Just admit it. You don’t want to tell her about us because you’re ashamed of us.

As you should. You’re practically cheating on her.

My wife was here long before I joined.