Is it weird that I don't want to share this board with my SO?

I’ve been posting here for nearly 15 years. And over those years I’ve dumped a lot of emotional garbage here. As ironic as it sounds, this public message board is very personal to me. I don’t know, I just want my own space where I can go and get an objective view on many of life’s ponderings.

In your opinion, is that bad that I want this place to myself? FTR: She has no desire to join nor does she even know about this place. I haven’t lied to her or anything, just never mentioned this place to her. Still though, I do feel a tinge of guilt.

Not weird at all, sometimes we need to be able to dump our thoughts someplace without fear of having it brought up IRL later, no matter the intention.

I’ve always treated forums like my local bar, friendly chat, good debate, and occasionally, a place to vent. Unlike a the local bar, where things are said and done, in forum/written format they linger.

Grrr!–you are Fred Flintstone, & the SDMB is the Water Buffalo Lodge.

you just want a little space.

Think of boards like this one as a type of reactive journal. You can explore what you’re thinking among well-meaning anonymous people who may or may not have something useful to offer you. I’ve always thought journals were a bit pointless as one already knows what one thinks, after all. But here you may be validated, shot down, even ridiculed, and you run no risk of seeing any of us tomorrow at the office or the grocery store.

As such, keep it to yourself. It’s not cheating any more than writing a journal would be.

I don’t keep the SDMB secret from my husband, and occasionally share some of it with him. But he couldn’t care less about being here himself.

Although my hub doesn’t share my passion for the Dope, I’m grateful that I don’t have to share. I’m even careful which friends I tell about the board.

I think I’d like to meet a guy who was clever enough to figure out my username here and Google it (I try to keep it secret but it’s my screen name many places and one of my email addresses) then read up about me.

However, I wouldn’t want a guy to go back and read all I’ve written here.

So, I just stay alone :wink:

I don’t see anything weird about wanting this to be your personal place. It’s been your personal place before said SO and, god forbid, will be post SO.

I don’t even mention that I post on a message board. I did a couple of times, way back. The looks I got. Sheesh. They either didn’t know what a message board was or thought I was crazy for wasting time on one.

Nope, not weird at all. I have not blocked my SO from posting here, but I wouldn’t really want her to be an active member here.

You don’t need to feel guilty, Honey. I’ve known about it all along. (Ha! You never figured out that I dope, too!) As long as you put the toilet seat down, it’s all good.:smiley:

Same here with my wife. Though she will occasionally ask me “Why don’t you see if the Straight Dope has any info on it”.

My SO is registered here, but rarely even lurks. Occasionally she asks what’s going on the Dope. Sometimes I read the highlights to her.

Not weird at all. In a relationship it’s okay for each person to have their own interest. I think the worst I’ve ever said about my relationship on this board is to complain about my in-laws, but it’s okay to not share every single thought you have with your spouse.

I have shared some things from this site with my wife and we used to do the Dope Feud together, but she doesn’t really get the attraction of the SDMB.

Ah, yes. Come to fight teh ignorance, stay for the ridicule. :slight_smile: I like a good ridicule. Especially with ice cream.

SWMBO knows I post here, but she’s more or less indifferent. She tells me stuff she sees on Huff Po and I share stuff with her from here.

My wife knows about this board and in her opinion I spend too much time here. She has no interest in joining but I wouldn’t care if she does I try not to post anything I wouldn’t want coming back on me IRL since I don’t protect my identity much.

My husband and I both are fairly active here. Well, I say active, but he’s an inveterate lurker and I am a deeply intermittent poster - depending on my present workload.

However, we frequent very different fora. I rarely stray north of IMHO and he rarely strays south of Cafe Society.

I don’t think it’s weird. My wife and I have to look for activities that we don’t share. Gives us each more opportunities to be individuals instead of just half of a couple, and we don’t have to pretend that we enjoying doing something just for the benefit of the other. We didn’t actually do that much, but it does help maintain some sort of balance with joint/lone activities and things one or the other enjoys more.

It’s the same way with me and my wife. (As far as I know, anyway. I suppose she could be reading and posting and keeping it secret). :eek:


No, I don’t find it weird at all. I think it’s healthy for a relationship if both parties have a place they can go and be an individual apart from their relationship. Otherwise you end up being one of those Siamese twin couples who are emotionally joined at the head with a “soulmate,” and I don’t consider those types of relationships quite healthy. A person should have some space reserved just for themselves.
I was a member here for years before my SO joined, and we have never made explicit that we are an item. I wanted her to establish her own identity here apart from Arrendajo’s girlfriend so we wouldn’t seem like appendages of each other. After all, she has a lot more going for her than being my girlfriend. Plus it’s fun to come across her posts by chance. We do sometimes point out interesting threads to each other, but we are both intermittent posters, so we don’t always follow what the other is doing here.