Not hate speech, but a kid I knew in high school said man so often it made him sound like a total jackass. I once kept count for 15 minutes and he said man 149 times (or once every 6 seconds). Yes, I told him.
If it was a one time thing I’d let it pass. Saying something risks a pop in the mouth and why bother, it’s not like someone is gonna say, “Gee, I never realized my hateful words were affecting those around me, I’ll change.”
If I don’t like the way a conversation is headed I’ll remove myself politely.
I would probably just shut down the conversation, but I’m weird in that I don’t really mind ugly confrontations. I’m perfectly capable of telling someone that I don’t think there is much point in pretending to be social and then I would get a kind of sick joy out of the following awkward silence.
Life is too short to hang out with people who make you have to wrestle with a moral quandry just to make small talk. If a person is so inconsiderate that he can’t keep his bigotry in check long enough to talk to make chit chat with a stranger, then he really doesn’t deserve a lot of consideration back.
And the downside to this is …?
Interesting question, because I had a phone conversation with someone today that irked me to the bones.
My job involves ringing folks on the phone to aid (registered) charities in their fundraising efforts. I’m the one everyone loves to hate.
But I got a bloke on the blower this arvo, who wanted to know the ins and outs of a puppy-dogs tail regarding the charity I was representing. Once I had assured him of the bona-fides of the cause, he got started on HIS spiel.
My god, he was rabid. Line after line of his hatred of all people who have come to Australia as migrants. His main complaint was against those who are refugees from the various African nations, who he affectionately called ‘tree swingers’ and ‘banana eaters’. When I tried to engage him in a discussion about the virtues of multiculturalism, he nearly barfed…so I tried an alternative tack, mentioning that first generation migrants are ALWAYS prone to problems of assimilation, but come the second generation…
Nope he was not having a bar of it. The niggers are sub-human, and now they’ve ruined Australia. :rolleyes:
I nearly peed my pants though when he told me he only arrived here from England 4 years ago as a migrant. Fuck me dead, how frigging dense can some people be?? Y’know, I’d rather have a thousand people arrive on our shores of whatever colour who are happy and grateful to be here than that obnoxious old cunt who spews misery and hatred.
Just sayin’
Oh, I forgot to mention that I didn’t actually TELL him that he was a fucking obnoxious old bigotted cunt, but I think he got the message just fine all the same.
Bingo. You get to push the go away and never bother me again button. I wish everyone had one of those.
I love Ninety’s approach, but it rather counts on everyone else present being on your side. In my experience, this is often not the case.
I work in a very macho environment where slurs are used constantly. I have to continue working with these people, and they’re generally older than me and don’t like the idea of being corrected by someone younger. The best I’ve come up with is just giving a sort of Mom-look when they say stuff like that. Works best one on one, because as a group they draw strength from each other, but over time it usually works well enough that they don’t say stuff like that in front of me. As much.
Getting a rep as That Bitch who tells everyone how to speak isn’t going to work out well for me. I can handle a bit of flack as That Nice Lady who’s overly sensitive, though.
Nobody used to care if people were bigoted until it became the “in” thing. The very same ones who made all the jokes a couple of decades ago are the loudest with their horrified (mock) outrage over it today.
They do the same thing now as they did then- chime in on whatever is PC at the moment, to look good personally. After all, bigotry is not at all the only or worst problem out there, there’s scarcely anyone out there who would agree with it any more. It is by far the lowest risk, highest payoff self-righeous bandwagon these days. Hardly controversial. When it was all truly awful, it was mighty quiet out there then. Sheeple will say “I always…” No, no, no, they didn’t.
It’s all BS, if you ask me. They’d all go with the flow just as easily if it went back the other way. Boring.
Has anyone else noticed?
I was just thinking about this today after reading this thread. There really are people who don’t get that there are other people who don’t like bigotry and don’t like to be around it. They think people are only decent people when other people are watching, it’s really sad.
Stop the bandwagon and listen for a minute. An observation is non-judgemental, non-partisan, neutral. “It’s a shame some people believe…” does not make any sense in response to someone stating an observation of what they have seen people do over many years. An observation and a belief are two totally different things.
No. But then I don’t hang out with bigots who yearn for the good old days when bigotry was “in”.
That’s not what I said, at all. Perhaps you are not old enough to remember dozens of the very same people on one side of the fence when it was mainstream, and to notice that they are now on the other, now that it’s mainstream, on that issue. Snarkiness is not it, you’ve missed the point. NOBODY SAID THEY ARE STICKING UP FOR BIGOTRY.
It is a fact that most people will “feel strongly” about whatever happens to be the “in” thing to feel strongly about. And be neutral about many other just as pressing issues. That is my observation. “Sticking up for bigotry” is nowhere in that message. Please read before you post.
P.S. If you think bigotry was never “in,” then I suggest you study some basic history on civil rights. It was not only “in,” it was so mainstream it was written into the laws, primo voice of the people.
Even then, plenty of people knew it was wrong. But they rarely said so. Their primary interest was mainly being thought well of themselves. It probably still is.
I’m 43. I didn’t accuse you of sticking up for bigots. I suggested that perhaps you need a wider acquaintance if you think that the people with whom you commonly associate are only suppressing their bigotry because it’s no longer the thing.
I don’t think the problem is my personal circle of acquaintances, judging by the laws on the books at that time, that bottom-line, no-BS mirror of common opinion. They went with what was “how things were done” then. They do the same it now. They’ll do it again in the future. It’s an easily checked out fact of human nature, not some personal shortcoming of mine for saying so, sorry.
Attitudes about bigotry were changed because people stood up for what they thought was right, in some cases giving their lives to fight institional racism. How is that just going along with what is in fashion at the time? And now, because of their work, we live in a society that is less tolerant of racism.
You know how having to explain a joke ruins it? Works for this too.
“Ha ha ha. You used a dirty word. That makes it so much funnier. Ha ha ha.”
“Oh thanks. I always thought Dave was pretty cool, but now that you told me he is a fag, I can see he is no better than you.”
“Oh that is so funny, because black people are lazy, and the president is black, so he must be lazy too, GOOD ONE!”
Depends on the circumstances in which I met this person
If it’s a friend of a friend, then I would not. No point pissing off someone close to my friend, who may get annoyed at me
But if its some kind of social gathering where we’re all strangers, I’d say something.
What if it were someone you just met who was packing your parachute?