Be a Verbal Ninja: Fight rudeness.

The BBQ Pit
1

I am so sick and tired of rude people.

I was taught as a child that you are supposed to be courteous to people you don’t know. Now, that doesn’t mean you have to go out of your way for people, but you are supposed to treat people as you want to be treated.

When I was younger, I was one of those smart-ass punks you see on the street. Yeah, we dressed funny, we acted strange, and we were loud and crazy and obnoxious. But, people were polite to us and we were polite to them. (Example: we never bothered people, but when tourists wanted to take pictures of us, we all smiled for the camera, even though we knew they were taking our picture so they could say, “hey, look at the freaks we saw!”) We grew up as a group of people that didn’t look at a person and judge them, and we learned to treat people as human beings, no matter what they looked like, or what they did.

Last night, I was at the gas station. I was standing in line, and there were two teenage girls in front of me. (I know they were teenaged because their shirts said James Island High School, Class of 2004.) A girl walked in front of them, pointed at the cashier, stopped, and then walked away. The cashier said, “why did that girl point at me? Did I do something to her?” and the other cashier said jokingly, “I don’t know, maybe you’re just a weirdo.” The girl in front of me immediately starts walking away and says “yeah, and that’s why you’ll always work in a gas station.”

First words out of my mouth, loud enough for her to hear: “Yup, and you’ll always be a bitch.” Why the hell did she feel the need to be rude? Who the hell is she to judge someone based on their job? Granted, I know my comment was out of line, also, but I am sick and tired of people thinking they can be rude to other people without consequences. The poor girl who was working behind the counter was just flabbergasted; I felt really bad for her.

The other night, I was hanging out with my ex and one of his co-workers. The co-w (as I’d like to refer to him) started making little comments. We were discussing what the average salary of an IT guy is here in Charleston, which is about $37,500. He made the comment, “I can’t imagine making less than $80,000, because I’ve been there for so long. And I’m only 26.” Ok. Probably bluffing, but he’s the head IT security guy for a worldwide company. He then told me that he didn’t know how anyone could live on less than $45K. So, I told him that I lived very comfortably on my salary, and it is way under $30K. He then proceded to ask me how old I was. “I’ll be 29 in March.” “You’re 29, you make under $30K, and you still go to bars?!?” he said, with obvious distaste for me. I was just aghast. How the fuck could this assmonkey make judgements on me when he only knows 3 details of my life?

I know it’s been going on forever, and I know there are more important things to be worried about, but when did it become acceptable to be downright rude to people? People that you don’t know, who are just doing their job, or walking down the street, or whatever? What the hell is wrong with society if this has become commonplace, and even acceptable?

I’m fed up with it up to here. (raises hand above head) A while back, there was a survey done that listed my hometown as one of the most polite cities in the United States. Feh. From what I’ve witnessed in the past couple of months, the credibility of that study is shot all to hell.

I read somewhere a long time ago that the purpose of a ninja is to go around battling people who make the world a bad place. Now, I’m in no shape to go to ninja school, but I would give everything I have to become a verbal ninja. I wish I could just appear out of nowhere when someone is being rude, slice them with a comment, and disappear back into the night. I don’t think that people realize that they are making this world a cruel place, and it’s not getting any better.

So, I appeal to you all. The next time someone is rude to you, tell them. Be plain, simple, and direct. Just say, “that was very rude.” Point it out, let them know. It may not do much (look how long the fight against ignorance is taking), but at least you will be doing your part to fight rudeness.

2

KUDO’S TO YOU YOUNG NINJA… when I was in Vallejo CA last year. I was at a fast food for breakfast waiting in line behind a 30 ish’ lady and her 5ish kid. the young lady behind the counter was very busy taking orders. The lady with the kid got to the counter and said (very rudely) scuse me you can take our orders now! at which point the young lady (who was very polite) said :“excuse me I am busy with this order " at which point the lady said: “you dont need to get smart-mouth with me, where’s your manager!” the mgr stepped in and said how can I help? the lady said :“this little girl is gettin smart with me” thats when I stepped in and said " no she isn’t, not even a little” at which point the lady said " I aint talkin to you" anyhow long story short ,the never-been-rude-to-me-young lady didn’t get in trouble and I felt good…

3

You go Skerri. I don’t think I would have used the term “bitch”; I think I may have used effing c*** or something to that effect.

The IT guy sounds more of an imbecile to me, but I cannot stand it when people go out of their way to make other people feel bad, as those farking teenage girls did. I’m right behind you, with my ninja staff ready for battle!

4

A couple of months ago I watched some guy utterly berate a post office employee over their check policy. He was being such a HUGE ASSHOLE. And I wanted to say “Gee, I didn’t know that feel-good civility we all enjoyed for awhile there after last year’s tragedies is already so dead and buried.” But I didn’t. I wish I did. I mean, when we can’t be civil to each other, what do we have? Fuck!

You have to real careful who you call on the carpet, however. I once witnessed an accident at a red light (in the lane next to me) where a guy was hit from behind and ended up hitting the car in front of him. Utterly blameless on his part, and it wasn’t a hard hit. The woman and her friend in the car jumped out, one of them screaming “son of A BITCH!” as she stomped back to see the damage. I mean, she looked like she was gonna blow. But I couldn’t believe what a goddamn fucking cunt she was being, so I (stupidly) rolled down my window and said “Look, I"m pretty sure this was an accident, maybe you should take a breath and calm down.” Hello. Wrong thing to say. If hse had had a gun (or even a rusty pocket knife) I’d be dead instead of here typing this. She snarled at me to roll up my window and mind my own fucking business. I told her it’s a damn good thing she was from out of town (Ohio plates) because her attitude wasn’t welcome in a town where intelligent people lived. Then I left. Fast, heh heh. Fucking cunt. I mean, if you can’t control your temper, don’t drive. If you don’t know how to be civil, go live in a cave somewhere and spare the rest of us. Please.

All this to say, preach it, sister.

5

There was a comic strip that appeared in the National Lampoon - Politenessman. He would appear when people were being rude and point out the error of their ways. Often the wrongdoers were struck first by his Stainless Steel Hankie (rather like a ninja throwing star). Usually (this being the National Lampoon) satire ran high. I remember one strip where a man was chastised for mocking a homosexual by holding a door open for him as if he were a women (remember back when men actually did this?) and told that homosexuals were still men and should be treated as such.

6

Agreed – Calling someone a bitch isnt what it used to be, she might consider it a compliament. The “C” word however, is currently the highest insult you can call a girl.

7

Grasshoppers, grasshoppers, you’ve got it all wrong. The trick is not to respond to rudeness with rudeness – that’s what they expect. It’s like meeting force with force. The secret is to respond to rudeness with assiduous, impecable politeness. This leaves the person you’re speaking to with no way to respond without making him or herself look worse. In my experience, it also usually confuses the person.

Skerri to the young IT hotshot, I would recommend something like “Ah yes. I can only aspire to your level.” I admit I can’t think of anything to the girl at the gas station of the top of my head. Then again, it is early and I’m a bit short on sleep. I do find a raised eyebrow works wonders. I’ve also said, “I’m sorry if I’ve displeased you in any way, sir.”

One last piece of advice. When using these tactics in America, I strongly suggest using a real or well-faked British accent. It once even provoked a rabid, Clinton-hating, “All Democrats are idiots” conservative into a reasonable discussion while the last election was still in dispute. Of course, he had a particular weakness for British accents, but that’s precisely why I strengthened mine before starting the conversation. (FTR, I was born in England, raised in the US, and my accent’s variable and hybrid.)

CJ
Veteran of way too many years in tourism and customer service

8

Can’t I just, like, kick 'em in the balls?

9

[nitpick]Of course, by leaving the scene, you missed out on a chance to act as a witness when the cops showed up[/nitpick].

Some people do not take kindly to being called on their rudeness.

10

I agree with cj. It’s more fun for me to play innocent and make people look like the jerks they are than to be impolite myself in response.

Once I was standing with a small group of acquaintences outside a store when this guy my fiance had previously worked with came up to me and said, “Hey, where’s your loser boyfriend?” (He didn’t know either of us well enough for that to be playful, he was just being a jerk.) So I said, “Hhhmmm?” like I hadn’t heard. “I said- where’s your loser boyfriend?” I said, “What?” with a semi-confused look on my face and he said, “I said- where’s your loser boyfriend?” And I again pretended I didn’t hear and said, “What’d you say?” And he actually repeated himself for a third time, “I said- where’s your loser boyfriend?” Then it hit him that he sounded like a complete asshole, and his face took on this wierd expression. And then with everyone around us looking at him like he was a piece of dogcrap on a banquet table I delivered the final blow- “I heard you the first time.” He turned to slink away in disgrace while everyone fell out around me laughing.

My Ninja style is :::innocent::: :smiley:

11

High animals = “OK, Your company created You. What have You created? Anything? Tell me fast, I want to know!”
or
“Is this the way Your shrink asked You to supress Your small ego?”

Bitches = “With that attitude You will continue beeing a C***-palanquin/Scaffolding…, for rest of Your life.”
(My English is not good enough but You can imagine a C*** carried around as her only occupation in this life.) Kan someone give the most “proper” word for it?

To authoroties that does not realise that they are working for You and not vice versa = “Take a job when You can produce something, or in the service-field, where You can learn how to treat people. Try McDonalds. They are the fastest teachers.”

And in the case of the lying customer (against the waitress).
Do not address the lier at all. Be like she would not be there, when You address the manager. If she opens her mouth, just tell that You are not speaking to people who attacks people which are in a position where they can hardly defend themself and You most certainly are not speaking with liers.

In this case You could also say: “Dear Madame, with You as an example, Your child will get as bad upbringing as You have got”.

OK, Folks!
Give us more situations and let us all be verbal Ninjas!

12

I like to say: “Thank you for sharing your innermost thoughts.”

13

Rudeness begins in your heart, and in your mind, in my opinion. People not thinking rude things about other people are less likely to yell at them in anger, I believe. I don’t think it’s a very big step from thinking rude things about someone to yelling it at them in anger. And I agree completely with responding with impeccable politeness to rudeness. You can ask someone to leave, ask them not to talk to you that way, or call the police on them, and do it all with a calm tone of voice and without name-calling. This gets much better results than any amount of yelling or responding in kind, and it’s easier on your own blood pressure. And it doesn’t run the risk of you being as big a jerk as the people you are responding to.

14

quote:

So, I appeal to you all. The next time someone is rude to you, tell them. Be plain, simple, and direct. Just say, “that was very rude.” Point it out, let them know. It may not do much (look how long the fight against ignorance is taking), but at least you will be doing your part to fight rudeness.

Why not do both?

“Excuse me, that was terribly rude of you.”

        • WHAM * * * *
15

The best response I can think of to the teenage girls (which of course, I would not be fast enough to think of if it happened to me) would be to point at them and laugh, just as one of them had done. Nothing more. Just make sure that your laugh and face show that you’re laughing AT them, not with them.

To me, rudeness appears on this board when people jump into the middle of a discussion, pick out one line from your post and attach a two word response “Cite Please”.

Now I view a discussion board as being rather like a large ballroom, where certain discussions are being held in different locations. We circulate among the topics, drink in hand, and “socialize”.

So imagine that some twip comes up to you after you’ve said something and says “Cite please”, demanding that you provide certified verifiable proof of everything you have said. What would be your response? What would you think of this person?

Well, that’s what I think of the self-righteous conversation stopping twips who pull that on this board.

If you don’t agree with what someone says, or doubt it, it isn’t very considerate (socially or conversationally) to demand that they stop the conversation and justify their statements to YOU.

16

Chimera: what, you’ve never gone to a party and been asked something along the lines of “Wow! Where’d you hear that?”

17

Jeff, that would be different. Much different. At least in that case, you are making some effort to show that you disagree and provoke converation on the topic. I could accept that. Heck, if the person doing so makes his/her case in a reasonable and non-hostile manner, most people might even change their opinion and/or gain a new friend/associate/acquaintence or some respect.

“Cite Please” is simply rude. At very minimum you’d get a passel of dirty looks and be ignored as a socially retarded jerk from that moment on. All it provides is a goddose (momentary dose of false godhood) for the aggressor.

18

Y’all simply must start reading Miss Manners more regularly. She is ever so skillfully adept at thwarting the rudeness of strangers, and still comes out making Martha Stewart look like Roseanne.

Esprix

19

Chimera, if I had provided everything already, I would just say “have you read what I wrote here, here, and here?” There’s a huge difference between asking someone for a cite for something and completely making snap judgments about someone.

My ex came in and read this thread, and thinks I was being too harsh on the co-w. Well, I happen to think that the co-w was being too harsh when he decided to base his whole opinion of me on three little statements.

I wish I had thought of pesch’s idea. I sure would have liked to kick that guy right in the junk.

20

You don’t say?? I was born in America and raised in the UK. I have the same hybrid accent. I don’t know that its been that good for me though. It makes me feel shy when people point it out, and more than once, I’ve been accused of being a “faker”.

And that’s just rude.