Or not. If a couple is same-sex, then the question refers to anybody who also happens to be of their same sex. And then you have the case where one or both happen to swing more than one way…
Add me to the “it depends on the person and on the context” field. I’ve got no problem with “my guy” noticing that there are other women in the world (I might get worried if his ideal girl turned out to be Cameron Díaz, since she and I have very little in common), I’ve known people who got mad if their SO complimented their own mother or sister (of either party), and there’s all kinds of “in between”.
Isn’t there a difference between “Wow, there’s a strikingly attractive person!” and “There’s someone I wanna get nekkid with!” Maybe it’s just me, but if I see a man I consider to be good-looking, I’m not setting him as a standard to judge my husband. Nor am I dreaming of hot, sweaty entanglements. Sometimes eye candy is just eye candy, and I would hope my comment would make that apparent. Vice-versa also.
My brother has been known to answer “oooh, I love the shirt on that guy!” with “does that mean I’m getting a shirt like that one? I’ll do my best to make it look good!”
Some people find it offensive, even if you don’t. Sure, we can all go up, down, and all around about how the other party shouldn’t be offended and why, but at the end of the day you have to decide if you’re going to respect the feelings of people around you even if (privately) you think they’re nonsense.
This sounds so silly that I’ve never mentioned it to anyone: I’ve always wanted a GF who was secure and comfortable enough, that if she saw a nice piece of eye candy, she would say something to me about it. Like say: “Wow, that Tome Hardy sure is a dream boat!”. And vice-versa.
I’ve known couples that have been married for over 20 years that are like that. And from my POV, they seem to have the most loving and secure relationships that I’ve ever seen.
Just wrote a whole response and deleted it. In a nutshell, no, I don’t think it’s wrong. If it makes someone else uncomfortable when you do that, that other person isn’t “wrong” for feeling that way. But it may be an indication that your personalities aren’t real compatible.
To give a personal anecdote: As a woman, I will sometimes comment when a guy is hot. My husband is totally cool with it, but some women chastise me (i.e., “you’re married, you shouldn’t be looking”). I just make a mental note to stop hanging out with those women as much.
My wife and I have been together 27 years. By this point, we have absolutely no reservation about telling each other whether we think someone else is attractive. She can (and does) tell me “I’d do him in a heartbeat and twice on Sunday,” and it doesn’t make me insecure at all. In fact, it’s great entertainment. And yes, I can say the same about another woman. Did I mention the 27 years thing?
Or the person hearing and the person speaking have different assumptions or different training. I don’t think it’s all that abnormal. (Otherwise this very discussion wouldn’t exist.)
As a woman, if a friend (man or woman) said something like that to me, I wouldn’t be bothered at all.
Especially if it’s a man I’m not dating/in a relationship with.
Why should I be insulted because a friend commented on finding someone else attractive?
Caveat: It can get skeevy. Said to often, with a leer, or by someone that is not a close friend, it can be bad.
I’ll do my best to make it look good!”