Ahh, the saying don’t judge a book by it’s cover…bullshit. I do not have the time to read every book. I’ve been wrong in the past and was more than willing to change my perception of that person, but looking a certain way is a conscious choice (I mean clothes, tattoos, piercings and the like) and should expect (and often encourage) a certain reaction.
Of course you don’t, and I think everyone probably does judge books by their covers.
My qualm is that with books, who cares if I avoid one that might be good? It doesn’t hurt a book to be scorned.
People, though, can be harmed this way. I know a number of people in this thread have said that they do judge but that they treat the people they’ve judged harshly the same as the people they haven’t. I don’t believe that’s actually possible. I don’t think most (any?) of us can feel contempt for someone and not show it.
Edited to add: That sort’ve sounds like I think that I don’t judge, but I know that I do. I also know that when I do, it shows. I don’t want it to show, but it does.
I’m kinda surprised by the number of people in this thread who are prejudiced against people with tattoos.
Someone sporting a full-body conflagaration that rivals the Sistine Chapel in melodramatic complexity and detail I grant you is probably someone who is asking for whatever raised eyebrows come his or her way.
But a small piece of ink on an ankle or bicep? That’s on par with women wearing pants to me.
What surprises me is how upfront some people are about their prejudices.
I was asked to give a technical talk at a trade association conference a few years back. I dressed in my usual attire (clean and well-groomed, of course): jeans, cowboy boots, belt with rodeo buckle, long-sleeved Western shirt (dressy but not flashy), and cowboy hat.
After the talk, a fellow came up to me and said, “What a great talk! You really know what you’re talking about. I almost didn’t come in because I saw your hat and figured you’d be an ignorant hick, but I’m sure glad I did.”
I was stunned. I didn’t call him a prick. I didn’t ask why his ignorant worldview didn’t allow for someone to own a ranch, compete in a rodeo, and still have technical skills. I didn’t drop my pants and ask if he wanted to make any value judgments based on my Led Zeppelin underwear. I just told him you can’t judge a book by its cover and walked away.
It’s clear from reading this thread that a lot of you would form snap judgments on someone’s technical ability from their clothing, but would you actually say something like that to a person’s face?
Basically, if it’s just a certain amount of personal expression, then it’s fine by me- I know quite a few professional women (senior legal secretaries, paralegals, accounting managers, architects speech therapists, etc…) who have pierced bellybuttons, ears, and I believe a couple have pierced nipples, from what I’ve heard. Most have a few tattoos as well, but none are tattooed anywhere that would preclude them from having a normal appearance under most circumstances.
On the other hand, the extremely heavily tattooed people, or people with bizarre tattoos are the ones who I’m kind of judgemental of. The main judgement is that they’re kind of stupid; having a large portion of your body obviously tattooed can be somewhat career limiting, and it seems kind of dumb to not take this into account when you’re younger, or when you should know better when you’re older.
The image you make of yourself, as far as things like clothing, piercings, or tattoos are concerned, is a choice. Why should I not allow myself to be at least a little influenced by the image that people wish to convey? That’s the point of their choices.
Right now, as I loaf around my apartment, I’m wearing baggy jeans and a blue wifebeater on its second wearing, with dark maroon bra straps hanging out (she who hits the Vicky’s Secret clearance sale can’t be too picky about colors). I’m barefoot, my hair is sloppy, and the tattoo on my arm is showing. I might head over to Starbucks to grab a latte and get some work done dressed like this – since I don’t really mind if people think of me as being a bit sloppily dressed. (Though I would try to hide the bra straps.)
When I teach, however, I wear well-fitting jeans or slacks and a nice t-shirt or tank with a tailored button-down shirt over it. None of my students ever see my tattoos. Most don’t notice I have a small piercing in one tragus (the bump in front of your earhole). I keep my hair in order, I wear small, tasteful jewelery, and I keep my underwear under. This is because I want to project the image of someone who takes the time to prepare herself to stand in front of a classroom to go over material and answer questions. I also want to project the image that I’m not just another undergrad on campus, but a grad student who is invested in the future of the school.
Does this mean I blend in with a huge crowd of officedrone-looking people? Not at all. Sometimes I’ll wear a shirt with something geeky on it, like a diagram of a caffeine molecule or a World of Warcraft logo. When I wear a skirt, it’s with knee-high argyle or striped socks (also hides the tattoo on my calf). Sometimes I wear a pair of tweed sneakers or Maryjanes instead of plain dress shoes. Sometimes I wear my gigantic star map watch, or the G-Shock with the tide display on it. I choose these because they also project an image of my choosing: that of someone who, though professional, still likes some geeky things and plays around with fun-looking clothes. Someone who’s only about ten years older than her students, so her frame of reference isn’t entirely different.
As an inked person, do I judge other people on their tattoos? You bet I do. My two tattoos are custom designs with a lot of personal meaning. The one on my arm, which shows most often, is in memory of my great-grandmother, who was a medicine woman. It took me quite some time to design, and I paid a lot of money to make sure it was inked by a skilled artist. Did I get it knowing that some people would view me negatively? Yes. That’s their choice. FWIW, nobody has ever expressed a negative opinion to my face. I also placed it where it is specifically so that it would be easy to hide for job purposes.
When I see people with poorly-done, racist, misspelled, or poorly-chosen tattoos, I do start to form an opinion of them. If I see a guy with “aryan pride” on his neck, I’m not really interested in talking to him to find out if he’s actually a very nice accountant. If I see a person with a tattoo of a cat placed so his navel is the cat’s bunghole, I don’t really feel like asking him if there’s some deep personal meaning. If I see someone my age who’s already got both arms “sleeved”, with tats on the neck and hands and maybe even face, I figure either they’re already settled in a career or lifestyle where these are not a hindrance, or they failed to consider their decisions thoroughly.
I do also have the prevailing negative attitude toward “ass antlers”, the lower-back tattoos, but this is mainly because I never see any that are at all interesting, meaningful, or creative. They all look like flash picked off the wall. If I saw a lower-back tattoo that seemed to mean something, I would revise my opinion.
Sweet jeebus toast that’s a long post. Sorry to get all Tolstoy on y’all …
Dragonblink, your post was awesome…a lot of excellent points made. Your first paragraph, especially, hits exactly what I was trying to say earlier, but you said it much better than I did…every choice we make in how we present ourselves is to define an image that we want the world to see. Naturally, some people will be attracted to that image, and some will be turned off…and that’s true of ANY image, no matter how clean-cut, or how radical.
I think everyone may be talking about different things here. The OP asks is it wrong to judge people based on what they put on their bodies, and what kind of judging and what is specifically meant by the question is open to interpretation. Do you judge an applicant applying for a corporate position with 5 rings in their nose for instance? Of course you do and you’re lying if you say you don’t. I specifically am not saying I judge people to not be worth my time on just seeing them, but based on the circumstances you make choices based on available information. Is a guy with hippie clothes and dreadlocks more likely to sell me weed? Is the woman in fishnets more likely to be easy? The BMW parked in my spot is more likely owned by the guy in the Armani.
You’re taking my statement out of context. Please read my entire post and you’ll see what I meant.