For starters, I’m a woman.
What is wrong with simply sitting silently while the religious in the lot speak their bit, and then getting on with the meal? That’s simple courtesy. To bow your head is to pretend you’re buying into something so people won’t be mad at your or drop dead of a religious heart attack because someone doesn’t believe the same way they do.
Or does granny then turn around and pretend to be an atheist for you? Heh. Fucking ridiculous.
Sitting silent while someone expresses his or her religious beliefs at a table of mixed faiths is polite. The same as not talking over someone else is polite. Bowing one’s head to imitate prayer is called “bullshitting the old people.” The old people who obviously don’t return the respect they demand of you.
Maybe if Shakes’s family didn’t lead the woman to believe everyone was something they’re not, they wouldn’t be in this predicament. Now, no one knows who anyone really is, and everyone puts on a facade. I don’t know his grandma, but my guess is that if she’s sitting at the table conversing and dining with the family, she’s not as frail as some people might think. I have never heard of anyone dying because a family member didn’t hold the same faith as everyone else. I mean, really…
Who said anything about making a production out of it? They’re the ones making a mountain out of a molehill – what, with all the acting and bullshitting going on. Its a wonder anyone can keep it all straight! Look, if she asks why you’re not praying, tell her. I guarantee she’ll live through the horrible news.
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Doesn’t it hurt YOUR feelings to know they judge your whole person by your faith? What if you were a devout Jew or Muslim? Would that put you in the “bad” column?
Yes, it is. And I’m here to tell you first-hand, that the de-programming is taking decades! 
I’m saving this one for the door-to-door Mormons/JWs. Priceless.
As for your situation, SHAKES, I can empathize. It was very difficult for me to come out as a Socialist to my staunch Republican grandmother, years ago now. I can’t offer much to you besides what others have written - if you’re asked to do something that makes you uncomfortable or contradicts your personal philosophy, weasel out of it as tactfully as you can and leave it at that unless and until Grandma asks you why. And once it’s out in the open, by all means don’t avoid discussion (my grandma and I had a very civil discussion on the war in Iraq when I saw her last Christmas) but don’t allow Grandma to pit you just for being an atheist, either. If she can’t help being intolerant about it, just say you don’t want to discuss the subject with her anymore. Period. Then the ball’s in Grandma’s court as to where to go from there.
I think Kalhoun’s right, but that was probably obvious to begin with. Apparently it’s more okay to bullshit old people.
Yes, in this context, it does. You’re telling SHAKES to keep quiet about his views and bow his head to make grandma assume that he’s praying and avoid a conflict. Maybe it’s a white lie, but encouraging people to assume things about you is a form of lying.
They certainly don’t have to agree, but telling people your opinion when they ask you to do something contrary to it is not aggressive. If you’re a vegetarian and somebody gives you a steak at dinner, are is saying “I don’t eat meat” ‘being aggressive?’ Maybe lying keeps the peace in the family, but I don’t know if that peace of mind is really worthwhile if you have to lie for it.
I assume that grandma came to her religious views after some serious brainwashing (as most people do). Maybe she’d be relieved to finally be “off the hook” so to speak. Maybe she’s always found the pomp and circumstance of religion to be limiting and silly. Maybe she’s been looking for an out for a long time! If you don’t discuss religion in an open, healthy manner, you’ll never know. Everyone will continue on like lemmings, never thinking…always following the others over the cliff. If you’re fine with that – hey…it’s your business. But it’s still lying.
And again…I’d like to stress that I really don’t think granny will die when you tell her you’ve chosen another path. She may well feel that she’s lost her power over you (but then you knew that, didn’t you?), but she won’t die.
It might be interesting to observe Mikhail Gorbachev at Reagan’s funeral. To see how an atheist with tact conducts himself when surrounded by the trappings of religion.
I vote for saying your just “not really that religious.” It wouldn’t be a lie anyhow.