The love that dare not squeak its name.
I believe the problem with the aquatic ape theory is that when animals go to sea, their hind legs tend to degenerate and become weaker, but ours are strong enough to support our body weight.
In one of his books, Dr. John Lilly very matter-of-factly talked about how his assistant masturbated one of their captive dolphins. I remember thinking, “John, John, John, you really need to get out of the lab more often. . .”
Dammit, you owe me a new monitor, a cup of tea and a roll of paper towels!
In all seriousness, there have been people banned from the dolphin petting pool at SeaWorld for inappropriate touching of the animals. (Sparing you the details, let’s say that human hands and dolphin orifices should not mix unless you are a professional veterinarian on a medical call).
And after watching thes animals go at it with each other, I certainly would not partake of interspecies intercourse with any of 'em. They are strong, they are large (both in body and penile size), they are uninhibited, and I don’t think I could hold my breath for 10 minutes.
There was that idiot at the Pittsburgh Zoo who climbed up on the fence, pushed opent he door, and just tried to pet a dolphin, Chuckles. He bit her…stupid idiot!
I believe Carl Hiassen “did in” a bad guy in one of his novels with a randy dolphin. That was an interesting read…