Is Jessica Simpson Hot, Er, Uh, Dyslexic?

Okay. I’ll say it. Jessica Simpson is hot. She’s also intelligent in her own, er, uh, way.

But is she dyslexic? A couple examples. In each instance she was serious.

Instead of saying, “cochroach,” she said [phonetically], “coke-a-da-roach.”

She thought, “comraderie,” was synonomous with, “attention,” and, “accolade.”

She thought the correct pronounciation was, “platamapus.”

Are these serious signs of dyslexia, or some other sort of learning disability?

Maybe she’s just acting that way for the cameras so that MTV can do what it does best: make a zillion dollars.

Difficulty with speech is a symptom of dyslexia, but as TJdude825 says, there is no way to tell when Simpson is “serious” and when she is mugging for the cameras.

Why do people assume that when they see someone famous acting stupid, they’re probably faking it? My guess is that Jessica Simpson is exactly what she appears to be; an attractive young woman with a decent singing voice and minimal intelligence. Nothing to be ashamed of. It puts her one step ahead of Paris Hilton, who’s never demonstrated any musical talent.

Someone as stupid as Ms. Simpson appears to be on her show would be living in an assisted living institution and would have considerable difficulty driving or dressing themselves. It’s inconceivable that she could be that imbecilic but be a functioning, independent adult.

Either she’s faking it or (much likelier) the show is heavily edited to make her look dumber than she is.

I could make a joke here, but this is a clean forum.

“Functioning, independent adult?” Where???

You think she manages her own finances? Writes a monthly cheque for the mortgage herself? Cleans her own toilet? Makes her own meals?

(Her hubby Nick got pissed because they order in for every meal. She’d gone grocery shopping “because it makes her feel normal” but hadn’t actually got anything they could use to make even a simple breakfast meal.)

In no way is she functioning as an independent adult. She’s more like a vapid sixteen year old who can dress heself, fawn over fancy new make-up, and can legally drive a car to the mall. But otherwise all the important “grown-up stuff” is managed by real grown-ups.

You people have never met someone this stupid in real life? Boy, you guys are lucky.

I have. It would drive me insane to have deal with someone like this on a daily basis.

I was actually looking for a more scientific approach than what I have seen so far. True, MTV could be heavily editing the episodes. Now, I’m no master of the English language, but I can go more than a week without mixing up definitions and mispronouncing words. So, seriously, is Jessica Simpson exhibiting signs of dyslexia, or some other type of learning disability?

A whole week? I’m lucky if I can go twenty minutes without doing something like that, at least verbally. I don’t have any kind of a learning disorder, and I fancy myself to be reasonably intelligent and well-read. I just suck at speaking.

Much better at typing, thank God.

Apologies for resurrecting the thread, but having caught up on the last three episodes of Newlyweds I had a thought or two. The key to understanding whether Jessica Simpson is joking or just dim is to watch Nick Lachey’s response to whatever she says. More often than not, it’s a look of pity and self-loathing, which indicates to me that she’s just dumb and unafraid to flaunt it, not learning disabled. When she says something deliberately for attention, if Nick’s around he calls her on it.

Moreover, Jessica seems to have absolutely no ambitions for enhancing her mind or seriously learning about anything other than the definition of teabagging (OK, I’ll cut her some slack on that one, but she was discussing it with her mother so I’ll throw it back out again.), how many pretty outfits she can buy for a dog, and whether brats are made from pork or beef. Their McMansion appears completely devoid of books. I have never seen her read the paper or demonstrate even the slightest grasp of current events.

You know how muscles atrophy when you don’t use them? Jessica’s mind is like such a muscle. It never has an opportunity to be used or exercised, and therefore when she attempts pronouncing or defining multisyllabic words she fumbles and drops them with all the dexterity of a shriveled, withered arm.

I saw Tucker Carlson on C-SPAN once. He said that an interesting thing about television is that in real life, people are the way they seem on television—IIRC, even more so. I don’t recall if he was referring to a narrowly defined set of television types. Nevertheless, it is an interesting remark.