It’s not like I want to end life, so don’t think this is some kind of suicidal, pity-me rant. I’m just bored right now. I love my wife and child to death. But, there’s nothing else in my life right now. We live kind of far from friends, at least far enough when you have to care and account for a 7-month-old baby 24-7.
I think part of the problem is that we don’t really have anybody to look after our baby if we wanted to go out on the town – or anywhere where children aren’t welcome, for that matter. My Mom is the closest family we’d even think about allowing to watch our child, but she shows little interest in that. She just likes to see her grandchild, play with her, and, well, that’s it. Mom has never shown a keen interest in taking care of our baby. She’s never offered to do that so we can go out for the night.
We’ve kept busy looking for a new house, but now that a recent deal for a house fell through, I came to the revelation that I’m just bored right now. I was so looking forward to fixing up a new home. Now, it’s the same old apartment.
I think perhaps you’re feeling a sort of post-deal letdown and it all comes crashing in on you.
I went through a phase about a year ago where for a good three months I was just in a moping, semi-depressed haze wondering what the hell I was supposed to be doing with my life.
You know what I did? I just decided that every day, even if it was for only five minutes (which is probably all you have with a little baby), I was going to do something new and fun and interesting.
And they were tiny things. I bought a sketch book and colored pencils to practice drawing, I tried new and different foods, read new books, took walks on the beach near my office, went to museums on free days. I just made it a priority.
I didn’t plan on kayaking across the atlantic, I just wanted to do something different, and it really really helped.
So, I’m confident you’ll break out soon…just try to help it along five minutes at a time. You may discover something you love and are enthusiastic about that doesn’t even demand you leave your house!
jarbaby
Maybe you’re right, jarbabyj. The letdown over the house is weighing heavily here. I’ll try to take your advice on stealing a few minutes here and there. But, one night out on the town sure wouldn’t hurt.
My $0.02 - I had a house deal fall through last year, and it weighed heavily on me, but then the house sold for more than I was asking for two weeks later. I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason; this deal falls through, then an incredible opportunity falls in your lap two weeks later. Keep your chin up, Sparky.
About the boredom issue; jarbaby is right on the money. Take a little time, and think of small things that interest you. It could be something as silly as buying a new toy for yourself that you always wanted as a kid (thanks, Redboss, for that idea, btw) - and hey! you can pretend it’s for the baby! When I was unemployed one summer, I made a point of visiting every park in Calgary. It was great - I discovered parks that I still go to, that I would never have gone to if not for my resolution. Oh, and if you’re a handy kinda person, maybe you could scour garage sales for old furniture that you can refinish while you’re waiting for your big project to come through.
I have heard people recommend going to your local church to look for a babysitter. I don’t know if you’re religious, but it might be worth looking into to see if there are any teeny-agers looking for some babysitting.
Another baby-sitter option - we left our daughter with one of her daycare providers - the woman was grateful for a few extra dollars and we knew the caregiver was reliable.
Do find a sitter you trust, tho, and get out for some childless fun. Much as I love my kid, I relished the evenings when my husband and I didn’t have to tote a stroller and diaper bag. Couplehood is at least as much a responsibility as parenthood… and it’s great for maintaining your balance and sanity!
My wife stays home with our child. We don’t know any babysitters personally. We’re a little scared leaving a baby with someone we don’t fully trust before she has the ability to communicate that something wrong happened to her. My wife and I are a little paranoid when it comes to Jessica. Maybe we’re over-protective, but we’d rather err on that side during this part of her childhood.