I am almost always opposed to lying but let’s face it, punishing your children is basically punishing yourself and I avoid it if I can by lying to them. Let me explain. My children were acting up in the car really bad and just basically ignoring my attempt at calming them down. Finally I told them that that was it and was taking “Bill”, my kid cousin home (they were riled up because he was with us.) The kicker is that we were already on our way to take him home. But my kids didn’t know that being age 6 and under. So they got punished for not listening and I wasn’t inconvenienced in any way.
I have also turned an already planned outing into a specific reward for something they did. My husband has a moral issue with this but is slowly coming around to my way of thinking. I like to think of it as creative resourceful-ness that won;t last much longer as they get older and wiser. So what do you think? Should I start saving now for their therapy later?
:dubious:
Father of five here. The problem I have is that if you tell your kid to behave and the get to go on an outing, you have to cancel the outing if they don’t behave. If they realize they get a reward, without the act, you have problems. In which case, you aren’t lying.
And here I thought this would be about Santa Clause. :smack:
See, that’s the whole point. I would NEVER threaten something and not follow through with it. I wouldn’t tell them that IF they behaved they would go on this already planned outing I would only offer it as a reward for something they have just accomplished. That’s the beauty of it. The followthrough has already been taken care of. I wouldn’t, however, hesitate to back out of something already planned if they are being heinous cretins.
And yes, as a matter of fact, I have a little problem with Santa. I think they have WAY too much stuff already and then lying on top of it about a guy who brings yet more stuff to litter their floor with. But I need to let it go. I have good kids that are empathetic (is that a word?) toward others and I loved the idea of Santa when I was little. I wouldn’t take the experience away from them.
Your first story is a shining example of quick thinking. Good job! :thumbs up:
Your second story leaves it unclear as to whether the kids knew about the outing before you rewarded them with it. If not, good thinking! :thumbs up: If so, then that can be problematical. At the very least, your kids will think you unfair and they’ll be right.