I am not sure what to do with this, so I thought I’d ask for opinions.
My ex-husband has a hot tub at his house, and he and my 6-year-old son go in it frequently. During the recent snowstorm, my ex shoveled a path to the hot tub and they got in. My son thought it was very funny to be in the hot tub in the snow.
His dad had taken pictures of him in the hot tub, and he printed one off and my son took it to school to show the kids what he did while school was closed. The photo showed the whole hot tub (standard cedar backyard hot tub) from about 10 feet away, with my son’s head peeking over the top.
Today, I received this email from his teacher:
“Dear Mrs. Divine,
(Son) was very excited to share his snow-day picture with us. (Son) explained he went into the hot tub during the blizzard. A student then asked him what he was wearing. (Son) replied he was naked in the hot tub. If I had known this, I would not have allowed (Son) to share the picture. I let him know that naked pictures are inappropriate.
Eventhough the picture only showed (Son)'s head and chest, I would like to request that he no longer share pictures in school that may be inappropriate. Thank you for understanding.”
?!?!?!?!?!!?!?
Naked picture? of his HEAD?!?!?! And I’m naked under my clothes, too!
I just thought this was a ridiculous overreaction. And she had a TALK with my son about the INAPPROPRIATE PICTURE!
I am not sure whether or not to let this pass, to write back, to discuss it in person with the teacher, or speak to the principal. I will note that this teacher is very young, it’s her first teaching assignment, so she may be oversensitive. But I admit that I am CHAPPED about this, and I am not sure if I should be. What would you all do?
I don’t know what to tell you, but if it were me…I’d be upset too. That has to be one of the most ridiculous things I have heard (it would be totally different if even your son’s chest or torso was visible in the picture).
I am a reactionary and overprotective parent though; I blew things out of proportion many times when my children were young, so keep that in mind when I tell you I would definitely talk to both the teacher and the principal (preferably together) and would demand an apology and better explanation to son who did nothing wrong.
I would most certainly mention this to the principal at the school!
First of all, that is total overreaction - plus, it is not like there were ten lecherous men sitting in the pool with him drooling at his little nekkid body- he was with his father!
However, the main reason I would talk to someone is to nip this in the bud - right now that teacher thinks your son is a prime subject for pedophilia or godknowswhat, and she is going to read every single thing your kid does as further “proof” that he comes from an inappropriate environment.
“OMG, he drew a tree with no leaves and big roots! You know what that means!!!”
Who knows what she will be putting in his file?!
I think a little parent/principal conversation is in order - make it nice, say you think this teacher is new and overreacting and otherwise quite nice - but make it clear you don’t want any hint of hanky-panky surrounding your son based upon this ridiculous situation with an oversensitive teacher.
You should respond with a letter pointing out that the crack this woman is obviously smoking on the job is not only a crime to possess, but wholly age-inappropriate for her students to see, and that you didn’t appreciate being made to lie to your son when he asked about “teacher’s sugar cubes”. (Okay, you shouldn’t do that, but I’d give you a dollar if you did.)
More seriously, tell your son that his teacher was mistaken – make sure he understands he didn’t do anything wrong – but that he shouldn’t bring it up again. From that point, both of you give her asinine stance all the attention and respect it deserves (ie, none at all).
I would definately talk to the principal and document everything or the next time he mentions at school that he acident walked in on you or your husband changing, Child Services will be dragging him away.
The teacher is probably worried that she might have a legal duty to report some kind of suspected child porn stuff. And she probably does. Dad should not be taking pictures of son for passing around when son is naked. Remember that presumably there were other pictures and that the camera was around when he was more exposed to the lens. Yes, this was probably harmless, but he teacher could be charged if it wasn’t reported.
I kind of feel like I should respond SOMEHOW - if I don’t say anything, it seems like I am agreeing with her.
I’m angry that she made my son feel bad when he did nothing wrong.
This is not the first time she has done what I believe to be “rookie teacher” mistakes. For example, my son has trouble with his handwriting (he’s in first grade) and she kept writing “SLOPPY” on his papers. I wrote a note that said, “Instead of writing the negative “SLOPPY”, would you please write “PLEASE BE NEATER” or something less critical, more encouraging?” She did not respond and continues to write SLOPPY on his papers.
I have tried to be understanding that she is learning, but this just took the cake.
The teacher is overreacting and I think that next time you are talking with the principal, it would be appropriate for you to mention the incident and to explain why the teacher’s intervention was hurtful to your child and his family relationships. But try to do it without making a federal case out of it.
His dad only got the camera out to take one picture of him in the hot tub, with the big piles of snow all around. It wasn’t like he was taking a series of naked photos for a pictorial.
I agree that the teachers have a duty to report, and I don’t think this went any further than this email (no report to DYFS, no report to principal, etc.). But I am annoyed that she embarrassed my son for no reason. My “momma bear protecting the baby bear” instincts are coming out.
“Here’s a picture of me and the wife wearing robes at our spa vacation.”
“Looks like a nice place. What are you wearing under the robes?”
“Nothing.”
“Holy cow! You can’t be showing pictures like that around here! We could both get fired! Put those away right now!”
Even if your son’s full chest had been showing, that’s not odd- most folks don’t exactly wear shirts with their bathing suits (men, I mean).
Personally, I’d write up my complaint so it would be detailed and complete- explain the fact that while this teacher is a nice woman, she has made several errors that have directly- in your opinion- caused some harm to your son. You’re upset, yes, but not unreasonably so. I’d explain the writing thing and how your concern and suggestion went fully ignored. I’d then explain the hottub thing and how she was vastly out of line to try to shame your son about something wholly appropriate.
Teachers are accountable to parents and the admin- and even if she thought your concern about the writing was utterly ridiculous, she had an obligation to explain to you why she felt you were incorrect and she was doing the right thing.
Send the kid to school with a hat with a note pinned to it and when the teacher asks him to remove it have him give her the the note apologizing for his naked head. Included one of these :dubious: in the note.
