You’re both committing faux pas. A tie is part of your work attire. You should both arrive at your desk fully clothed.
It’s not a “private” activity – you could put on your tie at home in front of your wife, kids, their friends, the milkman, whoever – but you should arrive at work dressed for work.
I think it’s something you should do in private. It looks unprofessional to show up only half-attired for your day.
For example, I don’t put on my makeup in the morning until I get to work–but I do it in my car, in the parking lot. I have seen women put it on at their desks, and it looks bad. Partly because they are already on the clock (or are perceived to be), and partly because it just looks shabby/unprepared.
I’d say, put it on in your car before you go inside.
I heartily agree. Nevertheless, welcome to the real world where employers get to dictate any number of personal choices that have no impact on your ability to perform the duties of the job, in exchange for their money. One guy can be totally competent and self confident and send entirely justified and symbolic "fuck you"s to the boss, but the guy who puts his costume on at home and shows up to work, ready to work, gets the cookies. It’s a matter of living on your knees or dying on your feet to some extent. I never said it was right.
That metaphor has nothing to do with a tie. It has everything with being perceived as organized, put-together, and serious about the business at hand…or not. But yes, there is a lot of meaning in a tie. I’ve known lawyers to omit them specifically as a show of disrespect for another lawyer–“they’re not worth dressing up for.”
Because of what you said, I just realized that the difference between changing shoes/putting on a jacket and putting on makeup is the the former looks like “I did it this way on purpose” and the latter looks like “I did it this way because I ran out of time.”
I think if I saw someone putting on a tie after getting to work, I’d likely think they ran out of time and are scrambling to get it finished while at work. If I knew they were only putting it on a noon, say, for an important lunch, then it wouldn’t have any negative connotation of poor time management.
This is still going to be a cultural thing, I think.
Putting on a tie at work is uncouth. If the situation calls for it, it should be done just like putting on socks.
No, there are practical reasons for those.
This is nearly word for word what I was going to say.
As an aside, I’ve never really understood the animosity towards wearing ties.
On further thought–because so many men object to being required to wear a tie, putting it on while at your desk could look like you’re doing it “in a huff” and making a big show of how stupid you think the requirement is. Which might not endear you to your boss.
I’m very fortunate that my workplace doesn’t care about most of the stuff upthread. I often walk to work, in dress pants. dress shirt, and hiking boots or shoes, which I change into dress shoes at my desk.
I could wear jeans at work, unless I was meeting a customer, at which point my choice of dress would be dictated by the situation. I’m also old-school enough that I don’t wear jeans (though I could). But I’m not quite old-school enough to wear a tie unless it’s required.
So no-one would care if I took off or put on a tie at my desk, which we’ve all done at various times. Fortunately all of the symbolism is a non-issue where I work.
The entire point of being required to wear a tie at the office is that you’re expected to wear a tie the entire time you’re there, from when you walk in the front door. If you walk in looking like an underpaid wage slave slob, work your way back to your office, and stand there while you finish getting dressed for work, that’s not a good thing.
That’s not true of many jobs, where you might spend most of your work day in an office away from the public, and where you are not expected to wear a tie. However, you might occasionally meet a client, and be expected to wear a tie then. In that case, it seems to me appropriate to put your tie on at your desk, but not to put your tie on in front of the client.
I think in most circumstances it would be no big deal. If your office environment is on the formal side and/or you might be in view of clients, probably better not to. If your boss makes a “joke” about how you must have been running late that day, that’s of course a hint not to. It wouldn’t bother me personally.
It wouldn’t bother me if I saw someone putting on a tie at their desk. However, if it is known in advance that you’re required to wear one, I think I’d show up wearing it. If you’re putting it on every day at work, that would show me you’re either making a statement about resenting the dress code or are always running so late, you don’t have time to get dressed. I had a couple of roommates in college and my early 20’s that were like that, whacking the alarm until the last possible second and rushing around like a maniac in the morning, and needing everything to go their way to show up to work with no time to spare.
If it’s a situation when you’re putting on a tie for a short period of time for a meeting, lunch, or tour, then that’s fine at the desk, although I’d still check myself in a mirror.