It seems like it, but I just wanted to make sure.
My father straightened me out on this about 50 years ago. It was as bad as the “n-word” or the “w-word” for Italians or the “s-word” for Hispanics. So I’m still not 100% comfortable using the “q-word.” Bring me up to date. Thx.
Gay man weighing in. Just my opinion, obviously:
That’s very helpful–thanks! Lots of nuance there.
I kinda thought it might be something like this. I will probably continue to refrain from using the word. 
It appears to have been largely reclaimed from its former use as a pejorative. As with many things, safe usage likely depends heavily on context.
I’m like the OP. I grew up in an era when calling somebody a queer was a grave insult. So even though there are people nowadays who have no problem using the word to describe themselves, I’m not comfortable using it.
It is not like the n-word is now (even though some rappers and other folks may use that word in reference to themselves). It’s more like saying “dyke”. You can say “dyke” now without being one but doing so will prompt a lot of attention to your tone of voice and the context in which you said it.
Apropos of using these terms to refer to oneself: there’s an Italian sub shop here that makes a really good salad that they call “The W*p Salad.” I can never bring myself to order it out loud. I just point to it on the menu.
I agree that it depends on age, but it is mostly fine depending on the context. My boss, a gay man in his late 60s, hates the word and looked shocked the one time I used it around him. I also have an older (50+ish ?) lesbian coworker that is actually quite a conservative person and also hates it. All of my other friends (and most of them are some stripe of LGBTQAI+) that are under 40 either use the word or don’t care. We’re mostly art weirdos though, so I don’t know how much this applies to the real world.
In my experience, I don’t agree that queer isn’t synonymous with gay, lesbian, etc. I think it can be its own thing but it’s also shorthand for all of it - gay, lesbian, agender, etc. For instance, “queer fiction” could encompass all the LGBT+ spectrum.
I work at a university and would say the college students here use “queer” almost as much or more than other descriptors, mainly because it seems to embrace gender fluid and trans identities a little easier, and today’s college kids seem very interested in exploring all of their possibilities. Personally, I identify as queer because I think it sounds better than pansexual.
I’ll be the first to ridicule anybody grieving the loss of “gay” as a synonym for the word “happy”, but, damn it, “queer” is just a really great word for “not quite right”.
Being an old guy, I’m most comfortable using “gay” to refer to myself, but I fully support the use of “queer” by younger people who don’t have such baggage.
Similarly, I have baggage around the word “Jew”.
Last year my (mainline Protestant) church was interviewing candidates for minister. One of them self-identified as “queer.” The search committee members all had to go to their college-age children and ask what exactly she meant by that.
On some radio interview a while back the guy being interviewed said although he was in the Tribe, he wasn’t all that observant of Judaism and its traditions. He considered himself “Jew-ish.” 
My niece defines herself as queer. She has had relationships with men previously but her partner of 3 or 4 years is a woman who refers to herself as a lesbian.
I would still avoid it in conversation with someone I didn’t know and knew that I wasn’t using it pejoratively.
I’m not you obviously, but here’s my take on that word, and a heck of a lot of other words in the whole sex / gender / identification / preference complex.
I’d be really leery of using the word because a) I don’t know what it “really” means, and b) I’m darn sure that out of audience of 10 random people, there’s about 12 conflicting definitions and overtones, some of which I wouldn’t ever want to use, and c) I have no idea which of those 10 people will have the bad interpretation.
A single data point, but there is a gay guy in another site I read (smaller site than this, long-term regular users) who is in I think his early 60s who really, really hates seeing the slur he grew up hearing being used in any form now.
Splitting hairs here, but I would never refer to someone as “a queer.” I have a lot of queer friends who use the term (“I’m queer,” “I follow the queer scene,” etc.) but I think referring to anyone as “a queer” would be seen as insulting, even by folks who use “queer” as a descriptor.
Interesting point of distinction. Makes sense.
Yeah, there’s definitely a generational divide.
I like the term, which I mostly see used as a catch-all for sexual minorities of many stripes. But I am careful about using it, because some of my older friends would find it unpleasant to hear. On the other hand, some of my younger friends fight over who can call themselves “queer” and get annoyed if they are excluded from other people’s definitions.
I agree with infovore that I can’t recall seeing “queer” used kindly as a noun. But I’ve often seen it used as any adjective by people who identify as such and by groups who cater to such people. For instance, a friend used to go to a “queer dinner church”.
So a person can be okay with being called a queer man or a queer woman but have a problem with being called a male queer or a female queer?
This is why people my age just avoid the whole issue.
I make exactly the same distinction. I have evolved to accept it as an adjective, but I’d never refer to myself as “a queer.” Brings up too much crap from the '50s.