Is seducing a mildly retarded person immoral if she enjoys sex?

No, this opportunity is not presenting itself, and IMO if it did it would be a pretty grotesque thing to do, but is it an immoral thing to do if the mildly retarded woman enjoyed sexual contact just like a normally intelligent woman?

What’s her mental age equivalent? If it’s that of a child, then it’s no different than molesting a child. A 12-year-old could enjoy sex too, but it’s still wrong to do it.

Umm… I’m not up on what “mildly retarded” correlates to mental age wise. I guess I’m thinking operationally of a fully, grown woman who would lack the mental capacity to make normally obvious critical distinctions in interpreting the intentions of others, and a man could seduce her by just being nice to her and buying her dinner and telling her she was pretty, or something similar.

I think its imoral.

I would go with immoral as well. Even if you assume that the person doesn’t form any romantic attachments and thus get broken-hearted when you dump him or her, there are other issues that can be involved that he or she wouldn’t understand fully - most notably pregnancy and STDs.

I forgot to finish my thought on my last post responding to Indygrrl’s observation.

If it’s immoral for a normally intelligent man to seduce a mildy retarded woman where does that leave the woman if she enjoys sex? Let’s say that with the exception of he tubes being tied, she has a fully functioning adult body with the same sexual drives and needs as normally intelligent woman. Do you prevent her from enjoying sex period? Do you (morally) limit her partners to men of similar mental capacity and more than likely limited sexual experience and fumbling technique, or do you (morally) allow her to have sex with normally intelligent men who are not likely to want to have meaningful relationships with her beyond the sexual part.

If she wants and enjoys sex is it fair to limit her choice of partners who are willing to make the effort to seduce her, or not?

I think a person who seduces this mildly retarded woman for reasons other than having fallen in love with her is kinda skanky – as I would think anyone who seduces someone without love involved is kinda skanky. Skankiness is morally OK in my book only when all participants understand what the score is (that is, no one’s making false assumptions about What It Means), and I’m not sure the woman in this scenario would.

Legally, it would come down to whether or not she was considered “competent” under the law.

Morally… I think it’s immoral to seduce ANYONE under false pretenses. If the mildly retarded woman understands you just wanna make mookie-oonoo and be gone in the morning, then assuming she’s “competent,” I would say it is not immoral.

If, on the other hand, she is making false assumptions about that mookie-oonoo, or your intentions therein… then I’d say it’s a pretty scummy thing to do. Particularly if you led her to make those assumptions.

What does “immoral” mean?

Honestly, I’ve never really understood it. If something is not illegal and won’t hurt anybody, then do it if you want to. If it is illegal or would hurt somebody, don’t do it even if you really want to. I don’t understand how one determines whether something is moral or not, or what one would do with such a determination once it is made.

If you use “immoral” to mean “sinful,” then just ask whether doing something would be a sin under whatever religion you want instead of using the word “immoral.”

Sadly, I think that probably applies to a good majority of the female population, regardless of their mental capacity.

If you’re taking the potential partner’s feelings and well-being into consideration, that’s part of a moral code/morality.


Are you serious?!?!?!?!

"If it’s that of a child, then it’s no different than molesting a child. "

I have seen some mentally retarded people making out with each other. Would you refer to that as a child molesting a child?

Frankly I think they looked pretty loving together.

Just because she enjoys sexual contact doesn’t give you the right to impose it on her without her consent.

If she lacks the mental capacity to make normally obvious critical distinctions, then she couldn’t really give fully informed consent, could she?

If you’re having sexual relations with someone who didn’t give fully informed consent, that’s rape.

I don’t think we’re all retarded, but I have known quite a few women who’ve been slept with and dumped by guys who were nice to them and bought them dinner and told them they were pretty.

I think it has much less to do with mental capacity and more to do with self-esteem and self-worth issues.

That being said, it’s hard for me to make the distinction of ability to give consent based on that particular seduction scenario.

It kinda seems like it could happen to alot of women, retarded or not.

Does that make more sense?

The problem is, it’s usually not that clean a distinction when it comes to real people.

Real people who have low IQ’s are pretty varied in terms of their emotional capacity, maturity, social skills, impulse control, etc.

There are some I’ve known (as a worker) who couldn’t understand basic addition, couldn’t read their own name, but had pretty good “street smarts” that I’d think they could handle an intimate relationship, others who were pretty close to grade level in some areas, but no way could they be trusted alone with a child.

Also, in my experience, intelligence level has nothing to do with the amount one enjoys sexual contact.
It’s not immoral to have sex with someone who is mentally retarded, but alot depends on who the person is, whether or not they can make a fully informed decision about the nature and intensity of the relationship. That varies alot from person to person and from relationship to relationship.

I think moral is the part where you make the judgment call about “won’t hurt anybody.”

My 40-year old niece is retarded, but holds a full-time job and drives a car. She was one of Bush I’s points of light (or was that Reagan?). That aside, she exists in the realm of a not-too-bright 14-year old girl. But even that* is not an accurate description.

People with mental disabilities don’t necessarily make the same connections as those without. Saying she has the ‘mental age of a 16-year old’ or some such judgement is basically meaningless in the larger context. My niece is not always capable of making sound emotional judgements. Those synapses just don’t always make full contact. If someone who is an authority figure (a ‘normal’ adult male, for instance) tells her something is okay, she is likely to go along with it, despite rigorous training from her parents to do otherwise.

For a fully functioning adult to make sexual overtures to her is unethical, immoral, and predatory. It’s been tried in the past, and my sister (as her legal guardian) has had to intervene and warn the guy off with threats of legal action.

I always said this to my kids:

Before having sex, with someone, ask yourself if you would trust that person to raise YOUR child without you? If not, then you have no business having sex with that person.

immoral? you betcha.
but the sex is INCREDIBLE!
did I say that out loud? :smiley: