I wouldn’t normally start this type of thread, but I was specifically asked because of a comment I made in another topic.
In the Christian tradition, and others, there’s a longstanding sense of shame and sin associated with sexuality. It’s nearly impossible for me to imagine it being otherwise, despite books like Brave New World and Stranger In a Strange Land. Even in our porn-soaked world, sex is still not for polite discussion under many circumstances.
I’d posit that “sex is dirty” has led to many problems. But I’m also sort of grateful! With the right frame of mind (one without actual shame), I think it makes sex more fun. Difficult for me to envision sex being as aboveboard as sneezing or eating.
I have been in situations in the past where legal sex was not considered to be something to be ashamed/guilty of. No meant no, of course, but saying no was never accompanied by a sneer or a nasty look. I found it to be rather refreshing- a learning experience, if I may.
As an aside, when I was about six years old I asked my mother if sex was illegal.
She said, “Of course not. How do you think I got you? Why did you think that?”
It’s just that adults were always so secretive about it around kids, using hushed voices and covering our ears, I assumed it was like drugs or something you’re not supposed to do.
One of the immensely huge downsides of the religious condemnation of sex is the idea that virginity must be preserved until the wedding night. Which has caused no end of anguish and disappointment in this sorrowful world. I can at least say that on the night after our wedding we had a lot of fun, much of it of the kind that would not be approved of by religions. Which has considerably modified my opinion of religions.
Interesting. As a woman, I don’t feel that strongly about it. It’s fun. Nice for stress relief. I’ve certainly had some special moments with my partner. But when I think of the bonding of two souls I think of conversation, emotional support, those kinds of things.
My kids wish my wife and I were secretive. She and I are always snuggling and smooching and telling each other how sexy we find one another, and our kids are all EWWWW.
Since my wife and I grew up in an era where sex was done in the dark and consisted mainly of kissing and PIV activities and anything outside of that was considered ‘dirty’, she and I are all for hot, dirty, sweaty, creative sex.
