I’m utterly clueless about signals. The girl pretty much has to attack me out of frustration before I catch on (which actually happened on one occasion, though I must admit alcohol played no small role). My problem was it never occurred to me that the girl would like me. “Me?” I’d think, “No way.”
Worse, the girls I thought did like me never did. Even worse, there was one time I was after some girl who I thought was receptive, and completely wasting my time on her, when a girl I wrote off because I was sure she was out of my league was interested. The result: I got neither; one couldn’t have cared less, the other got pissed off and was with somebody else before a friend so kindly revealed to me that I really blew it with so-and-so.
What am I trying to say here? I don’t know. I guess I just empathise with your mystification because I never could figure any of it out. If I’m ever in the market again (and I most sincerely hope I never need to be), I may die before I find another mate, I’m such a bonehead. In your shoes, right now, I wouldn’t know what the hell to read into it, if anything. I think you’re going to just have to ask her out and see what happens.
That’s the POINT! Its so hard to tell for sure when a girl is telling signals that a guy has to make moves on girls that he thinks may or may not like him. That’s the whole deal. I’d say a normal guy’s signal reading ability is abysmal. The point is that if you trust your instincts to wait until it is absolutely safe, then you will certainly risk losing a lot of opportunities. Just go for it man. If anything, just make yourself blurt out some incriminating statement that you can’t back down from. One problem that a lot of shy people have is the fear of destroying friendships or other comfortable aspects of their lives. But you can’t be afraid to burn bridges, or be uncomfortable. Actually being embarassed isn’t so bad when you get used to it.
Actually, I remember you, Soapbox Monkey. I remember you having problems with girls. I’d say you should go for it. Maybe you are a little socially awkward, but you just gotta stay positive while appearing interested in her.
One thing a girl doesn’t want is a guy who is a bummer, and secondly she doesn’t want a guy who has a fatalistic approach to life. If you make her have a good time, doing whatever it is that you like to do, and don’t appear negative you should do fine, and learn a little in the process.
Take her out to get a cup of coffee some day and then get her number and start calling her. Also you should get into the art of people watching. Especially the interactions between men and women. Social relations can be studied just like any other kind of science. There are some concrete signals that mean things. Honestly it is REALLY amazing to watch two people of the opposite sex interact.
You can see the girl is oblivious to the guy, if she really digs him, or if she is annoyed, and vice versa. Study them. How is her body in relation to his? What are her hands doing? People easily give up their true feelings in ways they don’t know and it isn’t so hard to study them.
If she repeatedly mentions a current boyfriend during casual conversation it’s a sign she’s not interested in you. If she repeatedly mentions an ex-boyfriend during a date with you, it’s a sign you’d be better off not developing an interest in her. But repeated mentions of an ex-boyfriend during casual conversation could be a sign either way. So the only way you’re going to find out is to decide if you’re interested in her and then ask her out.
This isn’t really on topic, but a very hard lesson for me to learn was that I had to stop thinking I was attracted to someone only because I thought they were into me. People I wouldn’t have given a second thought to will suddenly skyrocket to the top of my esteem-scale if I think they’re diggin me. It’s a bad thing to do. If you don’t think there’s any chemistry, and you don’t think you’d have much to talk about on a date, I’m thinking you’ve got the makings of a great friend.
And while “dating around” can be an important life experience, don’t date just for the sake of dating. Date around with people you actually want to date (even if just casually). And do anything only because your friends think it’s right for you.
That said, she’s hung up on her boyfriend, not sending signals. A signal would be: “My ex-boyfriend is an idiot” with no further mention of him.