Is Superman Circumcised?

Has a doctor (human or Kryptonian) ever cut the dickie-bird of steel?

Hack-saw? Chainsaw? 14.3 Terawatt laser???

I’m sure that some of our comic book experts can give us a detailed explaination on whether the Kryptonians practiced circumcision or not. (Do Kryptonians even have forskins?)

As for Ma and Pa Kent, I doubt it. If they tried it upon finding baby Kal-El, it would have given away his secret ID, no?

Zev Steinhardt

since Supes is an American, and most of us are chopped, i’m sure he is. If he was Aussie or Europian, i’d say he wasn’t. He probably used a Krytonite scalpel on himself one day while bored in the Fortress of Solitude.

It’s the Foreskin of Steel!

Which brings the question, “How does he shave and cut his hair?”

For that matter, how did Ma Kent make his indistructable costume?

And how does he not kill Lois when he ejaculates?

  1. Heat vision and a mirror. Or, his hair doesn’t grow under the yellow sun. I forget which.

  2. She made it out of the swaddling clothes he wore while lying in a manger…whoops, 'scuse me…the baby clothes he was wearing when he was in the rocket. I think they stretched or something. I’m not sure how she got the needle through to do the alterations.

  3. You big silly. He’s Superman; he would never stoop to fornication.

…Okay, let me get out of the way and let the real Superman fans do this properly.

How does he not kill Lois?

I invite you to read Larry Niven’s Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex and be horrified. My favorite quote is:

[li]He shaves and cuts his hair by reflecting his heat vision off a small shard of his birthing chamber. [/li]
[li] If you accept the John Byrne explanation, his invulnerability extends a few millimeters out from his body, so his costume is invulnerable, except for the cape.[/li]
[li]Larry Niven fan, are we? [/li][/ol]

Current, Post-Crisis continuity says that Clark Kent didn’t start manifesting his powers until he was past puberty. Consequently, It’s entirely possible for him to have been circumcised as a baby. Whether or not he is, I dunno. For some reason, it’s never come up in continuity. :dubious:

Bah, stupid simulposts.

I’m not sure it has ever been established that Superman’s plumbing as in any way similar to ours. He is, after all, an alien, an although his outward appearance is much like ours, his internal organs are sure to be very different. For all we know Kryptonians use their nose for excretion and intercourse, one hole for each.

There’s a Michael Jackson joke in there somewhere…

There was an old comic with some guy looking into every superhero’s possible futures trying to find out who was going to become “The Emperor”, or something like that, so he could kill them before it happened. In one of his futures, Supes and Lois have a kid. Well, almost, except for the baby kicks a hole threw her and she dies. She does make some reference to fertility drugs, so it’s possibly that if they did want to have a kid, they’d have to rely on artificial insimination.

The comic The Pro has a funny little bit on this. The main character is a prostitute given super powers. To show her thanks for helping save her baby, she gives the Superman character a bj. As he gets close, he screams “Move your head, FOR GOD’S SAKE, MOVE YOUR HEAD!!!” His shot blows a hole threw her wall and knocks the wing off a passing plane.

If it isn’t, I’m sure his wife Lois is PISSED.

It was Monarch.

Well Superbaby spent some time on Krypton. It’s not like mom splotted him right into the pod and shot him right off.

So the question is does Krypton do that to their boys?

Who were the creators of Superman? Were they Jewish? ;j

Superman was created by Joe Shuster and Jerry Siegel, and yeah, they were both Jewish. Much has therefore been made of the ostensible Jewish themes of the comic (baby cast adrift in small boat/rocketship, immigrant from a destroyed homeland, suffix of Kryptonian names ending with Hebrew “-el” [Kal-el, Jor-el], etc., etc.)

Obviously, the comic book never directly addressed the issue of genital mutilation, nor did Supes ever drop trou. My own guess would be no for Pre-Crisis Superman. So far as we know, Krypton had no rabbis, and once he entered Earth’s solar system his structures all became indestructible, as previously noted. I suppose it’s possible that Kryptonians may have practiced circumcision for hygenic purposes or whatever, so the point can be argued either way.

On the other hand, it was certainly possible for Post-Crisis Superman to be circumcised as an infant, since the new continuity established that he only manifested invulnerability as he grew older (similar to the current TV show). Bear in mind that this idea of gradually developing powers was in fact, established by Shuster and Siegel in their first take on Superman’s origin story, not by the archfiend John Byrne, so it’s okay to repeat it in civilized company.


What is this pre-crisis, post-crisis?


Dean Cain is.

Hair and fingernails are composed of non-living tissue so I think the indestructability of them would gradually decrease along their length.

Yeah, basically in current continuity it’s possible that Superman is circumcised, but like other such questions (Does the Thing have orange rocks on his dork? Can Mr. Fantastic stretch his wang as readily as the rest of his body? The Vision was married to Scarlet Witch, but does he have the equipment to fulfill his marital duties? Some sort of special attachment maybe?) we’ll never know the answer. Not officially.

As for Superman’s indestructable costume, the pre-crisis explanation was a tad ridiculous as how could Ma Kent tailor indestructable fabric? Maybe she use kryptonite scissors, since that stuff was common as dirt and came in 57 different varieties in those days.

The current explanation, I believe, is that Supes has a sort of invincibilty field that protects anything close to his skin. His costume is protected, but his cape gets shredded all the time.