Is That You, Mo-Dean?

Curiouser and curiouser…

This day has started off completely Dali-esque. I haven’t even fully woken up yet. I’m beginning to feel a little like Arthur Dent, sans housecoat, but I’m thinking I should grab my towel now.

First off, I am shaken gently awake by my husband, who is ready to head out the door and he gives me a little kiss and asks me what time I am supposed to wake up this morning, since I need to get into work earlier than usual (well, for today. Normally on Fridays I don’t go to work until 2pm). I blink, rub the sleep from my eyes, and grab my trusty little alarm clock. Not-so-trusty, it appears, as the alarm was supposed to have gone off a couple of minutes before. I show my husband my alarm clock tiredly and begin to mumble about how I left myself about an hour’s worth of extra time in case I needed it. However, I now have to get my backup, never-fail alarm clock set, to ensure I do wake up. My husband smiles and shakes his head at my odd waking-up routine and heads out the door. I set my never-fail backup clock AND my now non-trusty old alarm clock, just to be sure. I fall asleep and dream of going to a restaurant, and taking everything I possibly could take from the menu home in a doggy bag. My never-fail alarm clock goes off…

…half an hour early. Huh? I check it, double check it. Nope, it is set properly. AM, not PM. Disgusted, I turn off both clocks and get in the shower. It still doesn’t quite wake me up, but at least now I’m clean and dressed, so I sit down to a nice little breakfast. I see a note left for me by my husband: Sale on hot dogs. Go pick some up for BBQ, if you have time. I look at the clock. Yeah, I’ve got time. I take a post-it and write down hot dogs. I add one more item for myself and place the note in my purse. I hear shuffling outside the door.

The mailman? The mail never comes until about one in the afternoon. It’s about 9:30am. Huh. I open the door and see a new mailman. Well, okay, someone else doing the route. He smiles and half bows at me, then scurries off to the house next door. Uh. Okay. I fumble my keys out of my purse and open the mailbox. Oh! A “Welcome to the United States of America” letter from the DHS! Well, that’s very nice of them. I beamed and set it near my husband’s computer so he could see it when he got home in the evening. I then decide it’s time to run my errands.

I leave the house and begin walking to the store. Along the way I pass a man walking in the opposite direction. He is smiling at me and looks eerily similar to Mos Def. Ford? I think to myself. As he passes me, he says, “Welcome to America!” I spin around and stare after him. He smiles, gives me a friendly wave, and continues walking. I don’t know this person. I have never seen him in my life. Maybe he didn’t say that? Bewildered, I continue walking.

At the store, I pull my little post it note from my purse. It has two items on it:

hot dogs

Uh huh. I gather up these high class goodies and take them to the counter. The lady checking me out leans forward and whispers:

“Haven’t I seen you on TV? There was this sitcom…”

I shake my head no. Any resemblence I may have once had to Alyson Hannigan has passed over time, between weight gain and lost youth, and me not really having looked a lot like her in the first place aside from red hair, pale skin, and goofy mannerisms. Other than that, I don’t look a damn thing like anybody famous, that’s for certain. Unless she thought I looked like that fat guy on King of Queens or something. I leave the store.

As I am walking along the sidewalk in the shade of a building, suddenly a red rose falls out of the sky and at my feet. I pause a second or two, but then step over it and continue walking. I hear another soft “shh” sound hit the ground behind me, turn around and see another one has fallen. Another lands beside me. I look up into the sky. I see nothing. No one seems to be around.

“Where are the damn frogs?” I mutter aloud, thinking of the frogs that rained over various places throughout history.


I look up again, startled. There, on the roof, poking his head over the side, is… well, apparently a Frenchman. He is holding several roses. I back away to get a better view of him, and he seems to be decorating something.

“Je m’excuse!” I shout to him. He waves me off with a flap of his hand. Well, there’s my frog, I think. I continue walking home without incident.

I open the door to my apartment, and my oldest cat runs up to me with her favourite gray mouse toy. She drops it at my feet and begins rubbing my legs in her usual manner.

“Yes, yes, just a minute,” I mutter, tripping over her to get to the counter.

Now, Momma!” she says. I am stunned.

What did you just say?” I ask her. She looks at me with wide, innocent eyes. I shake my head. It’s the heat, I think. I stand up and walk down the hall to wash up.

MOMMA!” the cat yells. I look at her. She looks innocent again.

I think I need some of that wine.

So, it’s only 11am. I need to go to work at noon. I can’t wait to find out what’s in store for me today. :dubious:

Whatever the case, I think I should bring my towel.

“Well it had been 987 years in outer space time when I got back.
Couldn’t seem to find any of my friends to tell my intersting stories to!”

I’ll have some of what she’s having. :slight_smile:

Someone confused you for Mo Dean? Pretty flattering!

Oh, heavens, I wish.

Well… on my way to work, a hummingbird flew into the side of my head. I thought it was a dragonfly when I heard it coming, and raised my hand to shoo it away, but THUD! Stunned me, stunned the bird, but it got up very quickly and flew off. Scared the living daylights out of me. I staggered in to work, holding the side of my head.

Then all of the clocks at work stopped working. The second hand on the main one we all watch was moving backwards. We all stayed later than usual because we thought it wasn’t time to go. My watch stopped. My co-worker’s watch stopped.

What. The. Hell?!

I mean, seriously, what the friggin’ hell? :confused:

Oh dear god. I just ran to put new batteries in my camera, and they don’t work. The camera keeps saying “Needs new batteries.”

I want my bloody camera to work, because now my cat is, honest to Og, and my husband will vouch for me here, wearing one of my sneakers. Her front paw is in my shoe, stuck, and since she can’t get it out, she’s begrudgingly hauling it along.

My cat is wearing my shoe.

I’m getting out of here.

Yeah, you’re working your way up the Weird Shit-O-Meter.

So um…do you have days like this often? Have you finally opened up your eyes and realized you were dreaming the entire time?

Sigh, no. I’m dead serious. When I wrote my first post this morning, I was mildly amused. Now I just feel weird. I’m starting to feel like a freaking whacko. And I’m not. I have witnesses to most of these events. Co-workers, my husband… it’s surreal.

So…how did the night go?
You remember, it’s one foot first…lean into it…bring the other foot up and forward…ut that one in front of you before you flatten your nose on the floor…and et cetera.

Can’t be TOO careful now.

I love your stories, dear. Didn’t you have another time when people on the street spoke to you as though they knew you? You do have a memorable face, Cherub-like, in fact. (That didn’t sound gay, did it?) and you do too look like Alyson Hannigan.
I think, I saw the same (Mos Def) guy on my way to the tavern Tuesday. He seemed pretty harmless. He might have welcomed me to Ballard, but I think it was just the 'Vette that attracted him.

Are you sure you didn’t put the batteries in backwards? Hubby does that every time he put them in our camera.

I fully believe the kitty spoke to you, one of mine used to say “Outside,” unfortunately, one too many “outsides” sent him to kitty heaven. I think they all understand everything we say, and could respond if they wanted to, but are mostly too arrogant to do so.

See you Tuesday? :smiley:

Yeah, I have a cat that regularly says “out”. And “no”. And once when we asked her where the other cat was hiding, she clearly said “I dunno”.

Hope today’s just a BIT less surreal for you.

Well, I just woke up… both alarm clocks worked much to my pleased dismay, if that makes any sense.

picunurse, you are too kind, and not gay at all. :smiley: It’s also good to know I’m not the only one who has seen our friend Mos Def, and that he just seems to be a friendly guy who likes to welcome people. Maybe he can sense it about us. Maybe he’s just nuts. Either way, I’m glad you saw him, too!

The Frenchman, okay, another coincidence. That was odd, but odd happens.

The hummingbird was a fluke. As my manager asked me yesterday, “How many people get to say they’ve had a hummingbird fly into their head? That is awesome!” (her “awesome” has that extra, adorable emphasis that only those from the Czech Republic can add - which sent me into hysterics).

The lady at the store… meh. I still think I don’t look like anyone but me. Monstrous! Or, cherub-like, depending on who you ask. :stuck_out_tongue:

The cat… okay. She talks all the time and this one is new. So… maybe she’s just learned it. She hasn’t said it again, though. I did, however, finally get the camera working a few moments after I’d logged out of the Dope last night and Mr. Stasaeon and I were about to head out… but first we had to free poor Sea-Bass. (Those hairy human arms in the picture belong to my husband, btw, not me.) By then, as you can see, my husband had untied the shoe and she was just dragging it around, and he eventually convinced me to put the camera down so I could use my smaller hands to get in there and (eventually!) free her. I wish I could have gotten the damn thing working to have gotten a video of her clomping around in that shoe, though. Damn.

I still don’t quite get the whole deal with clocks yesterday. My watch stopped again last night while my husband and I were out. One clock I can understand. Two clocks, no problem. Three, even! But cripes, I couldn’t seem to find a clock that worked yesterday. Not at work, not at home, not out… weird. My husband was beginning to get creeped out. He wanted to know if I’d pissed off any Swiss people.

I think I invoked the B-52’s god by going to the store to buy hot dogs and wine, personally. As soon as I saw the thing in the grocery store, I’ve had Is That You Mo-Dean? stuck in my head, as is probably apparent from the title of the OP. Now that I think I’m in the clear glances at the cats, I went to iTunes and downloaded it. Now I’m just rockin’ out.

I am, however, wearing a towel. Protection.

About the clocks, maybe they’re re-making The Day the Earth Stood Still, and practicing the clock-stopping trick in your neighborhood.

Oh! Yes. Forgot to answer you, as I was off to work. But yes, yes, I will be there. I had enormous fun. :smiley:

That’s one of the weirdest, funniest things I’ve ever read, and in reading it to my fiance, I burst into uncontrollable laughter three times.

Hope things get better. :slight_smile: