I had a lot of fun in the Army trying to get my Hummers stuck in the Georgia swamps and defying gravity in the Mojave by climbing near-verical slopes. I only ever got stuck once, and that was my fault for following someone else’s belly-deep tracks in the mud (good times…).
Fast forward to today: dodging pristine H3s and Land Rovers and the like through the asphalt jungle on the way to work, cars that have clearly never been taken off road (unless you count the front lawn for a bath as "off-road). Something in my cynical heats is screeching, “YOU WISH!!!” But I don’t know–maybe I’m drawing the wrong conclusions about rugged-looking vehicles that never seem to have the paint & body rash of a vehicle that has loved a tree or a dried up creekbed.
So, should I ever become a Spaniard of means and find myself in a position to heed the call of the mudmonster, how would I fare if I were to visit my local exotic car dealer and hie myself with a standard H3 to the wilderness? My guess is, “Not Far.” The little cursory inspection I have given the civilian edition Hummers reveals a number of significant design variances from the versions I used when pushing 55 mph accross an unpaved and heavily rutted desert floor. So, sure, they look beefy enough, but methinks they would cry if they were hit. Any dope one way or the other with regard to the durability of off-the-shelf SUVs?
The resemblance an H2 bears to a Humvee is the same relationship a Tonka truck bears to its real counterpart. The H2 is a great big Chevy Tahoe with spendy giant tires on it. It does not have the full 16" ground clearance, the torque, the gear ratio or the four wheel independent suspension. It costs a mint, gets incredibly crappy mileage and tells the world you have issues with the size of your junk. It’s a way for sales people to get rich.
I’ve driven both, and the H2 is a freeway yacht. The Humvee, on the other hand, is a brute that will tear it up offroad, but it has zero creature comforts–starting with the big hump that runs down the middle of the passenger compartment. If I could get a military surplus Humvee and slap a 7L inline 6 Duramax into it I could drive it up a wall… dream on, dream on! Now THAT would be a big girl toy!
I can’t answer your question except to say that you should probably look at the original or “H1” Hummer. It was really derived form the HMMWV, whereas the H2 and H3 are only cosmetically related. They may or may not be good SUV’s, but they’re not based on the real military vehicle.
The original Hummers (H1s?) were pretty similar to the military version…fully independent suspension, elevated axles driving geared hubs…LOTS of ground clearance in the middle where it matters most. The H2, on the other hand, is essentially a Chevy pickup truck with an ugly body. I haven’t yet seen an H3 up close.
Having met both Navy girls and civilian girls, I can attest to the fact that the civilian hummer is just as good as the standard Navy-issue hummer. Of course, that’s just anecdotal evidence.
I’ve heard Hummer is the name of an SUV as well, by the way. Don’t know much about those.
And the H3 is much closer to a modern Jeep, I understand - while both H2 and H3 are far better suited to offroading than your average Camry, neither is as good as the military Humvee or the civilian H1 (as pointed out, the H1 is the same basic vehicle as the Humvee, the H2 and H3 are completely different vehicles).
All that said, the H1 cost even MORE than an H2 (they were over $100k new) and they sure weren’t what you’d call “fuel sippers”.
The H3 is the “Baby Bear” edition, for when the full-size vehicle is too big.
The H2 is largely a Suburban tarted up with quasi-military styling. *Car and Driver * uses the term “worst in class” a lot when talking about the 2007 model.
If you want “aim and drive at speed” ability over pretty much any terrain on the planet, you need the H1 / HMMV.
Of course, unless you live in Moab, any “off road” vehicle probably has more capability than its driver knows how to manage.
Very true that last part. My brother had a Toyota Tercel wagon with 4WD. The Tercel is not typically the vehicle that comes to most minds when capable off-road vehicles are mentioned. My brother took that thing places where a friend of mine wouldn’t drive his full-size Ford Bronco 4X4. Of course, my brother is insane, but it would take that kind of mind to test the capabilities of such a machine.
I have no doubt that the H2 and H3 driveway queens would perform capably off-road with the right driver. It’s just understandably fashionable to bash them.
Well besides the old humvee, I would imagine that the second best would be the old Toyota Hilux. Ever see that thing on Top Gear? They literally put it through hell. They dropped a caravan on it, left it in the ocean, set it on fire, and it still wouldn’t stop. Of course this is the diesel version. I don’t know about the new ones, but the old toyota hilux was dan hard.
An interesting observation and one which I think should be addressed. Because while I most certainly do harbor a certain opinion of people who buy the beasties and then fail to introduce them to so much as an unpaved driveway, I was curious as to whether those people were prudent and aware of the lawn ornament capabilities of their purchase, or merely sissies who would have been better served with a BMW 530xi AWD or a pair of matching Ford Mustangs for getting the kids to soccer practice.
The only 4wd I’m familiar with is of the “aim and drive at speed”-capable variety-While I would feel a bit silly buying and driving a civilian bedecked Hummer, I would feel even moreso spraining an axle in the company of a Ford or a Jeep out by some remote fishin’ hole because I had assumed my new ride was capable of measuring up to my old Army buddy.
::: shrug::: Like the line from the old movie, No brag, just fact.
The best part of this was a month or two after the results were released, and the “You guy SUX” letters came in. The editor responded with a few of the reason that the Hummer did not win. The one I recall was that there were several slopes that the Hummer could not climb without using low range. The rest of the field had no problems with these grades.
ETA: But hey if paying a 15K premium for a Chevy with really bad aerodynamics, is appealing to you, knock your self out. It’s your dime.
When the County that I live in anounced that they may stop all maintenece on the road that we live on, I considered a UniMog. Maybe a used one.
I do have a plow truck, and plow the road when I have to, but it just beats the hell out of it. Once in a while is fine. My pickup could not keep it open all year though. My truck is for my driveway.
Twenty four feet of snow this year and counting. Got three inches yesterday.
