Is the Pope Alive???

I know I’m going to go to hell for this, but after watching images on the Pope on CNN today, it appeared to me that they’ve somehow “propped” him up to keep him from falling over!! The man really looks like he got out of his death bed this morning to make his mandatory appearance!!

I know that the Pope is the Pope until he’s gone to Heaven, but seriously, is he really any good to the church in his state? Shouldn’t the Church be thinking about making some new rules and changes regarding the status quo just for history’s sake?? I suppose if his mind is still functioning highly, it may not matter! He could 'prolly still manage to do the job from his bed, but then again, he seems to have set a precedent with all that traveling he used to do in bringing God’s message to his Lambs!

What say you people??

Actually, the Pope cannot be dead. Were the Pope really dead, Vatican scientists would have rolled out their “RoboPope 2.0.” The 2.0 model is actually quite sophisticated; it can perform up to three St. Peter’s Square services on a single charge. The 1.0 had its problems–it tended to malfunction on contact with water, which made baptisms problematic.

RoboPope has proven itself impervious not only to extreme hot and cold, but also to theological and dogmatic change. There’s a strong suspicion that the next College of Cardinals are considering RoboPope as a natural successor to John Paul II.

ROGLMAO!!! :stuck_out_tongue:

Will RoboPope be retrofitted with the latest in radio-transmission technology so as to keep in touch with the Heavens?? :smiley:

Correct. As long as he retains all his faculties, it doesn’t matter at all.

And honestly, even if he weren’t it wound;t make a lot of difference either. The bureaucracy is well-equipped to handle things.

Ever read Dan Simmons Hyperion/Endymion saga? It features a pope that CAN’T die.

Actually, it features a pope which can’t stay dead, which is much creepier.

Wasn’t that one about the death and resurrection (brought about via the cruciform symbiote) of Pope Julius XIV. Re-christening himself Urban XVI, the Pope (like his namesake) declares it is time for a Holy Crusade to wipe out all non-believers (only Catholics, wearers of the cruciform, are spared). The Pope then dispatches his troops and ships to seek out and destroy the Ousters and any fringe elements of humans???

Nah, never read it! Is it any good?

Yes, the Pope is still alive.

He is also still Catholic.

And he does still shit in the woods.


He has a nice hat. :slight_smile:

Hey, Eutychus!!

I don’t mind as long as he doesn’t do it in the Blackstone River!! :eek:

West Warwick, RI ?? I’m just up the street (Rte. 146) from you…in Worcester! It’s a small world!! :slight_smile:

Love your sauce.

Hate your textile mills! :smiley:

That’s still in beta-testing, I’m afraid. It is quite likely, however, that RoboPope will utilize the Opus Dei operating system (last approved build circa 1493 AD).


Damned moderators, they get all the good jokes. Sigh.

But is the bear Catholic?

Does the Pope use that quilted Charmin with Petals of Cylque*?


[sub]*all spelling is optional once the marketing department takes over…[/sub]

No, but the bear does.
Damn prissy bear! :wink:

Does a one-legged duck swim in circles?

Is a frog’s ass watertight?

Does a one-legged Pope with a watertight ass shit in circles in the woods, and use quilted Charmin with Petals of Cylque?

How much pop does a pooped Pope poop when a pooped Pope does poop pop?


I’m just glad my mom (superuberultrahighcatholicissississima) doesn’t read the Boards.

Not for the first time, either…