:cough: We don’t *have *Popes. We simply recognize that everyone is a Pope (so please treat’m right).
I’m not sure Pan-Pontification is even Discordian, 'xactly.
What happens if he shakes hands with Francis?
Football. And enough with the Italian dialect already. 
We’re forced to sit through a rerun of The Alternative Factor :eek:
If he forces the American cardinals to criticize abortion a teeny bit less and economic inequality a whole lot more, the heads of their Catholic right wing buddies will explode during sermons.
It used to be hard for a rich person to enter heaven, but now it appears they think they have FastPass and can cut the line, just like at the airport and the amusement park.
Man, you’d think all those bishops who voted for him would’ve noticed if he wasn’t Catholic… that’s gotta be line 1 on the job descriptions.
American Catholics are not the anti-abortion foes. They are for/against abortion pretty much in the same ratio as the rest of the populace. I doubt they are informed in the opinion about that by their priests any more than they are about birth control. It’s the Evangelical and Fundamentalist Protestants who are the real abortion foes.
Beware of the Dwarf! (or is it “look out for the midget”?)
Far out!
Well, did you read the encyclical written by the Pope?
He says folks with private property ain’t got no hope
The rich ain’t welcome in the Heavenly Palladium
The Knights of Columbus own Yankee Stadium
Now, I ain’t sayin’ that the Pope was wrong
But he can easily afford to sing that song
If you’d like to call him up when you need some dough
His number’s Et Cum Spiritu Tuo
– “Color TV,” Don McLean
For non-Catholics, and Catholics too young to know about the Latin mass…
Et cum spirtu tuo is “And with your spirit”. It used to go:
Priest: Dominus vobiscum
Alter boys: Et cum spiritu tuo.
You couldn’t always count on the congregation to respond in Latin, and sometimes only the alter boys would (we had little cue cards with the response written in red).
Now it’s:
Priest: The Lord be with you.
Congregation: And with your spirit.
John Mace: former, pre-Vatican II alter boy.
Oh, and the nuns (or at lest my 2nd grade nun) had this little helpful advice to remember the phrase: Think of “et cum spearmint, chew-chew oh!”
My god, you’re old!
My mom, grandma and aunts used to pray the rosary, and if I remember correctly – and I may not-- it was at least partly in Latin. What was that about?
Sheesh. Depends on what you mean by “old.” I’m in my fifties, and I can remember my Pater Noster and my Ave Maria and bits and pieces of the Mass.
Hell, I’m 30ish, not a Catholic and even I know the Pater Noster. It goes like the second verse of the national hymn : Pater noster qui es in caelis, mumble mumble, AMEN.
I was joking. I am 43 myself. 
I barely made the cut-- there was only one year overlap of me being old enough to be an alter boy and Vatican II changing the mass to English. But damn it, I can remember all the Latin calls/responses during the mass to this very day. From the first Dominus to the last Oremus!
OK. Let’s see you do the Suscipiat.
(For some reason, that was always harder than the much longer Confiteor.)
I’m not familiar with that song but that’s pretty clever ("Et Cum Spiri 2-2-0).
You of all people should know it’s altar, then.
In those days, they didn’t let girls serve. But we could follow along with the Latin quite well because The Daily Missal had Latin on one page & the English translation on the facing page. You could skip back & forth between the bits said daily (or per type of mass–regular or special) & the parts that changed by date. There were nifty colored ribbons to use as bookmarks. Lots of fun if you got bored…