I played Assbandit’s Creed, for all of ten minutes. It sucked. The high-tech virtual-reality-simulation aspect of it was SO FUCKING STUPID; why couldn’t they have just set the damn game in the historical period and left it at that? The dusty, dull gray-brown color palette was about as interesting to look at as a camel’s ass; I realize it was that way because it was set in Jerusalem or something…well guess what, that was a shitty setting to set it in then. I want to see some red, blue, green, yellow and purple and stuff every now and then. (At least Medieval II Total War is extremely colorful, although it’s not the kind of game I’m talking about.)
I just want a game where I can play as a badass knight in badass armor, riding around on a giant horse, and hacking people to death with swords and maces. And the ability to upgrade and customize armor, and earn skill points, and meet other heroes and form parties and develop alliances. What is so impossible about that kind of game?