A friend of mine has what I think is a tactful way of phrasing a piece of news like this. She’ll say, “Only your best friend would tell you this, but…” and then say what it is, like “you have spinach in your teeth,” “that perfume is really bad,” “your breath needs help.”
Thanks for all the great suggestions. I tried to do it today, but just couldn’t. I need to work up my courage a bit more.
Vinyl Turnip, that made me laugh.
It might be a medical condition, so they might already know this. Just an FYI.
I confroted someone about this, and his response was exactly that. His breath was always rank some days worse than others.
When I worked in an office back in the late '80s we had a guy who instead of bad breath had terrible body odor. For months we tried to be polite, dropping subtle hints and joking. It didn’t work and everyday we would have to endure an assault on our noses.
Finally we had enough and 10 of us pitched in , purchased a CASE of deodorant and left it on his desk with a bow on top of it. He finally got the hint and within a week or so the BO problem was no more.
I’d probably take this route. I have a good sense of smell so I think I am often one of the first people to notice when someone smells of gingivitis.
It could also be from something more serious like liver disease for all we know, so really it would be best to tell them “I think you need to see a doctor or dentist” rather than telling them just to brush more.
Rule Number something: If someone offers you a breath mint, take it.
Or an antibiotic.
“I wouldn’t normally tell someone they have bad breath, but Christ, Marge, yours would knock a buzzard off a shit wagon.”
What, too subtle?
You could say something like, “Ew, it suddenly smells like ass in here!”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Especially in this area here.” [Gesture in the space between you two]
“Funny, I don’t smell anything–”
“There it is again! Just kill me now!”
This is what I do - I offer them gum or a mint, and at the same time have some myself. If they take it, great - and if not, I’ve got a minty smell in my mouth which counteracts their breath so it doesn’t bother me any more. I figure someone offering something minty should send the signal that there could be an issue to deal with too.
I’ve never been a fan of the old, “anonymous note” trick. Honestly, it’s a bit cowardly. And besides, if you received a note like that, would you want to go to the office every day wondering who wrote that note?
I told a guy he had bad breath one time. We dated briefly. On our first date, we went to an Italian restaurant. At the end of the night we kissed a few times and I noticed he had bad breath. I just chalked it up to the Italian food. We went out one more time. And the night ended with a few kisses. I wanted to have sex, but his breath was rancid. So, he tried to kiss me more and I just couldn’t take it. So, I said, (and maybe this was cowardly) “maybe we should go brush our teeth”. We did, and it masked the noxious fumes which were coming from his mouth for 15 minutes. I feigned a headache. He never called me again, and I never called him again.
If I had bad breath, I’d want someone to tell me. Preferably gracefully. I might be a bit embarrassed, but in the long run, I’d appreciate that they told me.
“Would you like a breath mint? Oh yes, really you would. Really.”
Also: When someone offers you a breath mint, take it.
I just changed dentists because the DENTIST had horrible breath. I kept thinking, “Well, he’s in people’s mouths all day, maybe this is some kind of passive-aggressive move,” but I can’t help it, I already have an extremely sensitive gag reflex. Eww.
I did not tell him why. I’m such a terrible dental patient he probably didn’t care.
“Hey!”
“What?”
“Let’s play opposite day!”
“Uh…”
“Your breath smells awesome!”
“…”
It’s the baited breath that’ll get ya.
BTW, I had a coworker tell me I had bad breath once (just laid it out brutally), and I still think back to that interaction with gratitude.
It would be perfectly polite to pull them aside and say: “Excuse me. I have to tell you that your breath smells terrible.”
I wasn’t previously aware that liver disease could cause odor. I know he is a serious drinker, so now I’m pretty concerned. He doesn’t have insurance though, so I doubt there will be much he can do about it. So does that just make my telling him pointless?
I hate this kind of situation. It’s so awkward.
You know, it may be something like a rotten tooth. I had a rotten wisdom tooth for a long time and did not know it. My breath was probably bad enough to kill birds halfway across the world.
Maybe you can do a little white lying.
You: “I am so embarrassed. Someone told me my breath is horrible! I guess I need to go to the dentist. It HAS been a long time. Maybe I have a rotten tooth or something.”
Now maybe the Stinky Breath person will say, “I haven’t been to the dentist in a long time either.”
And you can say, “That makes me feel better. Maybe I’m not the only one walking around here with issues!”
It sounds really lame, I know. And maybe you can tweak the wording somehow. And maybe Stinky Breath person won’t get the hint. But at least it puts the thought in his/her head that not going to the dentist = bad breath.
Yes.
You need to make it clear, because if they don’t know, then subtlety won’t work.
I told my best friend this directly. (It took me some time to nerve up to it.)
Once he knew, the problem got sorted and we’re still best mates.
I once heard someone ask “Hypothetically, if your zipper was down would you want someone to tell you?”
A variation on that might work but like a lot of the suggestions in this thread a lot depends on the person and your relationship with them.
- Find adorable kid.
- Drag him to the close vicinity of the manuremouth persons face.
- …
- Profit.