I used to the get the Chobani yogurt tubes at Costco, and have one for breakfast every day I had to go into the office. It was great: I saved the 45 seconds it would take me to sit down and eat yogurt at home and, at the same time, give other commuters the impression, if only briefly, that I was fellating Shiva(*).
However, Costco dropped the Chobani tubes and replaced them with “Go-gurt”, which tastes like pure sugar with syrup sauce. Seriously, it’s like a Pixie Stick smoothie. So, recently I’ve tried Fage Greek yogurt. (The cup has printed on it, “Pronounced: Fa-yeh!” Yes, the exclamation point is part of the pronunciation. I thinks it’s short for, “No, it’s not ‘faggy’. Stop calling us to ask that, assholes!”) The problem is it comes in two compartments, one containing plain yogurt, and the other containing fruit-like flavoring. No matter how much I try to stir in the flavoring, I get patches of Go-gurt-esque sweetness, and others of sourish plain yogurt. Neither is particularly pleasant. Is there a trick I’m missing? Does Brookstone carry an “in cup yogurt blender-matic” tool, or something like that?
(*) Or Lucifer, depending on which flavor I chose that morning.